How to read an event for a pursuit

[Jungles]

This is not meant to be inflammatory, but is merely a satirical annotation of an event record of a police pursuit.

Glossary:
POI - Person of Interest.
Rodeo - Holden Rodeo 4x4 utility, used by some police services as an offender transport vehicle (aka. "cage" ) with appropriate modifications to the tray area.
VKG - Callsign for the New South Wales Police Radio Operations Section.


: HOW TO READ AN EVENT FOR A PURSUIT
:
: Whilst on routine patrol a suspicious
: vehicle came under notice
: (We saw a WRX)
:
: We conducted surveillance on the vehicle
: (We decided to follow it until it did
: something wrong)
:
: The vehicle breached the traffic act
: (We clocked it doing 68 Km/H in a 60 zone)
:
: We attempted to conduct a routine vehicle
: stop but the vehicle of interest failed to
: stop.
: (We had forgotten to turn the siren on!)
:
: After failing to pull over for 100 metres
: the vehicle of interest suddenly decamped
: (We found the siren and he put his foot
: down.)
:
: An attempt to inform VKG was met with no
: reply.
: (The radio was turned off.)
:
: The vehicle of interest was travelling at no
: less than 70km/h and no more than 80 km/h
: through a medium suburban street
: (He was doing 120km/h down the main drag of
: Cronulla)
:
: VKG responded and we informed them of the
: pursuit.
: (We turned the radio back on.)
:
: The vehicle of interest was driving contrary
: to the road rules and endangering the
: public
: (He was now doing 150km/h on the wrong side
: of the road, through a red light in a school
: zone)
:
: The vehicle of interest collided with a
: parked car doing minor damage
: (I lost the back end of the caged truck on a
: corner and bumped the parked car trying to
: straighten up)
:
: The driver of the vehicle of interest was
: showing callous disregard for the Office of
: the Law.
: (He was getting away from us.)
:
: The vehicle of interest was doing not less
: than 80km/h and not more than 100km/h in a
: light-medium traffic
: (He was doing 160 Kays on Kingsway in peak
: hour.)
:
: The vehicle of interest momentarily lost
: control, causing it's tyres to lose traction
: with the road and the vehicle to slide
: sideways
: (He did the coolest handbrakie.)
:
: At the same corner the Police car also lost
: traction but not to the extent of the
: vehicle of interest.
: (I tried to do the handbrake turn and almost
: rolled the Rodeo)
:
: The vehicle of interest unsuccessfully tried
: to evade Police
: (Man these V6 Rodeos fly!)
:
: The vehicle of interest reduced his speed
: dramatically as if he had lost the will to
: continue this futile battle with Police.
: (He blew a tyre.)
:
: The vehicle of interest slowed for no
: apparent reason
: (He accidentally pulled into a dead end
: street)
:
: The vehicle of interest stopped suddenly and
: reversed deliberately impacting the front of
: the Police vehicle
: (He stopped and we ran up his arse)
:
: The POI exited the vehicle of interest and
: decamped as backup Police arrived
: (The bastard made us run after him.)
:
: The POI was apprehended after a short foot
: pursuit and placed under arrest with the
: assistance of other crews
: (The new guy actually caught him, but he's
: an idiot, so we took the credit.)
:
: The POI was wanted on a number of other
: warrants and matters such that it took the
: remainder of the shift to properly charge
: him
: (No one could remember how to use the Charge
: Management System.)
:
: The POI was charged with the matters now
: before the court.
: (The end.)

>> Edited by Jungles on Sunday 26th February 12:18

>> Edited by Jungles on Sunday 26th February 12:19