Spare a thought...
Discussion
bryan35 said:
I'm sat at my desk with tears in my eyes.
very sobering
Me too, I wonder how such a tragedy could affect me like that. It's just a 13 year old story from someone on the internet, but my God that was tragic and beautifully written, and I'm so sorry for you and your family.very sobering
As said, that was so well written, maybe you should put a book together, and maybe it should be mandatory in schools. That's so much more powerful than repeated don't speed rubbish.
Well written, and well received. I was talking to my homies from school days in the pub the other night (driver on orange juice!), recalling daft things we did as newly passed drivers. One memory of mine was following someone over winding roads at night, in excess of 60mph, so close to their bumper that I couldn't see the reflection of my headlights in the rear of their car.
We all had several stories, and there were some juicy crashes too, but by the grace of god no injuries and no-one else involved (and no drinking either). I think many of us do stupid things before we grow up to be proper drivers, but often we don't realise what the consequences might be until we have seen some occasions when it went wrong. If we are lucky, we spin, or fishtail so badly we need new underwear, or someone flashes past close enough to touch, or we bust through a hedge and break the car but not ourselves.
Once in a while, there is no luck home, and the piece of stupidity injures or kills, in the very worst case someone else, as in this story. The best reason for writing down this is that it might get to someone who then doesn't put themselves in the position where luck is the only difference between a scare and a fatal smash. I'm sending this link to a couple of guys I know with sons old enough to need the advice.
Keep going Reg - keep making people think.
We all had several stories, and there were some juicy crashes too, but by the grace of god no injuries and no-one else involved (and no drinking either). I think many of us do stupid things before we grow up to be proper drivers, but often we don't realise what the consequences might be until we have seen some occasions when it went wrong. If we are lucky, we spin, or fishtail so badly we need new underwear, or someone flashes past close enough to touch, or we bust through a hedge and break the car but not ourselves.
Once in a while, there is no luck home, and the piece of stupidity injures or kills, in the very worst case someone else, as in this story. The best reason for writing down this is that it might get to someone who then doesn't put themselves in the position where luck is the only difference between a scare and a fatal smash. I'm sending this link to a couple of guys I know with sons old enough to need the advice.
Keep going Reg - keep making people think.
R_U_LOCAL said:
As I mentioned in my post, remember that these things can hapen to anyone, and we need to look after each other a bit better on the roads.
Reg,^ Very, very good point.
.......................
Reg, you have my very sincere sympathy.
And my profound respect for posting your grief.
I'm not sure about what I have written below so if you or anyone wants it removed please ask.
Reg, I seem to recall that you let slip, in one of your post, what area your are based.
If my memory is correct then you may remember this:
1985 my step son was hit by a driver jumping a red light, step son was thrown out of his car (Mini Van) and attended to by a passing nurse.
It ITU for weeks, massive brain damage, going to die, etc.etc.
But he didn't die, today, I think, he his working but is not 100% what should be.
So your thinking how did this affect me?
Well it destroyed my marriage, I have three children that I haven't seen for years.
How does this relate to Reg?
I have never spoken to anyone about how it affected me - Reg has done that today about his lose.
If my step son had died I think that I would not have lost my wife and children.
Steve
Edited by skeggysteve on Tuesday 31st July 22:17
R_U_LOCAL said:
If just one person reads the story and alters their behaviour just slightly, then it was worth posting.
Absolutely. A salutary tale and thank you for being brave enough to share it with us all.scissorhands83 said:
would like her to learn the hard way and ring the BiB, but don't want it to go like that
I can understand where you are coming from. Nobody likes a 'grass'. But how will you feel if you do nothing and she ends up in a hospital or, god forbid, causes someone else's son or daughter to die? Personally I think anyone of that mindset should be forced to spend an entire day in casualty seeing first hand the results of what loss of control of a vehicle can do to the human body . Might be a lot more effective than any lecture.Thank you for sharing your story. I have to say I relish seeing a long R_U_LOCAL post as I invariably learn something. This wasn't quite what I was anticipating and my sympathies to you.
R_U_LOCAL said:
If just one person reads the story and alters their behaviour just slightly, then it was worth posting.
I've been reading SP&L for several months now and although I believe I am a considerate and observant driver who enjoys the occasional touch of spirited driving (and have never gone anywhere near racing on the roads) the advice and experience of the BIBs on here has definitely had a beneficial effect on my driving. I drive about 20,000 miles a year and have had no points or claims for over 5 years. The thoughts I read on here congregate in my mind somewhere like a guilty conscience and I know I'm more aware of certain aspects of my driving as a result. It's not necessarily the stories that slap you in the face such as this one - don't discount the more subtle messages. 
Reg, hope you are having a better day today mate.
Someone once told me, "that the big bloke in the sky, only takes the good one young, the rest of us are left on this planet to fight and sometime struggle for however long he see's fit".
Have a good day, what ever you are doing this sunny August...
Mr F
Someone once told me, "that the big bloke in the sky, only takes the good one young, the rest of us are left on this planet to fight and sometime struggle for however long he see's fit".
Have a good day, what ever you are doing this sunny August...
Mr F
TheKeyboardDemon said:
I'll post this on to a few people I know who I feel could well be exactly like either the BMW or the cavalier driver in your story.
The really sad thing is that they will not realise it's about them. They will condemn the crap drivers, but assess their own abilities much higher. "They" aren't the dangerous ones - no one ever is.It's a pretty nasty story, but those affected the most by it will be those who genrally don't drive like it in the first place.
Shame really.
BFF
Hooking Bell.
They may just be words, a random collection of keypresses sent out into the ether but today Reg you have made a difference. Your eloquence has reached out & touched a fraternity of fellow motoring enthusiasts and will impact on behaviour.
Ok, we're a pretty self-selecting lot & by virtue of being interested in brum-brums, probably have a higher than usual number of skilled/advanced/call-it-what-you-will drivers amongst our ranks but there's no driver, young or old, skilled or novice who shouldn't read that tale & take something away from it.
That sort of tale does far more to improve road safety than any yellow box ever can, more to enhance road safety than any dry press release ever can. For that, your sister would be proud of you I'm sure.
Anyone reading that tale who didn't think "there but for the grace of God" has no imagination. In my youth, I spectacularly spun a little suzuki swift gti on a back road. Got away with it, no real damage to the car, very dented pride & a very scared onlooker. It was a real case of running way, way out of ability and even now, with more experience, better cars & the benefit of advanced tuition, I'd only take that series of bends at 60% of what I did on that day. When I looked at the skid marks and saw how close I'd come to a large tree...
So thank you Reg for telling the tale. Your style of writing is spot on & clearly written by a fellow entusiast - as the Major says, get the book published! Your tips on the advanced forum are devoured eagerly!
Best wishes & thoughts of your loss.
Duncan the PBF.
They may just be words, a random collection of keypresses sent out into the ether but today Reg you have made a difference. Your eloquence has reached out & touched a fraternity of fellow motoring enthusiasts and will impact on behaviour.
Ok, we're a pretty self-selecting lot & by virtue of being interested in brum-brums, probably have a higher than usual number of skilled/advanced/call-it-what-you-will drivers amongst our ranks but there's no driver, young or old, skilled or novice who shouldn't read that tale & take something away from it.
That sort of tale does far more to improve road safety than any yellow box ever can, more to enhance road safety than any dry press release ever can. For that, your sister would be proud of you I'm sure.
Anyone reading that tale who didn't think "there but for the grace of God" has no imagination. In my youth, I spectacularly spun a little suzuki swift gti on a back road. Got away with it, no real damage to the car, very dented pride & a very scared onlooker. It was a real case of running way, way out of ability and even now, with more experience, better cars & the benefit of advanced tuition, I'd only take that series of bends at 60% of what I did on that day. When I looked at the skid marks and saw how close I'd come to a large tree...
So thank you Reg for telling the tale. Your style of writing is spot on & clearly written by a fellow entusiast - as the Major says, get the book published! Your tips on the advanced forum are devoured eagerly!
Best wishes & thoughts of your loss.
Duncan the PBF.
Thanks once again for all your messages. The anniversary is always a difficult time, particularly for our mum, but she's ok and we've had a nice day in the decent weather today.
Skeggysteve, I'm sorry, but your stepson's accident was a little before my time - I didn't join the Police until 1990. If you're still having problems because of your experiences, then you should never be ashamed to seek out help or councelling. I went through a breakdown about 8 years after Jane's accident, mainly because of some deep-seated issues I hadn't dealt with at the time. I'd been so busy trying to get my parents through it that I forgot about myself and it came back to haunt me. A little councelling with an excellent specialist soon sorted out my thought processes and had me back on track.
To those of you who have suggested I write a book, well, I'm flattered. I'm not sure whether my ramblings would be good enough to make it into print, and I wouldn't have the slightest idea how to go about it, but maybe I'll give it some thought.
Skeggysteve, I'm sorry, but your stepson's accident was a little before my time - I didn't join the Police until 1990. If you're still having problems because of your experiences, then you should never be ashamed to seek out help or councelling. I went through a breakdown about 8 years after Jane's accident, mainly because of some deep-seated issues I hadn't dealt with at the time. I'd been so busy trying to get my parents through it that I forgot about myself and it came back to haunt me. A little councelling with an excellent specialist soon sorted out my thought processes and had me back on track.
To those of you who have suggested I write a book, well, I'm flattered. I'm not sure whether my ramblings would be good enough to make it into print, and I wouldn't have the slightest idea how to go about it, but maybe I'll give it some thought.
Edited by R_U_LOCAL on Wednesday 1st August 21:07
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