Spare a thought...
Discussion
Reg,
Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
Slaav said:
Reg,
Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
My suggestion was for a book based on Reg's excellent articles on advanced driving techniques... Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
R_U_LOCAL said:
Thanks once again for all your messages. The anniversary is always a difficult time, particularly for our mum, but she's ok and we've had a nice day in the decent weather today.
{/quote]
Anniversary always difficult - even years later. We still have great feelings of sadness when special days for Ferdl (victim of defective truck running into his car) & Rudi (died when a jumbo he travel on came down in the sea - big media story at time.)
But it does help to keep it open - no secret - being able to talk about it.
I also find myself "restless" - no - not right word - "on edge/edgy" on anniversary of what happen to me too. I still cannot drive on that part of the motorway even now.
It does help. Sometimes better "outside the family" too - though this family as you know - "bit on the large side" - able to help itself through black hole as well by supporting each other.
But.. boy racers ...
You say the road re-engineered with speed cams/cycle lanes..
But we still have the same mentality. The question should be
1. How do we deter? (Long bans/murder convictions as racing like that can never ever be regarded as accidental act. That ist deliberately engaged in.
2. How do we get across in first place that a
? 
Education help. Not sure if medics would want them getting in way in A&E - but if - only if - family of victims agree - the images of outcome used sensibly to educate could help.
Education to drive also help as does teaching manners/courtesy from birth - reinforced all the time by everyone
There also a book come onto market. Written by former GMP Police Traffic Officer/Police Trainer Alan Shurmer. He now teach "stars" of Man U/Bolton Wanderers/M City to drive properly as these clubs getting a bit sick of their stars misbehaving. Also they a bit too pricey to be allowed to write themselves off in a flash car as well - so ist a business thing too as far as these Clubs are concerned
But.. the guy has been into local schools. He has the right vernacular per sister-in-law teacher whose school has had him in to give seminar to their Year11/12/13s.
He has written a book similar to - but a little more aimed at the target mind-set than Haley's "Mind Driving".
It called "Mind How You Go" - available from Blackwell Publisher. It ist a really good read. recommended read
Finally Liebchen
I am sure your sister will be looking down on you und be extremely proud of you. I know I am.
{/quote]
Anniversary always difficult - even years later. We still have great feelings of sadness when special days for Ferdl (victim of defective truck running into his car) & Rudi (died when a jumbo he travel on came down in the sea - big media story at time.)
But it does help to keep it open - no secret - being able to talk about it.
I also find myself "restless" - no - not right word - "on edge/edgy" on anniversary of what happen to me too. I still cannot drive on that part of the motorway even now.
R_U_LOCAL said:
Skeggysteve, I'm sorry, but your stepson's accident was a little before my time - I didn't join the Police until 1990. If you're still having problems because of your experiences, then you should never be ashamed to seek out help or councelling. I went through a breakdown about 8 years after Jane's accident, mainly because of some deep-seated issues I hadn't dealt with at the time. I'd been so busy trying to get my parents through it that I forgot about myself and it came back to haunt me. A little councelling with an excellent specialist soon sorted out my thought processes and had me back on track.
It does help. Sometimes better "outside the family" too - though this family as you know - "bit on the large side" - able to help itself through black hole as well by supporting each other.But.. boy racers ...
You say the road re-engineered with speed cams/cycle lanes..
But we still have the same mentality. The question should be
1. How do we deter? (Long bans/murder convictions as racing like that can never ever be regarded as accidental act. That ist deliberately engaged in.
2. How do we get across in first place that a
? Education help. Not sure if medics would want them getting in way in A&E - but if - only if - family of victims agree - the images of outcome used sensibly to educate could help.
Education to drive also help as does teaching manners/courtesy from birth - reinforced all the time by everyone
There also a book come onto market. Written by former GMP Police Traffic Officer/Police Trainer Alan Shurmer. He now teach "stars" of Man U/Bolton Wanderers/M City to drive properly as these clubs getting a bit sick of their stars misbehaving. Also they a bit too pricey to be allowed to write themselves off in a flash car as well - so ist a business thing too as far as these Clubs are concerned
But.. the guy has been into local schools. He has the right vernacular per sister-in-law teacher whose school has had him in to give seminar to their Year11/12/13s.
He has written a book similar to - but a little more aimed at the target mind-set than Haley's "Mind Driving"
.It called "Mind How You Go" - available from Blackwell Publisher. It ist a really good read. recommended read
Finally Liebchen
I am sure your sister will be looking down on you und be extremely proud of you. I know I am. Major Bloodnok said:
Slaav said:
Reg,
Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
My suggestion was for a book based on Reg's excellent articles on advanced driving techniques... Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
postcode said:
Major Bloodnok said:
Slaav said:
Reg,
Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
My suggestion was for a book based on Reg's excellent articles on advanced driving techniques... Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
Very sad story and sorry for your loss. Definitely worth the time and effort you took to post it as if it just makes each of us have that extra moment of thought before making that choice to go for it there's a good chance it will prevent further hurt. I know we've probably all (I certainly have) had one of those moments that's a close one and you know fine well after that it was your own stupidity that could have caused something very serious.
postcode said:
Major Bloodnok said:
Slaav said:
Reg,
Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
My suggestion was for a book based on Reg's excellent articles on advanced driving techniques... Dont write a book. Dont even think about it.
Deal with what you have and deal with the future. You have done more than I would ever do in the circumstances. Get a grip. You have more than enough to hold on to and cope with. You have lucky parents and they should feel proud.
If we all had your self control and ability to explain, then I guess someone will try and 'trump' you. let's not go there,,,?
Pesonally, I dont think anything I ever read will have the same effect on me.
P
ps - Wont edit this as heart felt and genuine (with errors).
1. Highway Code
2. DSA: Driving - Essential Skills
3. Know Your Road Signs (all DSA publications)
3. Road Craft
4. Cycle Craft (This re-inforces COAST in action
and page 53 shows it in pictures ) 5. Mind Driving (Steve Haley)
6. Expert Driving (Paul Ripley)
7. Mind How You Go (Al Shurmer (ex Plod and ADI to Man U/Man City and Bolton's Wanderers and apparently young kids hang on to his every word
) 8. IAM - How to be an Advanced Driver/Motorcyclist
Plus all that Reg posts in Advanced Driving and which my own kids find most useful too
Hadn't seen this before Reg, as you say, hope this will make someone think twice who otherwise wouldn't.
Ever thought of sticking your Advanced Driving posts together on a PH Wiki? I think most people find your approach non-condescending, unpatronising, genuine and valuable and, rarely seen on PH, pretty uncontentious!
Cheers,
A
Ever thought of sticking your Advanced Driving posts together on a PH Wiki? I think most people find your approach non-condescending, unpatronising, genuine and valuable and, rarely seen on PH, pretty uncontentious!
Cheers,
A
R_U_LOCAL said:
scissorhands83 said:
would like her to learn the hard way and ring the BiB, but don't want it to go like that
Please do it Matt. You don't have to leave your details and the information will be treated seriously. Give them vehicle details and when she's most likely to be driving.If it prevents someone going through what my family went through, it'll be worth it.
One of my family members regularly drank, and dorve the car within hours of drinking, and obviously very drunk.
As much as it pained me to do it, i reported them to the police, 2 days later that family member was stopped, breathilised, and was found to be 3 times over the drink/drive limit.
They received a lifetime ban, this was put down to a combination of their age, and the fact the were alcoholics, who really did not have any control over their drinking.
Sounds a little harsh, but if that saves just 1 life, or indeed 1 injury, however minor or major, it was well worth the guilt of me reporting them.
R_U_LOCAL said:
scissorhands83 said:
would like her to learn the hard way and ring the BiB, but don't want it to go like that
Please do it Matt. You don't have to leave your details and the information will be treated seriously. Give them vehicle details and when she's most likely to be driving.If it prevents someone going through what my family went through, it'll be worth it.
Of course it didn't have anything to do with the fact that it was a CID BiB drink driver I suppose.
One quick phonecall to his Inspector and the information was taken. Whether they did anything with it is another matter of course.
XMG5 said:
R_U_LOCAL said:
scissorhands83 said:
would like her to learn the hard way and ring the BiB, but don't want it to go like that
Please do it Matt. You don't have to leave your details and the information will be treated seriously. Give them vehicle details and when she's most likely to be driving.If it prevents someone going through what my family went through, it'll be worth it.
Of course it didn't have anything to do with the fact that it was a CID BiB drink driver I suppose.
One quick phonecall to his Inspector and the information was taken. Whether they did anything with it is another matter of course.
I'll make sure it's passed on to the relevent departments and anonymity isn't a problem.
I know it's been a while since you originally posted it.
At the time I couldn't even think of a reply, I found it deeply upsetting, and I am sorry you had to go through with it.
I do however force myself to read it from time to time to stop myself riding like a prat, for that i thank you.
At the time I couldn't even think of a reply, I found it deeply upsetting, and I am sorry you had to go through with it.
I do however force myself to read it from time to time to stop myself riding like a prat, for that i thank you.
my wife lost her bro to an rta. He was 20. The other driver involved was just under the alcohol limit.
I have never been able to fully appreciate what they went through (I met my wife 4 years after) or are going through now but I can see that they are desperately sad.
my deepest sympathies RUL
I have never been able to fully appreciate what they went through (I met my wife 4 years after) or are going through now but I can see that they are desperately sad.
my deepest sympathies RUL
Hi, Im new to piston heads.....I was alerted to this topic via www.livicruise.co.uk
It was a hard message to read. Just last week ago a friend of mine was involved in a fatal RTA in livingston, motorbike VS car.
It was a hard message to read. Just last week ago a friend of mine was involved in a fatal RTA in livingston, motorbike VS car.
I read this very moving story yesterday, I couldnt bring myself to post anything then, I wanted to have time to think about whats been written, and to reflect on what might of been. As others have said, I can relate to the story and to being that type of "yoof" who goes speeding everywhere, to prove what I good driver I was, how nobody could keep up with me. Fortunately, I never had a car accident, either my fault or a third party but I soon learned that it wasnt through my skill behind the wheel. My attitude changed as I grew older, I no longer have to prove what I can (or cant) do with a vehicle. Yes I still give it a bit when I feel that conditions allow, when I feel comfortable doing it and I suspect like many on here, I feel that my driving is of a reasonable standard.
Reading this post yesterday has changed my perception again, so all credit to you R U L, you have certainly made a difference to this particular driver.
Thanks for sharing such a very emotional story.
Jamie
Reading this post yesterday has changed my perception again, so all credit to you R U L, you have certainly made a difference to this particular driver.
Thanks for sharing such a very emotional story.
Jamie
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