Drink Driving - a question!
Discussion
Brief bit of background info.
Ex-OH and I split up six years ago, had two kids together (twins, now age 10) and we live about three miles apart. I've been single since then, she has had a succession of relationships, the first of which was with a convicted drink driver who even drove (with my kids in the car)under his ban.
. Ever since then, she seems to have had a higher than normal dependency on alcohol.
Three months ago she had a bitter row with her latest bloke one night which ended up with him walking out, her getting pissed and falling down the stairs fracturing her cheekbone. She was taken to hospital, ambulance (or should that be ambiwlans) men not impressed with her self inflicted injuries, and returned home later that day swearing she wouldn't be seeing him again.
Obviously the inevitable happened and last night after seeing him again for a few weeks, another row and he walked out about midnight. She had "a drink" then decided it would be a good idea to drive over to his house (three miles or so). Ended up putting her car into a hedge or kerb and was then picked up by a passing motorist who took her home. Drank more alcohol then the police knocked on her door, breathalysed her and she was twice over the limit. Stuck in cells and released earlier this morning.
Police say that she is free to drive pending the sample being sent to forensics, I'm guessing to determine whether she was drunk before she drove or whether she imbibed later on while at home. They've told her it might be a couple of months before she hears, is this normal? Also, how accurate can the police be in finding out when she was actually drinking? She's worried about losing her licence obviously but will they be able to tell that precisely when the alcohol was drunk. As a timeline, I'd say she had 'a drink' about 1230 - 100, drove between 100 and 130 and was breathalysed at home around 200.
Sorry for the long post, I guess 99% of it is pointless but needed to get thoughts down on paper.
Ex-OH and I split up six years ago, had two kids together (twins, now age 10) and we live about three miles apart. I've been single since then, she has had a succession of relationships, the first of which was with a convicted drink driver who even drove (with my kids in the car)under his ban.
. Ever since then, she seems to have had a higher than normal dependency on alcohol.Three months ago she had a bitter row with her latest bloke one night which ended up with him walking out, her getting pissed and falling down the stairs fracturing her cheekbone. She was taken to hospital, ambulance (or should that be ambiwlans) men not impressed with her self inflicted injuries, and returned home later that day swearing she wouldn't be seeing him again.
Obviously the inevitable happened and last night after seeing him again for a few weeks, another row and he walked out about midnight. She had "a drink" then decided it would be a good idea to drive over to his house (three miles or so). Ended up putting her car into a hedge or kerb and was then picked up by a passing motorist who took her home. Drank more alcohol then the police knocked on her door, breathalysed her and she was twice over the limit. Stuck in cells and released earlier this morning.
Police say that she is free to drive pending the sample being sent to forensics, I'm guessing to determine whether she was drunk before she drove or whether she imbibed later on while at home. They've told her it might be a couple of months before she hears, is this normal? Also, how accurate can the police be in finding out when she was actually drinking? She's worried about losing her licence obviously but will they be able to tell that precisely when the alcohol was drunk. As a timeline, I'd say she had 'a drink' about 1230 - 100, drove between 100 and 130 and was breathalysed at home around 200.
Sorry for the long post, I guess 99% of it is pointless but needed to get thoughts down on paper.
ZOLLAR said:
I can't help and I don't mean any offense in this but I hope your Kids live with you.
No offence taken, Zollar, and thanks for your comment.
When we split up, I went for joint custody around the time that she was going out with the convicted DD. I failed in my application but did succeed in getting a PRO (Parental Responsibility Order) and access rights in writing (she's never infringed these at all - probably glad to get rid of them at weekends tbh). The kids go football training with me on Tuesdays (3.30pm - 4.30pm), I have them on Wednesdays from school end to 7.30pm and each weekend from school end on Friday until 5.00pm on Sunday but it would be great to have them full time.
It is crossing my mind about re-applying but I haven't got the mountain of money necessary, I'm afraid.
I can't believe how similar this situation seems when compared to that of one of my neighbours, only real difference being that his ex has fallen (whilst drunk) down her stairs on more than one occasion and (whilst drink driving) very nearly knocked my sister off her motorbike.
I know how hard he is finding the situation so you and your children have my best wishes.
I know how hard he is finding the situation so you and your children have my best wishes.
Smart Mart said:
Brief bit of background info.
The test for DD in such cases is whether she was over the limit at the time of driving. This is a 'mechanical' back-calculation. The stated cases make this a complex matter and I would suggest that a solicitor specialising in such matters may be able to advise.What it depends on to a great extent is the amount she said she drank after driving. Whilst it may have changed since I left the job, the stats used are a 'worst case' scenario, that's from a police point of view. So it gives a minimum.
I'd suggest that if she was 2 x over the limit then she'd have to drink a fair amount to get it to that level and as there was just 30 mins it would seem unlikely.
Slightly off topic: if someone is dependant then I'd be very concerned about leaving my kids in their care. A ban might be useful all round. Her best hope is that there was some procedural error. Your best hope is probably that there wasn't.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC136841...
May be of interest and give some idea of what they can do and accepted at Court
dvd
May be of interest and give some idea of what they can do and accepted at Court
dvd
Thanks for all your replies...
I'm rubbish at multi-quoting so I'll take the replies one by one.
Uncle Ric - thanks very much, I really appreciate your best wishes.
LeoSayer / SteveScooby - I have to take it at face value that he wasn't there when she fell down the stairs. The kids were still awake that night when she plummeted and none of them have mentioned it (she also has a 14-y-o daughter from a previous relationship).
Derek - thank you too for your information. I know what you are saying with your final comments. I feel really bad for thinking like this but maybe my best hope of getting full custody or shared residence is if she gets banned. The boys' school is about half a mile away but she always drives - I can't see her fancying the walk every day and the public transport isn't great either. I work from home with one day a week travelling to work an hour away so feel better suited for coping with them.
Edited to add: Just seen DVD's post as well, thank you. Some interesting reading there and I'll be looking through it after the school run! Cheers again.
I'm rubbish at multi-quoting so I'll take the replies one by one.
Uncle Ric - thanks very much, I really appreciate your best wishes.
LeoSayer / SteveScooby - I have to take it at face value that he wasn't there when she fell down the stairs. The kids were still awake that night when she plummeted and none of them have mentioned it (she also has a 14-y-o daughter from a previous relationship).
Derek - thank you too for your information. I know what you are saying with your final comments. I feel really bad for thinking like this but maybe my best hope of getting full custody or shared residence is if she gets banned. The boys' school is about half a mile away but she always drives - I can't see her fancying the walk every day and the public transport isn't great either. I work from home with one day a week travelling to work an hour away so feel better suited for coping with them.
Edited to add: Just seen DVD's post as well, thank you. Some interesting reading there and I'll be looking through it after the school run! Cheers again.
Edited by Smart Mart on Thursday 10th March 14:21
SteveScooby said:
A fractured cheek seems an odd injury to get by failing down! As for the drink driving it depends how much she told the officers she had to drink after driving and the timescales involved as to how accurate the back calculation is.
Yep.. punched is my instant reaction reading between the lines.Honestly, fair play to you for living 3 miles away and knowing what goes on..
No real update as yet. She's still waiting for her courtesy car as apparently her's is undriveable due to damage on the front wheels and bumper and is in the hands of the insurance company.
What is sadder to see is that she is back with her bloke now. I'm not sad because I have any feelings for her, more a case that when he's around, she's more likely to drink and get into trouble. I couldn't give a damn about how she is and what scrapes she wants to get into but when the kids are involved, that's my business.
No idea where to go now.... but certainly not going to have a drink, that's for sure.
What is sadder to see is that she is back with her bloke now.
I'm not sad because I have any feelings for her, more a case that when he's around, she's more likely to drink and get into trouble. I couldn't give a damn about how she is and what scrapes she wants to get into but when the kids are involved, that's my business.No idea where to go now.... but certainly not going to have a drink, that's for sure.
Time for action has arrived, I think. Just rung home as I usually do to say goodnight and their sister answered saying their mum was drunk in bed, hadn't picked them up from school and that she (her daughter) had collected them, given them tea,taken them to cubs and was bathing them tonight. All at fourteen years old.
I'm at work now and going round a little later but I think the time for a residency application has arrived. Don't want to do it but have no option.
I'm at work now and going round a little later but I think the time for a residency application has arrived. Don't want to do it but have no option.
Smart Mart said:
Time for action has arrived, I think. Just rung home as I usually do to say goodnight and their sister answered saying their mum was drunk in bed, hadn't picked them up from school and that she (her daughter) had collected them, given them tea,taken them to cubs and was bathing them tonight. All at fourteen years old.
I'm at work now and going round a little later but I think the time for a residency application has arrived. Don't want to do it but have no option.
Sad situation. Good luck I'm at work now and going round a little later but I think the time for a residency application has arrived. Don't want to do it but have no option.
Jeez, that must have been a horrible call to be on the end of. Fair play to the 14 y.o. for dealing with it but the bottom line is that she shouldn't have to be dealing with it.
Stuff like this makes me thankful for the life I have.
OP, it sounds like you know what you have to do. I admire your restraint thus far.
Stuff like this makes me thankful for the life I have.
OP, it sounds like you know what you have to do. I admire your restraint thus far.
All is peaceful now, the ex has just spoken saying she had a migraine earlier. Also says that she and her boyfriend have finished again and that this time it's for good.
Has also asked that I take the boys to school tomorrow morning (which I obviously will) and I'm due to have them tomorrow night as well after school till 8pm. I think I'll fire a speculative email off to the family solicitor that helped me get access and a PRO tomorrow and see what she says...
Has also asked that I take the boys to school tomorrow morning (which I obviously will) and I'm due to have them tomorrow night as well after school till 8pm. I think I'll fire a speculative email off to the family solicitor that helped me get access and a PRO tomorrow and see what she says...
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