Drink Driving - a question!
Discussion
Tyre Smoke said:
Indeed, echo all that everyone else has posted. Very well done, for the patience and keeping your temper under very trying circumstances.
I hope it all works out well for you. Remember, this entire thread is an excellent diarised version of events too.
Thanks TS. I have posted on here and another website since it all began and it has provided a great reminder of dates, times and emotions along the way. I'll be filling in the RO application form tomorrow and both threads will help me get the facts straight which will be absolutely vital as time goes on.I hope it all works out well for you. Remember, this entire thread is an excellent diarised version of events too.
Took my time to read the whole thread as it unfolded, and all I can say is Well done, I have a lot of respect for you for dealing with this protracted saga in a rational manner. It cannot be easy if I am to be honest with you.
Thank you for taking the time to update us even if the situation has been less than happy in the first place but I am glad that things are going in your favour.
Best wishes
Exo
Thank you for taking the time to update us even if the situation has been less than happy in the first place but I am glad that things are going in your favour.
Best wishes
Exo
Just read this start to finish, happy to see things have come round in your favour for the sake of your sons and to a degree her daughter to have someone else there for her. Not been in this situation myself but as a parent can only imagine what you must have been through. Best of luck with the RO application. I'm impressed with your patience and the levels of thought before action to ensure that you "do the right thing".
Just got back from the six-monthly Child Protection conference involving both schools, both parents, social workers, police and a chairman.
ETA: Ex and her daughter didn't show up.
Headline news is that the twins have been taken off the Child Protection plan. It's indicative of the Children's Services attitude on how I've looked after them that they believe there is no need to keep an eye on how they're being looked after by me. There will still be a line of communication opened between the social worker and I but she will be completing her final visit in the next few weeks.
Ex's daughter will stay on the plan for at least another three months until the next conference. This is absolutely vital as she is having a rough time of it from her up-and-down mum; there was an occasion in the last month where apparently her Mum broke down her door during an argument. Yet on Saturday, her Mum went and bought her a kitten....
Stated my intention to go for a residence order to the chairman prior to the meeting and he has fully backed me as have Childrens Services too. No sign yet of payment so I will continue to work out finances and go for it once it is sorted out.
Thanks again for all your comments. This thread has been a huge pressure release valve in recent weeks and months.
ETA: Ex and her daughter didn't show up.
Headline news is that the twins have been taken off the Child Protection plan. It's indicative of the Children's Services attitude on how I've looked after them that they believe there is no need to keep an eye on how they're being looked after by me. There will still be a line of communication opened between the social worker and I but she will be completing her final visit in the next few weeks.
Ex's daughter will stay on the plan for at least another three months until the next conference. This is absolutely vital as she is having a rough time of it from her up-and-down mum; there was an occasion in the last month where apparently her Mum broke down her door during an argument. Yet on Saturday, her Mum went and bought her a kitten....
Stated my intention to go for a residence order to the chairman prior to the meeting and he has fully backed me as have Childrens Services too. No sign yet of payment so I will continue to work out finances and go for it once it is sorted out.
Thanks again for all your comments. This thread has been a huge pressure release valve in recent weeks and months.
It took me an hour to read the whole thread, Very glad i did. It makes my situation of family law and contact look trivial.
The way you have dealt with everything is inspirational. I genuinely hope that your boys (and ex's daughter) can finally get some sort of normality and stability for the future whether that is with you solely or with both you and a dry ex.
My greatest respect for you!
ATB
Mike
The way you have dealt with everything is inspirational. I genuinely hope that your boys (and ex's daughter) can finally get some sort of normality and stability for the future whether that is with you solely or with both you and a dry ex.
My greatest respect for you!
ATB
Mike
Smart Mart said:
The latest update.
Glad to hear things are working out well for your sons and your good self 
. I'm a bit concerned about her daughter's situation though, but she seems to know you are there for her - must be an incredibly difficult situation for her
.Keep up the good work - and keep the updates coming, we are rooting for you
.Forwarded on a text from the school to ex at dinnertime (boys are on camp and school texts an update every day) only to be met with "f*** off".
After trying to find out why the abuse, eventually told me she'd received the social services report that was presented at the meeting on Tuesday (the meeting she didn't attend!). Texted daughter who has just got back from her dads and found her mum in a hell of a state. After sharing texts with her, and offering her a refuge for a bit, she is staying as she thinks it will make things worse. And she doesn't want to leave the kitten alone with her Mum....
And now I've had a text saying she's going to kill herself and its what I've always wanted.
This is never going to end, is it?
After trying to find out why the abuse, eventually told me she'd received the social services report that was presented at the meeting on Tuesday (the meeting she didn't attend!). Texted daughter who has just got back from her dads and found her mum in a hell of a state. After sharing texts with her, and offering her a refuge for a bit, she is staying as she thinks it will make things worse. And she doesn't want to leave the kitten alone with her Mum....
And now I've had a text saying she's going to kill herself and its what I've always wanted.
This is never going to end, is it?
Just read this thread in full, Smart Mart you deserve a medal for holding it together through thick and thin, especially in the interest of the kids, great stuff. Also sorry to say it but I can't help thinking the Ex is going to self-destruct at some point, not good.
Good work, keep it up, and use PH if it helps.
Good work, keep it up, and use PH if it helps.
I've followed this thread for a long time but never contributed to it. The main reason has been because it's an intensely private thread and I didn't want to intrude but your last post changed that. Although I can't speak for others I suspect there are many who have followed your trials and tribulations but have kept quiet for their own reasons but I think it's important for you to know there are people out here in PH land who read and wish you well.
Speaking for myself, what impresses me is your resilience. You're clearly not doing all this for yourself but for the people in your life who matter and that's why you keep on going. I guess you're right to a certain extent, it's never going to end but how far you've come and the clarity with which you describe the events shows that your shoulder's are broad enough for what you have to carry. You appear to meet it all with good humour and a sense of purpose and direction that is inspiring.
I'm not a spiritual type of person but I heard something a while back that resonated. The challenges in life that are put in front of you are there precisely because you are tough enough. They are there to help you, and perhaps those around you, to grow. Life is challenging for a reason. The strength of character you've shown the children is something that will always be with them whether they know it consciously or not and it will make their lives better in ways you'll probably never even realise.
Keep up the fight and know that there are many people out there who've followed your progress and if they're anything like me wish we could help in some way beyond thinking 'damn he's a good man'.
Speaking for myself, what impresses me is your resilience. You're clearly not doing all this for yourself but for the people in your life who matter and that's why you keep on going. I guess you're right to a certain extent, it's never going to end but how far you've come and the clarity with which you describe the events shows that your shoulder's are broad enough for what you have to carry. You appear to meet it all with good humour and a sense of purpose and direction that is inspiring.
I'm not a spiritual type of person but I heard something a while back that resonated. The challenges in life that are put in front of you are there precisely because you are tough enough. They are there to help you, and perhaps those around you, to grow. Life is challenging for a reason. The strength of character you've shown the children is something that will always be with them whether they know it consciously or not and it will make their lives better in ways you'll probably never even realise.
Keep up the fight and know that there are many people out there who've followed your progress and if they're anything like me wish we could help in some way beyond thinking 'damn he's a good man'.
Well we're now off and running.
Have borrowed the £200 court fee, made four copies of the application form and have just returned from dropping them into the County Court this morning. The court lady said I should have a date within a week, for probably a month or so's time.
Feel better already, thanks again for all of your help.
Have borrowed the £200 court fee, made four copies of the application form and have just returned from dropping them into the County Court this morning. The court lady said I should have a date within a week, for probably a month or so's time.
Feel better already, thanks again for all of your help.
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