Drink Driving - a question!
Discussion
toxicated said:
I've followed this thread for a long time but never contributed to it. The main reason has been because it's an intensely private thread and I didn't want to intrude but your last post changed that. Although I can't speak for others I suspect there are many who have followed your trials and tribulations but have kept quiet for their own reasons but I think it's important for you to know there are people out here in PH land who read and wish you well.
Speaking for myself, what impresses me is your resilience. You're clearly not doing all this for yourself but for the people in your life who matter and that's why you keep on going. I guess you're right to a certain extent, it's never going to end but how far you've come and the clarity with which you describe the events shows that your shoulder's are broad enough for what you have to carry. You appear to meet it all with good humour and a sense of purpose and direction that is inspiring.
I'm not a spiritual type of person but I heard something a while back that resonated. The challenges in life that are put in front of you are there precisely because you are tough enough. They are there to help you, and perhaps those around you, to grow. Life is challenging for a reason. The strength of character you've shown the children is something that will always be with them whether they know it consciously or not and it will make their lives better in ways you'll probably never even realise.
Keep up the fight and know that there are many people out there who've followed your progress and if they're anything like me wish we could help in some way beyond thinking 'damn he's a good man'.
+1Speaking for myself, what impresses me is your resilience. You're clearly not doing all this for yourself but for the people in your life who matter and that's why you keep on going. I guess you're right to a certain extent, it's never going to end but how far you've come and the clarity with which you describe the events shows that your shoulder's are broad enough for what you have to carry. You appear to meet it all with good humour and a sense of purpose and direction that is inspiring.
I'm not a spiritual type of person but I heard something a while back that resonated. The challenges in life that are put in front of you are there precisely because you are tough enough. They are there to help you, and perhaps those around you, to grow. Life is challenging for a reason. The strength of character you've shown the children is something that will always be with them whether they know it consciously or not and it will make their lives better in ways you'll probably never even realise.
Keep up the fight and know that there are many people out there who've followed your progress and if they're anything like me wish we could help in some way beyond thinking 'damn he's a good man'.
Smart Mart said:
Well we're now off and running.
Have borrowed the £200 court fee, made four copies of the application form and have just returned from dropping them into the County Court this morning. The court lady said I should have a date within a week, for probably a month or so's time.
Feel better already, thanks again for all of your help.
Keep up the good work, and let us know how things progress Have borrowed the £200 court fee, made four copies of the application form and have just returned from dropping them into the County Court this morning. The court lady said I should have a date within a week, for probably a month or so's time.
Feel better already, thanks again for all of your help.
.As I said earlier this year, it's like eating an elephant - in small chunks and not trying to consume the whole thing at once
.And - Good Luck
.
GreatGranny said:
Shoot me down if you want but would anyone be interested in donating to Smart Mart's legal costs. I know in the past PHers have been very generous.
It's very kind of you to offer but I've already settled up (with great help) for the application fees and once a date has been set, I can get back in contact with a free-to-use solicitor that is based at the local university. It shouldn't cost anything more from now on....but your suggestions is exceptionally kind.Thanks to all who have posted since the last update.
The court date came through today... Monday 13th August at 10am in a hearing lasting around thirty minutes.
Have spoken to the local "free-to-use" solicitors this afternoon and they seem confident they can get me a university barrister despite it being the holidays.
Onwards and upwards, summer holidays are here now.
The court date came through today... Monday 13th August at 10am in a hearing lasting around thirty minutes.
Have spoken to the local "free-to-use" solicitors this afternoon and they seem confident they can get me a university barrister despite it being the holidays.
Onwards and upwards, summer holidays are here now.
Smart Mart said:
Have spoken to the local "free-to-use" solicitors this afternoon and they seem confident they can get me a university barrister despite it being the
I respect your thoughts about using the free legal professionals so please just take this as an alternative thought; nothing more. How about posting a thread for those who know about these things as to whether a paid-for solicitor would make much difference.
You've come so far and an experienced solicitor may be able to spot a potential issue or tie up a loose end that would otherwise go unnoticed. They get paid good money for a reason and may be able to give those you care for greater protection. A quick thread would answer those questions.
There's nothing to lose by doing this. You could get a quote on the costs and see whether PHers would stump up on a Just Giving type site before committing to it.
Thanks again for your messages.
Court hearing didn't go very well today, sadly. The judge said that she doesn't see any reason why she should award residence to me as their Mum hasn't threatened to take them away from me. She asked their Mum to state that she wouldn't do that and although I expressed my belief that a RO was the best way forward, she decided not to pursue any further.
She wasn't even interested to read any reports from CAFCASS or the Children's Services. This was only a directions hearing but if the matter had gone further, both those organisations would have had to supply paperwork.
As part of the process, I had to fill in an extensive form and photocopy it for their Mum and the court as well as a copy for myself. Yet their Mum turned up today with her counter-response and neither I or the judge could see what she had written... judge wasn't too impressed.
So that's it. The boys are off the Child Protection plan now so Children's Services won't be around any more. Feel so desperately disappointed in myself too... maybe I should have waited until I could have afforded a solicitor as maybe they would have argued my case more than meek-and-mild me.
Court hearing didn't go very well today, sadly. The judge said that she doesn't see any reason why she should award residence to me as their Mum hasn't threatened to take them away from me. She asked their Mum to state that she wouldn't do that and although I expressed my belief that a RO was the best way forward, she decided not to pursue any further.
She wasn't even interested to read any reports from CAFCASS or the Children's Services. This was only a directions hearing but if the matter had gone further, both those organisations would have had to supply paperwork.
As part of the process, I had to fill in an extensive form and photocopy it for their Mum and the court as well as a copy for myself. Yet their Mum turned up today with her counter-response and neither I or the judge could see what she had written... judge wasn't too impressed.
So that's it. The boys are off the Child Protection plan now so Children's Services won't be around any more. Feel so desperately disappointed in myself too... maybe I should have waited until I could have afforded a solicitor as maybe they would have argued my case more than meek-and-mild me.
I am so sad to hear this Mart.
Absolutely gutting.
Is there any leave for appeal?
How on earth is it possible that an incredibly dangerous mother (such as one described on these pages) can be allowed to keep innocent kids just by promising not to prevent paternal access.
Utterly fricking disgusted with the legal system right now.
If she were a single mother I would like to think that social services would have stepped in and helped these kids by removing them from her AGES ago - EVEN WITHOUT A DOTING DAD HAPPY TO LOOK AFTER THEM.
Christ alive - this is just fricking depressing.
So sorry again.
Absolutely gutting.
Is there any leave for appeal?
How on earth is it possible that an incredibly dangerous mother (such as one described on these pages) can be allowed to keep innocent kids just by promising not to prevent paternal access.
Utterly fricking disgusted with the legal system right now.
If she were a single mother I would like to think that social services would have stepped in and helped these kids by removing them from her AGES ago - EVEN WITHOUT A DOTING DAD HAPPY TO LOOK AFTER THEM.
Christ alive - this is just fricking depressing.
So sorry again.
.hornetrider said:
What - so they go back to the mother now? After everything that's happened?
No HR, they will stay with me until such time as their Mum goes for a residence order herself. They've been with me since December 29th last year so really nothing changes... it would have just been nice to get some legal confirmation that she isn't going to try to get them back.Realistically she can't have them back now anyway as she's moved to a 2 bed flat where she has one room and her daughter has another. She was planning on sleeping on the sofa if and when the boys wanted to start staying overnight now and again but they are showing no signs of wanting to go back even temporarily.
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