Drink Driving - a question!
Discussion
So it was two years ago today that the little men left their mum's house and came to live with me. They'd stayed at mine over the weekend but when things blew up on New Years Day, they returned home with me and have never stayed overnight since.
What have the two years brought? Well, first the bad stuff. Lots of heartache, a Child Protection Plan was set up, hundreds of abusive texts, many long drawn out nasty phone calls and her daughter coming, going, coming again and going again. Really hard financially at times, a failed residency case and dozens of occasions where she hasn't had the boys when she's meant to.... . She has also just finished a relationship with a guy who was sixteen years older than her who was married! She met him when she was working via Adultwork (don't Google it, it's basically prostitution!)......
..... but on the good side, the boys are happy. Their transition from primary to secondary school has gone really well and they remain in the "gifted and talented" group who currently attend the local Uni on a six week Mathematics course. They have made lots of new friends there too. They now have their own bedrooms now which meant I lost my office but such is life, they needed their own space and they're happier now.
The twins still love their football, playing and watching and we got a table tennis table for Christmas and they've shown a real talent for that now. They have a wonderful relationship with my older two children (now 22 and 18) and see them several times a year.
They see their Mum fairly regularly nowadays but it still goes in fits and starts. November was a bad month where she missed four or five times when she was meant to have them in a row. But right now, she's seen them four times running on the correct days.
Her daughter is still doing A levels at sixth form and working in a local fashion store. I still give her lifts now and again when Mum is drunk but we maintained contact through it all.
I got my book published in November and all 500 limited edition copies were sold before the book was printed which was better than I had hoped. I got a fixed fee for the job so sadly no bonus now the book is being reprinted but there you go.
Other than that, all is quiet. Work is busy with a second book on the drawing board plus I'm doing more website administration work nowadays and I've also started working for a second football club doing their media and commercial management. I'm planning to get involved with a local nature reserve who are trying to get an environmental project under their control which might mean I can rent a free office within the reserve as a result of my work. This would be fantastic but wouldn't happen much before next Christmas.
Thanks for all your comments. I've loved nearly every minute of these past two years and I hope the three of us stay this happy for a lot longer yet.
Martin
What have the two years brought? Well, first the bad stuff. Lots of heartache, a Child Protection Plan was set up, hundreds of abusive texts, many long drawn out nasty phone calls and her daughter coming, going, coming again and going again. Really hard financially at times, a failed residency case and dozens of occasions where she hasn't had the boys when she's meant to.... . She has also just finished a relationship with a guy who was sixteen years older than her who was married! She met him when she was working via Adultwork (don't Google it, it's basically prostitution!)......
..... but on the good side, the boys are happy. Their transition from primary to secondary school has gone really well and they remain in the "gifted and talented" group who currently attend the local Uni on a six week Mathematics course. They have made lots of new friends there too. They now have their own bedrooms now which meant I lost my office but such is life, they needed their own space and they're happier now.
The twins still love their football, playing and watching and we got a table tennis table for Christmas and they've shown a real talent for that now. They have a wonderful relationship with my older two children (now 22 and 18) and see them several times a year.
They see their Mum fairly regularly nowadays but it still goes in fits and starts. November was a bad month where she missed four or five times when she was meant to have them in a row. But right now, she's seen them four times running on the correct days.
Her daughter is still doing A levels at sixth form and working in a local fashion store. I still give her lifts now and again when Mum is drunk but we maintained contact through it all.
I got my book published in November and all 500 limited edition copies were sold before the book was printed which was better than I had hoped. I got a fixed fee for the job so sadly no bonus now the book is being reprinted but there you go.
Other than that, all is quiet. Work is busy with a second book on the drawing board plus I'm doing more website administration work nowadays and I've also started working for a second football club doing their media and commercial management. I'm planning to get involved with a local nature reserve who are trying to get an environmental project under their control which might mean I can rent a free office within the reserve as a result of my work. This would be fantastic but wouldn't happen much before next Christmas.
Thanks for all your comments. I've loved nearly every minute of these past two years and I hope the three of us stay this happy for a lot longer yet.
Martin
Just read this from start to finish. You really are a credit to parents and the human race in general. Speaking as one of the lovely chaps who tends to go round and deal with situations like this in the emergency/reassurance category, I completely understand how frustrated, angry and upset you must have got with her behaviour. Completely irresponsible, it's lucky you have been around and utterly committed to giving them a loving, stable home. Far too many cases like this go the wrong way- the judge's ruling you mentioned really hacked me off. Hats off to you for not giving up. 
, thanks for keeping us informed - and well done on getting yourself and the boys (and the boys' mother's daughter) through this in good shape 
.Still going here, normally update around Christmas time but thought I'd go early this time.
Boys started Year 9 at secondary school last week. Both doing well at school and among the brightest in the year. They both did a six week course at UWE earlier this year for gifted and talented mathematicians and loved it; I can see a career as an accountant for one and a journalist for the other. They'll be fourteen in November, crazy to think they were ten when this thread started...
The daughter (now 18) has left sixth form now with some great exam results in her A Levels and in a way, I am so proud of her and the boys for not letting all the crap affect their schooling. She finishes work at the fashion shop this weekend and is going travelling with some friends for the next twelve months. She passed her driving test third time lucky and she's turning into a great little adult!
Mum? Probably best not to ask. Suffice to say that things are looking tough at the moment for her. Saw the boys five times during the seven weeks of summer holidays, missing 75% of the times she was meant to see them. Still drinks, has made no effort to rebuild her life through rehab or counselling and if anything is getting worse. Had a phone call from her daughter last night saying that yesterday, her mum slept with a local well known "bad guy" and got paid £200 for it. "Bad guy" saw some pictures of the daughter and asked the mum if she'd be prepared to sleep with him for £200 as well so Mum actually asked her!! Pimping her daughter out is a new low, I think. Daughter thinks I should probably make it supervised visits only from now on.
As for me? I'm good. Lost six stone last year (planned) but put five stone of it back on (not planned). Taken over as secretary of my local football club, started a second under-14's youth football team up and continue to keep busy. Had a date earlier in the summer but not sure I'm ready time-wise to get into a relationship. One of the young boys who's joined the football team has a yummy mummy who would be perfect but it's early days yet ha ha. Happy working from home and boys are happy too which is the main thing.
Will sign off now but thanks once more for all the support you gave us over the past 3.5 years. It meant, and still means a lot, conidering you're all internet strangers!
Boys started Year 9 at secondary school last week. Both doing well at school and among the brightest in the year. They both did a six week course at UWE earlier this year for gifted and talented mathematicians and loved it; I can see a career as an accountant for one and a journalist for the other. They'll be fourteen in November, crazy to think they were ten when this thread started...
The daughter (now 18) has left sixth form now with some great exam results in her A Levels and in a way, I am so proud of her and the boys for not letting all the crap affect their schooling. She finishes work at the fashion shop this weekend and is going travelling with some friends for the next twelve months. She passed her driving test third time lucky and she's turning into a great little adult!
Mum? Probably best not to ask. Suffice to say that things are looking tough at the moment for her. Saw the boys five times during the seven weeks of summer holidays, missing 75% of the times she was meant to see them. Still drinks, has made no effort to rebuild her life through rehab or counselling and if anything is getting worse. Had a phone call from her daughter last night saying that yesterday, her mum slept with a local well known "bad guy" and got paid £200 for it. "Bad guy" saw some pictures of the daughter and asked the mum if she'd be prepared to sleep with him for £200 as well so Mum actually asked her!! Pimping her daughter out is a new low, I think. Daughter thinks I should probably make it supervised visits only from now on.
As for me? I'm good. Lost six stone last year (planned) but put five stone of it back on (not planned). Taken over as secretary of my local football club, started a second under-14's youth football team up and continue to keep busy. Had a date earlier in the summer but not sure I'm ready time-wise to get into a relationship. One of the young boys who's joined the football team has a yummy mummy who would be perfect but it's early days yet ha ha. Happy working from home and boys are happy too which is the main thing.
Will sign off now but thanks once more for all the support you gave us over the past 3.5 years. It meant, and still means a lot, conidering you're all internet strangers!
GloverMart said:
her mum slept with a local well known "bad guy" and got paid £200 for it. "Bad guy" saw some pictures of the daughter and asked the mum if she'd be prepared to sleep with him for £200 as well so Mum actually asked her!! Pimping her daughter out is a new low, I think. :
Glad you and the children are doing well. The above though, 
GloverMart said:
SHad a phone call from her daughter last night saying that yesterday, her mum slept with a local well known "bad guy" and got paid £200 for it. "Bad guy" saw some pictures of the daughter and asked the mum if she'd be prepared to sleep with him for £200 as well so Mum actually asked her!! Pimping her daughter out is a new low, I think. Daughter thinks I should probably make it supervised visits only from now on.
Isn't this something for the local child protection team - assuming the daughter is over 18, the other kids aren't?Vaud said:
GloverMart said:
SHad a phone call from her daughter last night saying that yesterday, her mum slept with a local well known "bad guy" and got paid £200 for it. "Bad guy" saw some pictures of the daughter and asked the mum if she'd be prepared to sleep with him for £200 as well so Mum actually asked her!! Pimping her daughter out is a new low, I think. Daughter thinks I should probably make it supervised visits only from now on.
Isn't this something for the local child protection team - assuming the daughter is over 18, the other kids aren't?
) are thriving, and you seem to be doing fine as well i had a mate who we all thought was drinking too much, but it in fact turned out to be the wife that had the drinking problem.
he could have walked away and they did live apart (because of work mainly), but he stuck with her through the bad times. he was a star for her and the kids like you've been.
it ended sadly as she died from the alcohol abuse, but due to my mate being so strong, the kids are still thriving and at uni and 6th form both doing well.
i've not read the whole thread, i'm going to go back and read it now, but despite this, i doubt that i could have dealt with the same issues in my life half as well as you have.
good work fella!
he could have walked away and they did live apart (because of work mainly), but he stuck with her through the bad times. he was a star for her and the kids like you've been.
it ended sadly as she died from the alcohol abuse, but due to my mate being so strong, the kids are still thriving and at uni and 6th form both doing well.
i've not read the whole thread, i'm going to go back and read it now, but despite this, i doubt that i could have dealt with the same issues in my life half as well as you have.
good work fella!
I've just read this from start to finish and I must say that you remind me of my Dad when him and my mum split when I was 13. All he did for 6 months after she left was try to keep me on the straight and narrow, with varying degrees of efficiency. I did go off a little bit at the worse time possible, when my exams were going when I was in year 9 which wasn't good.
My experience wasn't as bad (with the alcohol) but being 13 I knew exactly what was going on and my "mother" blamed everything she could for leaving Dad which included me, cancer, him, my (not hers) sister, when in reality she wanted to be with someone else. She was also about as good at coming over as what First Bristol are at being punctual, she was dreadful, constantly not turning up and doing everything she can to de-convince me to go over.
What I'm basically saying is that although your twins will never forget about it, they'll move on. I can still remember being sat in the exam hall when I was doing my GCSE's and I can remember putting that extra 10 or 20% in so I can show my "mother" that this is what I achieved without her, in-spite of the upheavel and mess she left behind. I ended up with A*'s. B's and C's so obviously something worked.
I saw her in town the other day. I had my Fiancée on my arm (and even I'll admit I'm punching way above my weight!) and I had a fairly nice, fairly new car parked out front. All I said to her was "Was it really worth it?" as she is missing out on not only mine, but my nieces and nephews lives too.
You are a role model to them, just like my Dad is to me. There aren't enough people like you left in the world. I applaud you sir!
My experience wasn't as bad (with the alcohol) but being 13 I knew exactly what was going on and my "mother" blamed everything she could for leaving Dad which included me, cancer, him, my (not hers) sister, when in reality she wanted to be with someone else. She was also about as good at coming over as what First Bristol are at being punctual, she was dreadful, constantly not turning up and doing everything she can to de-convince me to go over.
What I'm basically saying is that although your twins will never forget about it, they'll move on. I can still remember being sat in the exam hall when I was doing my GCSE's and I can remember putting that extra 10 or 20% in so I can show my "mother" that this is what I achieved without her, in-spite of the upheavel and mess she left behind. I ended up with A*'s. B's and C's so obviously something worked.
I saw her in town the other day. I had my Fiancée on my arm (and even I'll admit I'm punching way above my weight!) and I had a fairly nice, fairly new car parked out front. All I said to her was "Was it really worth it?" as she is missing out on not only mine, but my nieces and nephews lives too.
You are a role model to them, just like my Dad is to me. There aren't enough people like you left in the world. I applaud you sir!
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