Waitrose punch up Southend on Sea

Waitrose punch up Southend on Sea

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PositronicRay

Original Poster:

27,012 posts

183 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
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Orchid1

878 posts

108 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
quotequote all
As soon as something is being offered for free people immediately descend into this type of behavior....


Ste1987

1,798 posts

106 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
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PositronicRay said:
I thought this was a real article. As I read it, I thought it read like satire, then I realised it was satire.

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

233 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
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I have found my new favorite rag:-

Southend News Network said:
After a bit of pushing and shoving, a man in a The North Face waterproof jacket threw a punch at another man in a Cotton Traders rugby jersey, and two ladies were trying to strangle each other with hemp-based ethical carrier bags. It was like a scene from Platoon or something like that.’
Southend News Network said:
but by this stage a 74-year-old man had already been knocked unconscious with a 9kg Serrano ham and chopping block
Southend News Network said:
If any of our UK stores experience further incidents of mindless violence over on-site hot drinks facilities, we will be left with no other option, and we will take a very firm approach against anyone rolling up their complimentary copy of The Mail On Sunday and using it as an offensive weapon.’
With copy like that i don't even care that it isn't true!! hehe

TTwiggy

11,538 posts

204 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
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It's like someone has read the Daily Mash and then had a stab at doing their own version - except they forgot to include any humour.

StevieBee

12,888 posts

255 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
quotequote all
TTwiggy said:
It's like someone has read the Daily Mash and then had a stab at doing their own version - except they forgot to include any humour.
The humour is in the numbers of people who don't yet know it's a spoof news site and the subsequent comments they make.

danllama

5,728 posts

142 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
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I fell for this recently too and posted an article about the m25 becoming a toll road. People laughed.

I'm stupid.

Baryonyx

17,996 posts

159 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
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TTwiggy said:
It's like someone has read the Daily Mash and then had a stab at doing their own version - except they forgot to include any humour.
This. What a load of dreck.

INWB

896 posts

107 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
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Dreadful. It makes you wonder what life would be like if we suffered real hardship. Our supermarkets after all now run such incredible logistic operations that the shelves would be empty within a few days.

People are strange. I have seen people queue for half an hour to get a fun sized can of coca cola. How can that be explained?

When I see stuff like this I am glad I have a storeroom with all basics for a month in it.

pincher

8,558 posts

217 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
quotequote all
There's a cracking story on there about a dog humping a tree in front of some kids and being put on the Sex Offenders Register - got loads of shares locally on Facebook apparently.

I've never actually facepalmed but I came very close when people were recounting it as a true story rolleyes

Edit - link to 'story' http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/anger-as-famil...

s3fella

10,524 posts

187 months

Wednesday 4th May 2016
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At as funny as cock cancer

Mr_B

10,480 posts

243 months

Thursday 5th May 2016
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Wacky news sites are dire. The Daily Mash became unfunny two days after it started.

anonymous-user

54 months

Thursday 5th May 2016
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INWB said:
Dreadful. It makes you wonder what life would be like if we suffered real hardship. Our supermarkets after all now run such incredible logistic operations that the shelves would be empty within a few days.

People are strange. I have seen people queue for half an hour to get a fun sized can of coca cola. How can that be explained?

When I see stuff like this I am glad I have a storeroom with all basics for a month in it.
Er.

Parrot?

Oakey

27,566 posts

216 months

Thursday 5th May 2016
quotequote all
TTwiggy said:
It's like someone has read the Daily Mash and then had a stab at doing their own version - except they forgot to include any humour.
Are you the editor of the Mash twiggy?

PositronicRay

Original Poster:

27,012 posts

183 months

Thursday 5th May 2016
quotequote all
OpulentBob said:
INWB said:
Dreadful. It makes you wonder what life would be like if we suffered real hardship. Our supermarkets after all now run such incredible logistic operations that the shelves would be empty within a few days.

People are strange. I have seen people queue for half an hour to get a fun sized can of coca cola. How can that be explained?

When I see stuff like this I am glad I have a storeroom with all basics for a month in it.
Er.

Parrot?
Not sure who requires the Parrot here?

anonymous-user

54 months

Thursday 5th May 2016
quotequote all
PositronicRay said:
OpulentBob said:
INWB said:
Dreadful. It makes you wonder what life would be like if we suffered real hardship. Our supermarkets after all now run such incredible logistic operations that the shelves would be empty within a few days.

People are strange. I have seen people queue for half an hour to get a fun sized can of coca cola. How can that be explained?

When I see stuff like this I am glad I have a storeroom with all basics for a month in it.
Er.

Parrot?
Not sure who requires the Parrot here?
confused

INWB seems to take the story at face value... Ipso facto ergo sum the parrot was for INWB. You can have one too, though.

PositronicRay

Original Poster:

27,012 posts

183 months

Thursday 5th May 2016
quotequote all
OpulentBob said:
PositronicRay said:
OpulentBob said:
INWB said:
Dreadful. It makes you wonder what life would be like if we suffered real hardship. Our supermarkets after all now run such incredible logistic operations that the shelves would be empty within a few days.

People are strange. I have seen people queue for half an hour to get a fun sized can of coca cola. How can that be explained?

When I see stuff like this I am glad I have a storeroom with all basics for a month in it.
Er.

Parrot?
Not sure who requires the Parrot here?
confused

INWB seems to take the story at face value... Ipso facto ergo sum the parrot was for INWB. You can have one too, though.
Not irony then?