The Wing'd Horse of ChavTat
Discussion
Dibble said:
Thank you Mrs F.
You wouldn't beleieve the drop in temperature chez Dibble yeterday night when Mrs D returned from work to find the place in exactly the same state as when she'd left...
I need to (a) spend a bit less time on PH, or (b) buy her some sort of "sorry I didn't do any domestic chores" type of gift...
Been there, done that, got the divorce papers... (though with me it was cars)... 
But (un)fortuneately, I'm out of the country at the moment. TatFinance.com
Debts spiralling? Ballooning interest payments on vast hordes of chav-tat? Consolidate your debts into one manageable, monthly payment with tatfinance.com.
With Christmas approaching, we all know how stretched finances can become. One payment after another. Fact: Store-cards from the likes of House of Charver can have interest rates of over 21%. With tatfinance.com you don't just get a low introductory rate, you get a chavtastic 12.9% throughout the lifetime of your repayments. That's less. Even without passing your Maths O-Level, you can tell that. Using our market-leading financial packages, you'll be able to purchase SEVERAL TIMES more tat than before - more tat than you ever dreamed of. Your carbon-copy Essex flat will be brimming with timeless classics such as "Marilyn Monroe ironing board cover", and "Crystal bear", enabling you to turn your house into a home. A home you can be proud of thanks to the help of tatfinance.com.
Example: If you've bought an entire stable of wing'd horses (and why wouldn't you??) along with an Elizabeth Duke racetrack, you could be burdened with monthly payments of £312.68 on Argos storecards. That's THREE HUNDRED AND TWELVE POUNDS, SIXTY EIGHT PENCE. With tatfinance.com, we can consolidate storecards, MBNA credit cards, and all similar finance products that are available to unwashed dole-bludging degenerates into ONE SINGLE, MANAGEABLE MONTHLY PAYMENT of £176.50. Small print: Payable over 25 years, by which point your charver wife will have divorced you for binge drinking "Biere d'Alsace" for 800 nights in a row and avidly watching bid-up.tv. That's a saving of £136.18, each and every month. To put that into context, that's a faux Burberry baseball cap, 6 packs of Marlboro Lights, a crate of cheap beer, a new tracksuit, and a set of blue washer-jet LEDs. In fact, your entire meaningless lifestyle could be funded by the savings tatfinance.com could give you.
But wait, that's not all...
Sign up now, and you'll get your choice of free gift from our list of special chosen ornaments:
* Delightful Elephant Fountain
* Magical Dolphin Clock
Or, our favourite gift, worth a GUARANTEED TWENTY POUNDS...
* Wing'd horse of chavtat
Who could resist such timeless ornaments of class, elegance, and masterful craftmanship? Each free gift is guaranteed genuine "Made in China", comes complete with presentation bubble-wrap packing, and has a lifetime guarantee. You won't find quality like this for any price, let alone Free.
Still not convinced?
Sign up now for our free and comprehensive guide to refinancing tat, and you'll get a charming clown pendant ABSOLUTELY FREE with no commitments to purchase a finance package. Our refinancing guide is written in clear, monosylabbic estuary English, with illustrations by tatfinance.com's enduring mascot "Shazza the Chavva".
How does tatfinance.com manage this?
Tatfinance.com is a direct supplier, cutting out the tat-in-the-middle. By taking away commissions, giving you a gift manufactured for fractions of a penny, tying you in to a term longer than a Hollyoaks plotline, and selling your peresonal details to companies that will junk-mail you with tat catalogues for all eternity, we're able to provide rates that were hitherto unheard of on the market.
Tat finance isn't available in the shops. You can buy now, online, or by sending a blank Giro made payable to Admail-tat to our PO Box. We're so confident in the quality of our refinancing packages, and the unheard of levels of tat that they'll allow you to buy, if you're not totally satisfied, we offer a no-quibble 28 day money-back guarantee. Your free tat gift is yours to keep, though (as we sure as hell don't want it). If you find a more competitive tat-financing scheme within 7 days of taking out your policy with tatfinance.com, we'll refund you twice the difference in quality tat. You may end up being the envy of your peers, as the proud owner of two wing'd horses. ABSOLUTELY FREE.
Tatfinance.com - With our help, you too can own a Wing'd horse of chavtat.
Disclaimer: As with all investments, the value of your tat may go down as well as up, and previous market fluctuations cannot be used as predictions of future valuations.
Edited as I was bored
>> Edited by J_S_G on Saturday 4th December 15:50
Debts spiralling? Ballooning interest payments on vast hordes of chav-tat? Consolidate your debts into one manageable, monthly payment with tatfinance.com.
With Christmas approaching, we all know how stretched finances can become. One payment after another. Fact: Store-cards from the likes of House of Charver can have interest rates of over 21%. With tatfinance.com you don't just get a low introductory rate, you get a chavtastic 12.9% throughout the lifetime of your repayments. That's less. Even without passing your Maths O-Level, you can tell that. Using our market-leading financial packages, you'll be able to purchase SEVERAL TIMES more tat than before - more tat than you ever dreamed of. Your carbon-copy Essex flat will be brimming with timeless classics such as "Marilyn Monroe ironing board cover", and "Crystal bear", enabling you to turn your house into a home. A home you can be proud of thanks to the help of tatfinance.com.
Example: If you've bought an entire stable of wing'd horses (and why wouldn't you??) along with an Elizabeth Duke racetrack, you could be burdened with monthly payments of £312.68 on Argos storecards. That's THREE HUNDRED AND TWELVE POUNDS, SIXTY EIGHT PENCE. With tatfinance.com, we can consolidate storecards, MBNA credit cards, and all similar finance products that are available to unwashed dole-bludging degenerates into ONE SINGLE, MANAGEABLE MONTHLY PAYMENT of £176.50. Small print: Payable over 25 years, by which point your charver wife will have divorced you for binge drinking "Biere d'Alsace" for 800 nights in a row and avidly watching bid-up.tv. That's a saving of £136.18, each and every month. To put that into context, that's a faux Burberry baseball cap, 6 packs of Marlboro Lights, a crate of cheap beer, a new tracksuit, and a set of blue washer-jet LEDs. In fact, your entire meaningless lifestyle could be funded by the savings tatfinance.com could give you.
But wait, that's not all...
Sign up now, and you'll get your choice of free gift from our list of special chosen ornaments:
* Delightful Elephant Fountain
* Magical Dolphin Clock
Or, our favourite gift, worth a GUARANTEED TWENTY POUNDS...
* Wing'd horse of chavtat
Who could resist such timeless ornaments of class, elegance, and masterful craftmanship? Each free gift is guaranteed genuine "Made in China", comes complete with presentation bubble-wrap packing, and has a lifetime guarantee. You won't find quality like this for any price, let alone Free.
Still not convinced?
Sign up now for our free and comprehensive guide to refinancing tat, and you'll get a charming clown pendant ABSOLUTELY FREE with no commitments to purchase a finance package. Our refinancing guide is written in clear, monosylabbic estuary English, with illustrations by tatfinance.com's enduring mascot "Shazza the Chavva".
How does tatfinance.com manage this?
Tatfinance.com is a direct supplier, cutting out the tat-in-the-middle. By taking away commissions, giving you a gift manufactured for fractions of a penny, tying you in to a term longer than a Hollyoaks plotline, and selling your peresonal details to companies that will junk-mail you with tat catalogues for all eternity, we're able to provide rates that were hitherto unheard of on the market.
Tat finance isn't available in the shops. You can buy now, online, or by sending a blank Giro made payable to Admail-tat to our PO Box. We're so confident in the quality of our refinancing packages, and the unheard of levels of tat that they'll allow you to buy, if you're not totally satisfied, we offer a no-quibble 28 day money-back guarantee. Your free tat gift is yours to keep, though (as we sure as hell don't want it). If you find a more competitive tat-financing scheme within 7 days of taking out your policy with tatfinance.com, we'll refund you twice the difference in quality tat. You may end up being the envy of your peers, as the proud owner of two wing'd horses. ABSOLUTELY FREE.
Tatfinance.com - With our help, you too can own a Wing'd horse of chavtat.
Disclaimer: As with all investments, the value of your tat may go down as well as up, and previous market fluctuations cannot be used as predictions of future valuations.
Edited as I was bored
>> Edited by J_S_G on Saturday 4th December 15:50
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