Suggestions rqd - Cleaner suspected of beating off in house.

[Rob_F]

Plotloss said:

Perhaps be in next time shes scheduled to come and clean your house. Just be in the lounge or kitchen with a can of beans and perhaps a subbuteo table. When she asks what you are doing, you can then retort, well, you tell me...

[allnighter]

You still didn't tell us how you came to the conclusion she was beating off crazy? what's the evidence? is she a squirter?any wet patches?

Have you considered a simple voice activated recorder,any self respecting solo guitarist will play tunes naturally

[ZR1cliff]

Any fag butts lying around?

[Plotloss]

ZR1cliff said:

Any fag butts lying around?

If theres moisturiser involved we're talking high velocity and I'm not sure its that type of post coital smoking shes concerned about...

[Carrera2]

allnighter said:

You still didn't tell us how you came to the conclusion she was beating off crazy? what's the evidence? is she a squirter?any wet patches? Have you considered a simple voice activated recorder,any self respecting solo guitarist will play tunes naturally

The evidence is fairly circumstantial at the moment but I for one believe it - I dont' want to say more on it at this stage and cause mass hysteria.

However, I like the idea of the voice ativated recorder...I like it a lot. The only possible drawback is if she's somehow using the hoover on herself and it drowns out her moans.....

It's still the No.1 choice of snare so far!!

[Carrera2]

Plotloss said:

ZR1cliff said: Any fag butts lying around? If theres moisturiser involved we're talking high velocity and I'm not sure its that type of post coital smoking shes concerned about...

[allnighter]

Carrera2 said:

a bottle of moisturiser.......

you're misguided my friend, women don't need that to get off , they produce it au naturel

[alfaman]

allnighter said:

You still didn't tell us how you came to the conclusion she was beating off crazy? what's the evidence? is she a squirter?any wet patches? Have you considered a simple voice activated recorder,any self respecting solo guitarist will play tunes naturally

reminds me of when I worked on an overseas construction site ...... one guys wife sent him a "personal" cassette recording of her beating herself off ...... when he went on holiday his roomate made a few copies of the tape .....it was heard by the whole site

[406tm]

Are you sure your not being Paranoid

[nel]

Have you tried sniffing the corners of your spin drier? Allegedly they can be the mnost erotic of white goods...

[Tuna]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Hey!

[Carrera2]

nel said:

Have you tried sniffing the corners of your spin drier? Allegedly they can be the mnost erotic of white goods...

Good thinking - unfortunately they're all fitted into the kitchen.

Unless she's been using the whole kitchen to rub up against the filthy minx!

[Plotloss]

This mosturiser.

How about emptying half of it and replacing it with horseradish?

That should flush her out (perhaps in more ways that one...)

[Tuna]

Einion Yrth said:

nothing wrong with tuna and cucumber sandwiches.

>> Edited by Tuna on Friday 16th December 14:40

[Carrera2]

Plotloss said:

This mosturiser. How about emptying half of it and replacing it with horseradish? That should flush her out (perhaps in more ways that one...)

We've discussed putting a line on the bottle to see if it 'goes down'... the thing is I don't want her to stop, I'd just like to know

[allnighter]

406tm said:

Are you sure your not being Paranoid

Nah! I don't think so , me thinks carrera2 is having us on, best Friday joke so far...

[Code Monkey]

406tm said:

Are you sure your not being Polaroid

[nel]

Plotloss said:

This mosturiser. How about emptying half of it and replacing it with horseradish? That should flush her out (perhaps in more ways that one...)

You're a bad man, but yes, a bit of deep heat would certainly wake her up!

[Carrera2]

allnighter said:

406tm said: Are you sure your not being Paranoid Nah! I don't think so , me thinks carrera2 is having us on, best Friday joke so far...

I kid you not - it really is true. If I can capture more evidence I'll happily post it up here next week.

[Plotloss]

Carrera2 said:

Plotloss said: This mosturiser. How about emptying half of it and replacing it with horseradish? That should flush her out (perhaps in more ways that one...) We've discussed putting a line on the bottle to see if it 'goes down'... the thing is I don't want her to stop, I'd just like to know

But wheres the comedy in that?

You'll know for sure if you go for horseradish because you'll find a cleaner, legs akimbo doing a handstand in your shower when you get home...

Edited to add it could also be the ideal moment to find out how you'd look with a beard...

>> Edited by Plotloss on Friday 16th December 14:42