Embarrassing relatives
Discussion
House hunting and made the mistake of taking the father in law with us.
We arrived at a nice bijou place occupied by an elderly couple.
Usual polite comments about the decor, size of bedrooms etc when FiL asks to use to the toilet and is shown the smallest room, presumably to dangle his maggot. Oh No, this was a rip roaring, stomach wrenching deposition of mammoth proportions that takes a concurrent courtesy flush and two full flushes along with liberal use of a toilet brush to see off.
Hoping the couple have been too engaged to notice the goings on, I make comment on the garden in the hope that they will lead us away rom the hallway where FiL has just given birth to a rotter. Just as the trick was paying off her emerges wafting his hand around his nose and shouting " I should give that ten minutes if I was you".
Priceless.
PMSL!!!! 
My grandad's a bit embarrassing sometimes - not intentionally, I guess it's generational..
When my best mate (who is Nigerian), fixed my grandad's PC: "Some of them are very nice"
When my lesbian next-door neighbour saved the day when I needed some herbs for cooking: "Ooh I hope you washed your hands"
In a restaurant full of people from all backgrounds: "There's a lot of coloureds in here."
Bless him he doesn't mean it in a derogatory way, but sometimes you just want to hide under the table!
My grandad's a bit embarrassing sometimes - not intentionally, I guess it's generational..
When my best mate (who is Nigerian), fixed my grandad's PC: "Some of them are very nice"
When my lesbian next-door neighbour saved the day when I needed some herbs for cooking: "Ooh I hope you washed your hands"
In a restaurant full of people from all backgrounds: "There's a lot of coloureds in here."
Bless him he doesn't mean it in a derogatory way, but sometimes you just want to hide under the table!
haha, brill, nearly fell of the chair.
My old gramps had a catheta, and used to drain it on peoples flower beds or over road drains whilst we were out walking. Once a bloke thought it was running from his car and was hands and knees sniffing it. Oh how we laughed, and old gramps was totally oblivious.
My old gramps had a catheta, and used to drain it on peoples flower beds or over road drains whilst we were out walking. Once a bloke thought it was running from his car and was hands and knees sniffing it. Oh how we laughed, and old gramps was totally oblivious.
Edited by joesnow on Thursday 29th March 23:23
Leftie said:
Mrs Fish said:
Brilliant Leftie, funny to read but I bet you nearly died of embarrasment
He has previous, like going to Carcraft in his spare time just to tell the saleman how over priced their cars are.
Did he treat them to a weapons grade dump, too...?
What went through the minds of that elderly couple after you left....?
Search the house, Matilda, I bet that was a diversion so Leftie could nick some stuff...
I am trying to educate my mum to use a different word for a lump of matted fur on a long-haired cat, worrying that one day she will have visitors who are not too old to notice when she grabs the cat with one hand and the scissors with the other and says "come on, let's cut that nasty clit off".
joesnow said:
haha, brill, nearly fell of the chair.
My old gramps had a catheta, and used to drain it on peoples flower beds or over road drains whilst we were out walking. Once a bloke thought it was running from his car and was hands and knees sniffing it. Oh how we laughed, and old gramps was totally oblivious.
My old gramps had a catheta, and used to drain it on peoples flower beds or over road drains whilst we were out walking. Once a bloke thought it was running from his car and was hands and knees sniffing it. Oh how we laughed, and old gramps was totally oblivious.
Edited by joesnow on Thursday 29th March 23:23
Choking on my tea now
joesnow said:
haha, brill, nearly fell of the chair.
My old gramps had a catheta, and used to drain it on peoples flower beds or over road drains whilst we were out walking. Once a bloke thought it was running from his car and was hands and knees sniffing it. Oh how we laughed, and old gramps was totally oblivious.
My old gramps had a catheta, and used to drain it on peoples flower beds or over road drains whilst we were out walking. Once a bloke thought it was running from his car and was hands and knees sniffing it. Oh how we laughed, and old gramps was totally oblivious.
Edited by joesnow on Thursday 29th March 23:23
Choking on my tea now
My dad launching into a rant about lesbians and why if they don't like men do they have to use strap-ons.
My mum talking about blokes knobs and how when you've seen one you've seen them all.
I was temped to leave the room, it was mortifying and highly unusual for both of them to be so candid!
My mum talking about blokes knobs and how when you've seen one you've seen them all.
I was temped to leave the room, it was mortifying and highly unusual for both of them to be so candid!
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