Things you have done when Drunk ......
Discussion
Got kicked in the nuts and wound up in hospital coughing up blood. Was well and truly rat arsed, kept annoying and winding up a female friend, she eventaully had enough and kicked me in the pills, i hit the ground like a sack of spuds and had to be carried down the night club steps by the bouncers as the 2 female paramedics couldn't lift me on their own. Not a fun experience, wouldn't recommend it
Pulled a stunner. staggered off to mine in the early hours of the morning.
Bleary eyed, I found i had written down an email address. woo! bit of conversing by that, was she around, when did she fancy meeting up for a drink? she was away for a few days so I eagerly awaited her return.
When she returned I went over, and discovered she had been replaced by a total munter. Suddenly Mr Nice of the previous few days chatty email turned into Mr A. Barsteward. I made brief small talk and left, never to email or contact her again.
My lasting memory of her is that during the hour and a half or so I spent with her, she never stopped eating
Bleary eyed, I found i had written down an email address. woo! bit of conversing by that, was she around, when did she fancy meeting up for a drink? she was away for a few days so I eagerly awaited her return.
When she returned I went over, and discovered she had been replaced by a total munter. Suddenly Mr Nice of the previous few days chatty email turned into Mr A. Barsteward. I made brief small talk and left, never to email or contact her again.
My lasting memory of her is that during the hour and a half or so I spent with her, she never stopped eating
Got properly pissed at a friends birthday party a few months ago & disgraced myself in a quite a major way:
After the party, we went back to my best man's house (where we were staying) & collapsed into bed with Mrs S. Spent a little while putting one arm on the floor etc to try & stop the room from spinning. Anyway, finally went to sleep. Next thing I know, it is about 3 in the morning & Mrs S was shouting at me for trying to take a piss in the corner of the room we were staying in, so she sent me upstairs to the loo. Managed to walk past the loo & into my best mans bedroom, where he was asleep with his wife. I then proceeded to pee all over their duvet. To make matters worse, I must have heard a splashing sound, as I then lifted up the corner of the duvet (thinking it was the loo seat, I guess) & continued to pee all over my best man's wife's feet. Needlesss to say, best man's wife was non too pleased with me (& for some strange reason, my best man). At the behest of Mrs S, I sent an apology gift a few days later - £50 worth of Febreeze Anti-bacterial. Strangely, we are still welcome at their house.
After the party, we went back to my best man's house (where we were staying) & collapsed into bed with Mrs S. Spent a little while putting one arm on the floor etc to try & stop the room from spinning. Anyway, finally went to sleep. Next thing I know, it is about 3 in the morning & Mrs S was shouting at me for trying to take a piss in the corner of the room we were staying in, so she sent me upstairs to the loo. Managed to walk past the loo & into my best mans bedroom, where he was asleep with his wife. I then proceeded to pee all over their duvet. To make matters worse, I must have heard a splashing sound, as I then lifted up the corner of the duvet (thinking it was the loo seat, I guess) & continued to pee all over my best man's wife's feet. Needlesss to say, best man's wife was non too pleased with me (& for some strange reason, my best man). At the behest of Mrs S, I sent an apology gift a few days later - £50 worth of Febreeze Anti-bacterial. Strangely, we are still welcome at their house.
Not one of mine, but one that happened to a good mate.
Came home from a mess do, leaving trail of clothing down front path and hall. Gets into bed. Remembers nothing. Woke up in the morning to very hostile young wife.
"what have I done? It wasn't pissing in the clothes hamper again, was it?" (his usual faux pas after a few.)
"You disgusting animal. You have got to go and apologise to my mother for a start."
Turns out that he'd try to pee in the clothes hamper. She'd woken up and stopped him and told him to go to the proper toilet. A few minutes later she hears screams from the spare bedroom, where her mother is staying for the weekend. She rushes down the landing to see her naked husband standing on the bed, one foot either side of her mother and swamping all over her while uttering the immortal words: "Get some of this you bitch!"
He started to apologise to her the following morning, but she was so cold to him that he told her that some women really like that sort of thing.....
He's divorced now, suprisingly.
Came home from a mess do, leaving trail of clothing down front path and hall. Gets into bed. Remembers nothing. Woke up in the morning to very hostile young wife.
"what have I done? It wasn't pissing in the clothes hamper again, was it?" (his usual faux pas after a few.)
"You disgusting animal. You have got to go and apologise to my mother for a start."
Turns out that he'd try to pee in the clothes hamper. She'd woken up and stopped him and told him to go to the proper toilet. A few minutes later she hears screams from the spare bedroom, where her mother is staying for the weekend. She rushes down the landing to see her naked husband standing on the bed, one foot either side of her mother and swamping all over her while uttering the immortal words: "Get some of this you bitch!"
He started to apologise to her the following morning, but she was so cold to him that he told her that some women really like that sort of thing.....
He's divorced now, suprisingly.
wadgebeast said:
Turns out that he'd try to pee in the clothes hamper. She'd woken up and stopped him and told him to go to the proper toilet. A few minutes later she hears screams from the spare bedroom, where her mother is staying for the weekend. She rushes down the landing to see her naked husband standing on the bed, one foot either side of her mother and swamping all over her while uttering the immortal words: "Get some of this you bitch!"
I would just love to have seen the judges face at the divorce hearing....grounds for divorce were...
trying to stop a police car by stepping out in front of it and holding my hand up - policeman stylee.
Have to say, all credit to the bloke he could get a car stationary FAR quicker than I ever could, and the tyre marks were really nice and straight with a shapely arc at the end
He was also kind enough to give me the choice of being charged with obstructing the queens highway or drunk and disorderly - he waited for a while as I babbled my incoherant reasoning and generally crapped myself for a few minutes, then let me off with a few choice words about the right and wrong ways to gain police assistance.
Have to say, all credit to the bloke he could get a car stationary FAR quicker than I ever could, and the tyre marks were really nice and straight with a shapely arc at the end
He was also kind enough to give me the choice of being charged with obstructing the queens highway or drunk and disorderly - he waited for a while as I babbled my incoherant reasoning and generally crapped myself for a few minutes, then let me off with a few choice words about the right and wrong ways to gain police assistance.
Schmalex said:
Got properly pissed at a friends birthday party a few months ago & disgraced myself in a quite a major way:
After the party, we went back to my best man's house (where we were staying) & collapsed into bed with Mrs S. Spent a little while putting one arm on the floor etc to try & stop the room from spinning. Anyway, finally went to sleep. Next thing I know, it is about 3 in the morning & Mrs S was shouting at me for trying to take a piss in the corner of the room we were staying in, so she sent me upstairs to the loo. Managed to walk past the loo & into my best mans bedroom, where he was asleep with his wife. I then proceeded to pee all over their duvet. To make matters worse, I must have heard a splashing sound, as I then lifted up the corner of the duvet (thinking it was the loo seat, I guess) & continued to pee all over my best man's wife's feet. Needlesss to say, best man's wife was non too pleased with me (& for some strange reason, my best man). At the behest of Mrs S, I sent an apology gift a few days later - £50 worth of Febreeze Anti-bacterial. Strangely, we are still welcome at their house.
After the party, we went back to my best man's house (where we were staying) & collapsed into bed with Mrs S. Spent a little while putting one arm on the floor etc to try & stop the room from spinning. Anyway, finally went to sleep. Next thing I know, it is about 3 in the morning & Mrs S was shouting at me for trying to take a piss in the corner of the room we were staying in, so she sent me upstairs to the loo. Managed to walk past the loo & into my best mans bedroom, where he was asleep with his wife. I then proceeded to pee all over their duvet. To make matters worse, I must have heard a splashing sound, as I then lifted up the corner of the duvet (thinking it was the loo seat, I guess) & continued to pee all over my best man's wife's feet. Needlesss to say, best man's wife was non too pleased with me (& for some strange reason, my best man). At the behest of Mrs S, I sent an apology gift a few days later - £50 worth of Febreeze Anti-bacterial. Strangely, we are still welcome at their house.
Oh dear, why do a lot of men do this
When I was 18 I went to my Aunts party in London and drank a whole bottle of Southern Comfort. I dont remember anything but apparently my Uncle "helped" me leave the party when I threw up over their nice new leather sofa. I have never touched Southern Comfort (or been invited to one of their parties) again!! 
However, this was topped by watching Mungo get drunk in Nottingham about 3 years ago and kopping off with the ugliest old hag I have ever seen in my life. She was at least 50, and resembled Rod Stewart in a dress... As he left the pub we all (there were about 15 of us) formed a guard of honour and clapped him out, much to the amusement of the packed street!!
However, this was topped by watching Mungo get drunk in Nottingham about 3 years ago and kopping off with the ugliest old hag I have ever seen in my life. She was at least 50, and resembled Rod Stewart in a dress... As he left the pub we all (there were about 15 of us) formed a guard of honour and clapped him out, much to the amusement of the packed street!!
Flasher said:
However, this was topped by watching Mungo get drunk in Nottingham about 3 years ago and kopping off with the ugliest old hag I have ever seen in my life. She was at least 50, and resembled Rod Stewart in a dress... As he left the pub we all (there were about 15 of us) formed a guard of honour and clapped him out, much to the amusement of the packed street!!
He is never going to live that down is he
Mrs Fish said:
Flasher said:
However, this was topped by watching Mungo get drunk in Nottingham about 3 years ago and kopping off with the ugliest old hag I have ever seen in my life. She was at least 50, and resembled Rod Stewart in a dress... As he left the pub we all (there were about 15 of us) formed a guard of honour and clapped him out, much to the amusement of the packed street!!
He is never going to live that down is he
As long as I'm alive, no.
Urintated out of my best mate's flat window standing on the back of his sofa. His wife and her friend were in the room at the time, they were horrified and disgusted. My mate took it badly aswell, which I thought was poor form. How can no-one see the funny side of this post drink ritual?
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