Another marriage guidance question to the masses
Discussion
Jay Ayegees said:
SparkytheCat
You must be confusing me with someone else - I've never climbed out of a toilet window to escape from a woman (or a man). Check your information source.
Jay
Unreserved apologies. You must be confusing me with someone else - I've never climbed out of a toilet window to escape from a woman (or a man). Check your information source.
Jay
I was confusing your login name with that of poster formally known as Love Machine
Sorry
I've uploaded it here as a Word document.
It might work for you.
It might not.
After one and a half years she told me it was over. This wasn't over something trivial. Someone made a big mistake. Tried everything for a week and she pulled more and more away until I read this. It sounds stupid but it worked like magic. After half a day she called me and told me we could make it work.
After nearly four years something else bad happened. I lost all sense of rationality and forget what I learned. And needless to say we're not together anymore.
It might work for you.
It might not.
After one and a half years she told me it was over. This wasn't over something trivial. Someone made a big mistake. Tried everything for a week and she pulled more and more away until I read this. It sounds stupid but it worked like magic. After half a day she called me and told me we could make it work.
After nearly four years something else bad happened. I lost all sense of rationality and forget what I learned. And needless to say we're not together anymore.
Edited by Swoxy on Saturday 26th May 17:29
King Herald said:
Mrs Fish said:
Perhaps she loves him but doesn't fancy him anymore, hence the lack of sex drive?
Perhaps he's a lousy fvck? Perhaps she is just bored of whatever it is he doles out? I'm not saying that is the case, but people do bore of sex. After 12 years with the same wife I have little or no interest in the gymnastics we used to practise 10 years ago. I would never cast my oats elsewhere, never have, but it doesn't mean our marriage has to fail, kids become orphaned, hearts broken, homes destroyed, just because my bag doesn't get emptied as often or as enthusiastically as it might want to.just a thought
People seem to just give up on marriage far too easily nowadays if everything is not quite perfect
Edited by King Herald on Thursday 24th May 23:07
Also a lot of people can get complacent in any relationship and I think it's important to look after yourself, keep some separate interests and make the effort to do things with each other.
Lack of sex seems to be the major problem for men in marriages going by this thread! Poor guys! I must admit if I was in a relationship without sex, I would try to work things out but if not I would go elsewhere, we only have one life and there's no point being unhappy. Kids can still grow up well if parents split but get on well, although it's obviously not ideal.
frazer guest said:
Hows about telling your wife every day that you love her, and every day remind her that she is beautifull? Perhaps once a week buy her flowers?
i actually buy the flowers because i like them in the house, but dont tell tao that
I don't buy flowers - I pick them ! i actually buy the flowers because i like them in the house, but dont tell tao that
Far more romantic I feel.
jacko lah said:
frazer guest said:
Hows about telling your wife every day that you love her, and every day remind her that she is beautifull? Perhaps once a week buy her flowers?
i actually buy the flowers because i like them in the house, but dont tell tao that
I don't buy flowers - I pick them ! i actually buy the flowers because i like them in the house, but dont tell tao that
Far more romantic I feel.
Grumpyone, To me it sounds like you are bored. We all get bored at some stage or other. Let me give you a couple of things to think about. Forget this other woman, concentrate on your wife & family then ask yourself if you would be willing to walk away alone without your other woman just to be by yourself. It is soooo very easy to fancy someone else then your own life suddenly seems crap, the whole grass is greener thing. What if you leave your wife then xxxx refuses to leave her husband? Would you still be happy to leave your wife and be alone? Think about alone, staying in a crap flat (probably rented) with little money as you are still having to pay your mortgage, support the kids etc.A good friend told me, don't leave your wife for somebody else, if you leave your wife you must be sure that you are doing it for yourself.
Alternatively, imagine the worst. If something happened to you or your wife today or tommorow what would happen, how would you feel? would you suddenly say to yourself what was i thinking, i couldn't manage without her? Or would you not care?
My marriage has had bad spells, same as anyone else's it's called life. I had considered leaving once or twice previously but thankfully i stayed put and we worked through it. Then 2 years ago i was badly injured, a spinal injury which now relates to walking difficulties, constant pain and I am now registered as a disabled person. I can't work and am very limited to what i can do. My point being i could not have survived this without the support of my wife, had i been alone i don't think i would have made it.
You need to learn to talk to your wife, and comprimise, it's a two way street.
I hope this is of some help but good luck with what you decide.
Alternatively, imagine the worst. If something happened to you or your wife today or tommorow what would happen, how would you feel? would you suddenly say to yourself what was i thinking, i couldn't manage without her? Or would you not care?
My marriage has had bad spells, same as anyone else's it's called life. I had considered leaving once or twice previously but thankfully i stayed put and we worked through it. Then 2 years ago i was badly injured, a spinal injury which now relates to walking difficulties, constant pain and I am now registered as a disabled person. I can't work and am very limited to what i can do. My point being i could not have survived this without the support of my wife, had i been alone i don't think i would have made it.
You need to learn to talk to your wife, and comprimise, it's a two way street.
I hope this is of some help but good luck with what you decide.
bigdavy said:
Grumpyone, To me it sounds like you are bored. We all get bored at some stage or other. Let me give you a couple of things to think about. Forget this other woman, concentrate on your wife & family then ask yourself if you would be willing to walk away alone without your other woman just to be by yourself. It is soooo very easy to fancy someone else then your own life suddenly seems crap, the whole grass is greener thing. What if you leave your wife then xxxx refuses to leave her husband? Would you still be happy to leave your wife and be alone? Think about alone, staying in a crap flat (probably rented) with little money as you are still having to pay your mortgage, support the kids etc.A good friend told me, don't leave your wife for somebody else, if you leave your wife you must be sure that you are doing it for yourself.
Alternatively, imagine the worst. If something happened to you or your wife today or tommorow what would happen, how would you feel? would you suddenly say to yourself what was i thinking, i couldn't manage without her? Or would you not care?
Very good advice.Alternatively, imagine the worst. If something happened to you or your wife today or tommorow what would happen, how would you feel? would you suddenly say to yourself what was i thinking, i couldn't manage without her? Or would you not care?
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