Discussion
I tend to be a fairly tolerant chap, and to be fair live in a part of London where tolerance of other races, creeds cultures and tastes is an absolute necessity. However, there was an incident last night which simply made me have to count to 10 before actually killing the mouth-breathing moron concerned.
I’m cycling home, and spy a bunch of youths (twenties, not teenagers) on a street corner. No problem. Except, it soon transpires, this bunch are out to prove their manhood. By stepping out in front of traffic unexpectedly. Now, god help me, but I could not stop it time – whether I could have stopped or not, causing a traffic pile-up and most likely death to myself, is yours to decide; but let’s just say that my reaction times were a little slower than optimum, for whatever reason you care to infer. So when I hit him, I must have still been doing about 10-15mph. The last thing I saw was sheer surprise on his stupid, Neanderthal face as I got my head down and my helmet hit him in the face.
He got off the floor, his mates came running over, at which point it got ugly, as you can imagine. By this stage I was incandescent with rage, started threatening to break heads if any one of them even dreamed of stepping closer, at which point they decided I wasn’t worth the hassle, and left. Unfortunately, as they left, one punched me, and I lost it. I’m a boxer, and my punch caught him in the jaw. He went down like a sack of potatoes. The other two, cowards as they were, ran for it. At this point I realised I was in trouble anyway, so I resisted the temptation to give him a parting kick, and seethed all the way home.
I fully expected a call from the police, for defending myself against superior numbers. So I called into this morning, and told them what had happened. They basically made me feel like a criminal, despite the fact that I neither provoked the incident, nor threw the first blow. If these idiots complain, I could face charges – and the best thing is, the police are actually going to look for the “victims”. Are they going to solve some real crime? No. But they are going to spend officer hours on tracking down these idiots and asking them if they would like to press charges. Luckily, I’m not stupid, and got several witnesses (motorists who stopped last night) who will support my assertion that it was self defence.
So, what the
kind of state is our country in?
1) the protagonist. I detest the way you waste oxygen while spending all of your time watching MTV in your council house and trying to emulate the utterly sh1t music you hear all day on Kiss FM. In any other age, you would be dead for lack of IQ or survival skills. But I hate everything about you, from your stupid braided hairstyle, to the fact that you play your brain numbingly awful music loud on your sh1t mobile phone, to your stupid baggy jeans and your idiot drooling facial expression. Frankly, I would like nothing better than to beat you with a tyre iron until there was little left of you but a smear on the pavement, you stupid, ignorant, worthless, pig-ugly waste of space. I hate the fact that you think you’re some kind of gangsta when I can fell you with one good blow and your lazy, shambling, cowardly friends run away. I wish I were an officer in Iraq and you were a in my battalion, as I’d send you walking out to clear minefields, just to make sure that my field supplies wouldn’t have to be wasted on you and your despicable ilk. What do you do with your time? What contribution to our country do you make? And what the juddering fcuk is that stupid language you purport to speak? You were born here. You were schooled here. You do not live in South Central LA, Haiti, Sierra Leone or wherever the hell else that idiot patois comes from – SPEAK ENGLISH! I realise that linguistic skills are largely beyond your tiny brain, but some sort of effort can’t be beyond you, can it, you mindless ape? I wish I had been in my car yesterday, as the savage joy I would have felt at booting it and watching your twitching corpse get run over by the van behind me after you went over my roof would have been worth the lawyer’s fees required to get me off. I hope you DIE. In fact I hope you die painfully, and take at least 5 others of your moron clan with you, youing tt.
2) The policeman from this morning. I realise that you joined the force because you were bullied at school and thought that a uniform would get you the girls and the respect that your weeny little frame and distinctly sub-par intellect denied you during your formative years. I realise that your basically inadequate personality finds solace in the trappings of petty officialdom. But even so, basic common sense should tell you that I am a law-abiding citizen pushed to extreme behaviour by the very people that your stupid bureaucracy and the window-licking idiots you seem to employ are meant to catch and incarcerate. Youing cowards are too afraid to venture out and catch people who need catching, but I watched you drooling at the thought of an easy prosecution, and put up with your cowardly, idiotic, affirmative action bullshit for long enough to want to take you outside and rearrange your already repulsive facial features, you stupid little man. Do you imagine you are doing any good in that once respected profession of yours? Do you think anyone respects you? Do you wonder that they laugh at you and call you names to your face, knowing that you are impotent, valueless and a waste of taxpayers’ money? I hate the way you peered myopically at me through your glasses, you speccy gimp, and the way that your uniform looked like it hadn’t been ironed in a week. What pride is there left if you can’t even be bothered to look like a policeman – you resembled some faceless clerk from the bowels of the home office which, let’s face it, is really all you are anymore, you utter, utter ballsack of a human being. I hope that your end is messy, ill-advised and at the hands of one of the prolific criminal class that you and your inept kind have failed, in every single way, to control or deter.
3) Labour. In the decade or so that you’ve been in power you have taken virtually every problem that this country had and made it spectacularly worse. But today, let’s focus on law and order (or lack of). Your stewardship of this country has seen the underclass breed like rats and run amok, impacting on the lives of all of us that don’t suck benefits, who pay our taxes, and obey your laws. You know, I can’t even be bothered – there’s too much. Suffice it to say that you are a government of incompetents, led, sheep like, by a succession of leaders in thrall to America, a country which no-one but the insane should regard as the shining beacon of the free world. You are a herd of charlatans, a parliament of fools, and a collection of the most mean, petty and cowardly individuals that it is possible to assemble in one organisation. Your country is a joke, and your mediocre talents and weak ideologies only serve to drag everyone else down with you. You have built a society where murder goes unpunished, but hard work and ambition are thwarted as far as possible, strangled by the politics of envy. I hope you all burn in hell, from the prime minister to the lowliest civil servant in his pointless sinecure.
4) The underclass. It is you, you shower, that vote these people in time and time again. Held in their thrall by benefits and handouts, you are bringing the rest of us down with you. While the middle classes need to shoulder the blame for opening the door to Labour and their ghastly social re-engineering, it is you, you awful sacks of flesh, that keep the door to the horror open. You contribute nothing, and your horrid children roam the streets creating havoc where they go, marginalising the dwindling numbers of decent citizens left. You read the Mail and whine about immigration, while contributing nothing yourselves. I hate you, bunch of evolutionary dead ends. I hate everything about you, from your miserable tastes for reality television through to your stultifying effects on the rest of humanity. When I get my three wishes, one will involve an assault rifle and a lack of accountability, you utter scum.
5) Russell Brand. You have nothing to do with any of this this, but I just have the overwhelming urge to rip your spine out, you prick.
I’m cycling home, and spy a bunch of youths (twenties, not teenagers) on a street corner. No problem. Except, it soon transpires, this bunch are out to prove their manhood. By stepping out in front of traffic unexpectedly. Now, god help me, but I could not stop it time – whether I could have stopped or not, causing a traffic pile-up and most likely death to myself, is yours to decide; but let’s just say that my reaction times were a little slower than optimum, for whatever reason you care to infer. So when I hit him, I must have still been doing about 10-15mph. The last thing I saw was sheer surprise on his stupid, Neanderthal face as I got my head down and my helmet hit him in the face.
He got off the floor, his mates came running over, at which point it got ugly, as you can imagine. By this stage I was incandescent with rage, started threatening to break heads if any one of them even dreamed of stepping closer, at which point they decided I wasn’t worth the hassle, and left. Unfortunately, as they left, one punched me, and I lost it. I’m a boxer, and my punch caught him in the jaw. He went down like a sack of potatoes. The other two, cowards as they were, ran for it. At this point I realised I was in trouble anyway, so I resisted the temptation to give him a parting kick, and seethed all the way home.
I fully expected a call from the police, for defending myself against superior numbers. So I called into this morning, and told them what had happened. They basically made me feel like a criminal, despite the fact that I neither provoked the incident, nor threw the first blow. If these idiots complain, I could face charges – and the best thing is, the police are actually going to look for the “victims”. Are they going to solve some real crime? No. But they are going to spend officer hours on tracking down these idiots and asking them if they would like to press charges. Luckily, I’m not stupid, and got several witnesses (motorists who stopped last night) who will support my assertion that it was self defence.
So, what the
kind of state is our country in?1) the protagonist. I detest the way you waste oxygen while spending all of your time watching MTV in your council house and trying to emulate the utterly sh1t music you hear all day on Kiss FM. In any other age, you would be dead for lack of IQ or survival skills. But I hate everything about you, from your stupid braided hairstyle, to the fact that you play your brain numbingly awful music loud on your sh1t mobile phone, to your stupid baggy jeans and your idiot drooling facial expression. Frankly, I would like nothing better than to beat you with a tyre iron until there was little left of you but a smear on the pavement, you stupid, ignorant, worthless, pig-ugly waste of space. I hate the fact that you think you’re some kind of gangsta when I can fell you with one good blow and your lazy, shambling, cowardly friends run away. I wish I were an officer in Iraq and you were a in my battalion, as I’d send you walking out to clear minefields, just to make sure that my field supplies wouldn’t have to be wasted on you and your despicable ilk. What do you do with your time? What contribution to our country do you make? And what the juddering fcuk is that stupid language you purport to speak? You were born here. You were schooled here. You do not live in South Central LA, Haiti, Sierra Leone or wherever the hell else that idiot patois comes from – SPEAK ENGLISH! I realise that linguistic skills are largely beyond your tiny brain, but some sort of effort can’t be beyond you, can it, you mindless ape? I wish I had been in my car yesterday, as the savage joy I would have felt at booting it and watching your twitching corpse get run over by the van behind me after you went over my roof would have been worth the lawyer’s fees required to get me off. I hope you DIE. In fact I hope you die painfully, and take at least 5 others of your moron clan with you, you
ing tt.2) The policeman from this morning. I realise that you joined the force because you were bullied at school and thought that a uniform would get you the girls and the respect that your weeny little frame and distinctly sub-par intellect denied you during your formative years. I realise that your basically inadequate personality finds solace in the trappings of petty officialdom. But even so, basic common sense should tell you that I am a law-abiding citizen pushed to extreme behaviour by the very people that your stupid bureaucracy and the window-licking idiots you seem to employ are meant to catch and incarcerate. You
ing cowards are too afraid to venture out and catch people who need catching, but I watched you drooling at the thought of an easy prosecution, and put up with your cowardly, idiotic, affirmative action bullshit for long enough to want to take you outside and rearrange your already repulsive facial features, you stupid little man. Do you imagine you are doing any good in that once respected profession of yours? Do you think anyone respects you? Do you wonder that they laugh at you and call you names to your face, knowing that you are impotent, valueless and a waste of taxpayers’ money? I hate the way you peered myopically at me through your glasses, you speccy gimp, and the way that your uniform looked like it hadn’t been ironed in a week. What pride is there left if you can’t even be bothered to look like a policeman – you resembled some faceless clerk from the bowels of the home office which, let’s face it, is really all you are anymore, you utter, utter ballsack of a human being. I hope that your end is messy, ill-advised and at the hands of one of the prolific criminal class that you and your inept kind have failed, in every single way, to control or deter. 3) Labour. In the decade or so that you’ve been in power you have taken virtually every problem that this country had and made it spectacularly worse. But today, let’s focus on law and order (or lack of). Your stewardship of this country has seen the underclass breed like rats and run amok, impacting on the lives of all of us that don’t suck benefits, who pay our taxes, and obey your laws. You know, I can’t even be bothered – there’s too much. Suffice it to say that you are a government of incompetents, led, sheep like, by a succession of leaders in thrall to America, a country which no-one but the insane should regard as the shining beacon of the free world. You are a herd of charlatans, a parliament of fools, and a collection of the most mean, petty and cowardly individuals that it is possible to assemble in one organisation. Your country is a joke, and your mediocre talents and weak ideologies only serve to drag everyone else down with you. You have built a society where murder goes unpunished, but hard work and ambition are thwarted as far as possible, strangled by the politics of envy. I hope you all burn in hell, from the prime minister to the lowliest civil servant in his pointless sinecure.
4) The underclass. It is you, you shower, that vote these people in time and time again. Held in their thrall by benefits and handouts, you are bringing the rest of us down with you. While the middle classes need to shoulder the blame for opening the door to Labour and their ghastly social re-engineering, it is you, you awful sacks of flesh, that keep the door to the horror open. You contribute nothing, and your horrid children roam the streets creating havoc where they go, marginalising the dwindling numbers of decent citizens left. You read the Mail and whine about immigration, while contributing nothing yourselves. I hate you, bunch of evolutionary dead ends. I hate everything about you, from your miserable tastes for reality television through to your stultifying effects on the rest of humanity. When I get my three wishes, one will involve an assault rifle and a lack of accountability, you utter scum.
5) Russell Brand. You have nothing to do with any of this this, but I just have the overwhelming urge to rip your spine out, you prick.
- edited for a couple of typos
Edited by Harry Flashman on Friday 21st September 17:10
LGF - Ive just read your profile 
Harry Flashman said:
I'm still actually shaking with rage from it all. And berating myself for my stupidity in bothering to report it to the inept goons we call a police force these days.
Reporting it to the police may well have been a good plan. If these guys get together & concoct a story, it'll look better than you went there first. pikey said:
Harry Flashman said:
I'm still actually shaking with rage from it all. And berating myself for my stupidity in bothering to report it to the inept goons we call a police force these days.
Reporting it to the police may well have been a good plan. If these guys get together & concoct a story, it'll look better than you went there first. 
Well done on getting the drop on them.Good work chinning the knuckle dragger too...
HF in post not mentioning sexual misdemeanours shocker......
Well done for smacking the tt, a bit more of that treatment and maybe people like him would learn rthat being a prick isnt cool. (Hopefully next time he steps out it will be a bus that hits him (I was going to write lorry, but I detest bus drivers so one of them removing a drain on resources from the planet seems like a good thing.)
I truly hope to god the small minded sack of shit that passes as a representative of Law and Order in this country does no more than file a report, passing it on to a proper copper who will put it in the pile marked "non-crimes that don't need solving"
Well done for smacking the t
t, a bit more of that treatment and maybe people like him would learn rthat being a prick isnt cool. (Hopefully next time he steps out it will be a bus that hits him (I was going to write lorry, but I detest bus drivers so one of them removing a drain on resources from the planet seems like a good thing.)I truly hope to god the small minded sack of shit that passes as a representative of Law and Order in this country does no more than file a report, passing it on to a proper copper who will put it in the pile marked "non-crimes that don't need solving"
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