Why do beards itch?

Author
Discussion

smack

9,728 posts

191 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
asbo said:
eharding said:
Now, just a cotton-picking second;

Ladyhayles said:
The OH grows a beard every year in the "Grand Beard Cultivating Contest" with his housemate which starts at the end of September and ends on Christmas Day with them both looking like Al Queda members.

OH complains of itchy beard syndrome during these contests but swears by fully washing the beard with shampoo and conditioner and it makes it much softer and more "lady friendly" too.
I'm tired, having spent a rather cold hour on the hard shoulder of the M4 when the Rangie's alternator decided to die, and hence possibly confused - but your OH has a "housemate", and they have beard growing competitions?
...and you thought you had problems.
rofl

Vanya

2,058 posts

244 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
Jimbeaux said:
Mobile Chicane said:
Beards are vile. The only 'wimmin' who like them are saggy-titted, sandal-wearing, frizzy-haired, ale-quaffing lentilistas with chin hair they can comb. Fact.
roflroflbiggrin

Edited by Jimbeaux on Friday 9th January 00:21

I couldn't agree more, in fact worthy of another... rofl

Dale19

520 posts

192 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
I shaved my beard off this morning, I miss it already.

frown

Howitzer

2,834 posts

216 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
Before shaving a beard off you must make a mental map of how you will do it to gain the most amount of facial hair looks as possible.

Beards are great, they instill confidence in those around you and make desirable women wobble at the knees. Only undesirable wmen don't like beards, it's a scientific fact.

Dave!

OllieWinchester

5,654 posts

192 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
TotalControl said:
....being asian and muslim, i can't grow it too long in the fear of piss takes and/or random rugby tackles.
clap

Johnny

9,652 posts

284 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
I have a rather fine beeard at present and have gone for the whole Obadiah Stane look by having bic'd my bonce as well.

'Tis a fine combination. Though somewhat cold at present hehe

steven182

1,886 posts

201 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
carter711 said:
agentzigzag said:
Beards itch because everything that blokes enjoy MUST have a downside

Cars - Breakdown
Women - Nagging
Booze - Falling over
Rock and roll - Youngsters 'dissin' your 'choonz'
War - Death
Top Gear - Hammond
Football - Man U
hehe
lmao!

especially the falling over. That is too my number one concern when drunk.

y2blade

56,097 posts

215 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:
Had a full beard for several years....

Never itched...

You must be cultivating something...
what he said^^^

OP wash it you scanky f-cker eek





dwilkie

2,222 posts

186 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
Normally the phase comes in after about a week, goes by the end of the 2nd or 3rd with me. And yes, I do wash.

I normally shave it off after a while and start again. Not sure why. Top tip to not trash razors - go over it with a set of hair clippers first and THEN shave it smile

Ladyhayles

1,113 posts

189 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
smack said:
asbo said:
eharding said:
Now, just a cotton-picking second;

Ladyhayles said:
The OH grows a beard every year in the "Grand Beard Cultivating Contest" with his housemate which starts at the end of September and ends on Christmas Day with them both looking like Al Queda members.

OH complains of itchy beard syndrome during these contests but swears by fully washing the beard with shampoo and conditioner and it makes it much softer and more "lady friendly" too.
I'm tired, having spent a rather cold hour on the hard shoulder of the M4 when the Rangie's alternator decided to die, and hence possibly confused - but your OH has a "housemate", and they have beard growing competitions?
...and you thought you had problems.
rofl
The beard growing competitions were born from complete drunken stupidity to begin with and now is an annual event (which is usually kept going through drunken stupidity).

Trust me - there is nothing "gay" about either of them - they don't have enough fashion sense or grooming abilities between them to even make one homosexual!

The only other thing I can say in their defence is that they are both engineers!

y2blade

56,097 posts

215 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
dwilkie said:
Normally the phase comes in after about a week, goes by the end of the 2nd or 3rd with me. And yes, I do wash.

I normally shave it off after a while and start again. Not sure why. Top tip to not trash razors - go over it with a set of hair clippers first and THEN shave it smile
hehe

next time keep it beards rock!!!

dwilkie

2,222 posts

186 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
Well I do have it at the moment... You should have seen it when I went to Norway with work - it's no wonder I got stopped by customs when I landed! I do agree though, I normally keep it for a couple of months, shave it off, then immediately regret it and grow it again. Rinse, repeat.

Last time I shaved it off when people started pointing out I had more hair on my face than my head... I DO drive a Rover though, so I think it's justified!

y2blade

56,097 posts

215 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
dwilkie said:
Well I do have it at the moment... You should have seen it when I went to Norway with work - it's no wonder I got stopped by customs when I landed! I do agree though, I normally keep it for a couple of months, shave it off, then immediately regret it and grow it again. Rinse, repeat.

Last time I shaved it off when people started pointing out I had more hair on my face than my head... I DO drive a Rover though, so I think it's justified!
have you seen what i drive?......... it's compolsery winkhehe

dwilkie

2,222 posts

186 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
Haha, fair point. I'll hopefully be getting an ATR in a couple of months, but as far as I'm concerned it's still an accord and thus still beard-worthy...

TonyHetherington

32,091 posts

250 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
It's all about control though - get the beard too long and it just looks untidy. keep it neat and all is well biggrin

y2blade

56,097 posts

215 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
TonyHetherington said:
It's all about control though - get the beard too long and it just looks untidy. keep it neat and all is well biggrin

TotalControl

8,055 posts

198 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
y2blade said:
TonyHetherington said:
It's all about control though - get the beard too long and it just looks untidy. keep it neat and all is well biggrin
Looks like a squid/ pretzel

Edited by TotalControl on Friday 9th January 19:38

Famous Graham

26,553 posts

225 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
Howitzer said:
Before shaving a beard off you must make a mental map of how you will do it to gain the most amount of facial hair looks as possible.
yes

Next time around I'll be going the unorthodox route of shaving the chin first, to get "The Hetfield", followed by "The Sidey'd Sanchez" and finally "The Village People".

Prof Beard

6,669 posts

227 months

Friday 9th January 2009
quotequote all
As a full and long bearded one, I can assure you that a real beard needs the same shampoo care that your hair does. My beard is splendidly "professorial", and I might add that my tall, elegant, meat-eating, non-drinking wife thinks its fine too wink