People shagging in your house
Discussion
SiH said:
Nice thread, raised quite a few chuckles!
Just to add my tuppence worth....
During my heady days at university I was once at a house party and was about to walk into the kitchen (which led directly off the living room and had no door) when I was advised that I would be better off not going in. I dismissed this and went in anyway as I was after a beer from the fridge. In I wandered only to find a friend of mine hard at it with a girl bent over the worktop. Little did I realise, though he delighted in telling me the next day, that he was earning his brown wings at the time!!!
Rather amusingly I'm off to his wedding in a couple of weeks. I wonder if I should bring this story up in conversation? (And no, the girl he's marrying isn't [u]the one who he took up the Oxo Tower![/u])
Happy days
Just to add my tuppence worth....
During my heady days at university I was once at a house party and was about to walk into the kitchen (which led directly off the living room and had no door) when I was advised that I would be better off not going in. I dismissed this and went in anyway as I was after a beer from the fridge. In I wandered only to find a friend of mine hard at it with a girl bent over the worktop. Little did I realise, though he delighted in telling me the next day, that he was earning his brown wings at the time!!!
Rather amusingly I'm off to his wedding in a couple of weeks. I wonder if I should bring this story up in conversation? (And no, the girl he's marrying isn't [u]the one who he took up the Oxo Tower![/u])
Happy days
ked......
I got to listen to the rather confusing noises of one of my housemates a few months ago.
Halls of residence flat, 6 of us per flat, all women in this case, I was in the middle room on the ground floor with a room either side of me. Walls were very weird, high-pitched sounds like my housemate's phone ringtone and alarm clock came through loud and clear but voices rarely did, unless people were shouting.
5 in the evening, trying to write an essay, and from the room next door I suddenly hear "Uh huh huh huh". The best way to describe it is the noise some women make when they're crying hysterically (sp?), but with a more...regular pattern to it.
I couldn't work out if she really was crying loudly or having sex. Made more confusing by the fact that at one point she went "UUUUUHHHHH HUH HUH HUH, UUUUUUHHHHH", very high-pitched which is probably why I could hear it through the wall.
She was either having the best sex of her life, or someone had just died.
In the end I loaded up iTunes and put my headphones on but even then I could still hear the occasional "huh huh huh" part. It went on for over an hour and then eventually went quiet.
About five minutes later I heard her door open so took off my headphones in time to hear a male voice going "Yeah, yeah, fine, see you later darling" in a definite "OMG get me out of here!" tone. Personally, I don't blame him, that stupid, whiney noise was enough to make me want to kill her after 5 minutes let alone over an hour. Poor guy probably wasn't quite expecting that.
Halls of residence flat, 6 of us per flat, all women in this case, I was in the middle room on the ground floor with a room either side of me. Walls were very weird, high-pitched sounds like my housemate's phone ringtone and alarm clock came through loud and clear but voices rarely did, unless people were shouting.
5 in the evening, trying to write an essay, and from the room next door I suddenly hear "Uh huh huh huh". The best way to describe it is the noise some women make when they're crying hysterically (sp?), but with a more...regular pattern to it.
I couldn't work out if she really was crying loudly or having sex. Made more confusing by the fact that at one point she went "UUUUUHHHHH HUH HUH HUH, UUUUUUHHHHH", very high-pitched which is probably why I could hear it through the wall.
She was either having the best sex of her life, or someone had just died.
In the end I loaded up iTunes and put my headphones on but even then I could still hear the occasional "huh huh huh" part. It went on for over an hour and then eventually went quiet.
About five minutes later I heard her door open so took off my headphones in time to hear a male voice going "Yeah, yeah, fine, see you later darling" in a definite "OMG get me out of here!" tone. Personally, I don't blame him, that stupid, whiney noise was enough to make me want to kill her after 5 minutes let alone over an hour. Poor guy probably wasn't quite expecting that.
marshalla said:
Alex106 said:
Davi said:
wait till they finish then give a round of applause, shrill whistles etc. See how long it takes them to pluck up courage to come down in the morning 
Yes! Gather everyone else around the door and give them the clap when they emerge in the morning!
2003 I was on the Fort Austin out in the Gulf. I was awoken one night at about 2 am by the loudest sex I have ever heard. I thought it was the cadets fighting again but this was taking place in the other cabin. It actually seemed to be travelling around the room and when the yelping got muffled it was safe to assume they had moved into the bathroom..
It turned out that the STON guy in the cabin next to me had his wife onboard for a few days and hadn't seen her for about 8 months. So had a mental image of the sex scene in scary movie when he sprays her onto the ceiling!
It turned out that the STON guy in the cabin next to me had his wife onboard for a few days and hadn't seen her for about 8 months. So had a mental image of the sex scene in scary movie when he sprays her onto the ceiling!
Was in an apartment in Melbourne back in 2005 when next door were at it for what seemed like hours...oh and when I lived in a pub there was more than one occasion this went on.
Almost forgot, when the old man came out of the pub after 36yrs in same pub, he got a write up in local paper and there was a quote from him saying about a woman that he bumped into who was staying over for B&B in the pub sleep walking naked cannot remember if I was too young or naive at the time.
Almost forgot, when the old man came out of the pub after 36yrs in same pub, he got a write up in local paper and there was a quote from him saying about a woman that he bumped into who was staying over for B&B in the pub sleep walking naked
cannot remember if I was too young or naive at the time. About 12 years ago I was staying with my Mum and her Boyfriend.
Everyone had gone upstairs to bed except me as I was watching a film on the box. After a while I heard the rhythmic squeak, squeak, squeak sound of bouncing bed springs coming from upstairs. Disturbing as this was I hoped it would be over shortly, but it continued for about an hour. Suddenly my mums boyfriend came stumbling down the stairs sweating and looking dishevelled and asks me if I know where the WD40 was! He then wobbles off into the garage, only to reappear with a can of said lubricant.
He looked a bit perplexed at the look of sheer horror on my face as he climbed the stairs, muttering that my sisters squeaking hamster wheel had kept him awake for the last hour and needed oiling.
Everyone had gone upstairs to bed except me as I was watching a film on the box. After a while I heard the rhythmic squeak, squeak, squeak sound of bouncing bed springs coming from upstairs. Disturbing as this was I hoped it would be over shortly, but it continued for about an hour. Suddenly my mums boyfriend came stumbling down the stairs sweating and looking dishevelled and asks me if I know where the WD40 was! He then wobbles off into the garage, only to reappear with a can of said lubricant.
He looked a bit perplexed at the look of sheer horror on my face as he climbed the stairs, muttering that my sisters squeaking hamster wheel had kept him awake for the last hour and needed oiling.
bigburd said:
Was in an apartment in Melbourne back in 2005 when next door were at it for what seemed like hours...oh and when I lived in a pub there was more than one occasion this went on.
Almost forgot, when the old man came out of the pub after 36yrs in same pub, he got a write up in local paper and there was a quote from him saying about a woman that he bumped into who was staying over for B&B in the pub sleep walking naked cannot remember if I was too young or naive at the time.
Your dad stayed in a pub for 36 years? WTF? Was he able to stand?Almost forgot, when the old man came out of the pub after 36yrs in same pub, he got a write up in local paper and there was a quote from him saying about a woman that he bumped into who was staying over for B&B in the pub sleep walking naked
cannot remember if I was too young or naive at the time. 1 - When I was a teenager some girls came round to see my older brother. I was in my room and after a while one of them came in to chat with me. A bit later we decided to go and chat to my brother so went to his room and walked in on him and the girl on the bed, her on all fours and him mounted! The look of surprise on his face was truly great!
2 - My brother and I had a big party at the house while parents away for the week and most of us slept in the lounge. One of the skinnest lads there got off with the biggest girl and I could hear sqeulching noises on and off thru the night! A week later, parents back and Mum says "what's this white stain on the sofa?"! Same party someone pucked in the outside toilet but no one knew - a week of glorious sunshine later, step Dad goes in, and comes back out VERY fast!
3 - Years later, walking up the road to the local offy and heard a young lady congratulating her partner over and over again thru the open upstairs window of one of the houses. Went back home to the missuss......and drank the beer.
2 - My brother and I had a big party at the house while parents away for the week and most of us slept in the lounge. One of the skinnest lads there got off with the biggest girl and I could hear sqeulching noises on and off thru the night! A week later, parents back and Mum says "what's this white stain on the sofa?"! Same party someone pucked in the outside toilet but no one knew - a week of glorious sunshine later, step Dad goes in, and comes back out VERY fast!
3 - Years later, walking up the road to the local offy and heard a young lady congratulating her partner over and over again thru the open upstairs window of one of the houses. Went back home to the missuss......and drank the beer.
College days... I had a girl who lived downstairs, with a set of lungs that could wake the dead. The floor was pretty useless at muffling the noise, and her boyfriend must have been a triathlete, because they could go at it for seriously long amounts of time. It got to the stage where the entire block of about 20 people would be yelling out "Tiffany SHUT UP!" because people just wanted to get some sleep.
I cant count the number of times I've heard other people going at it (loads). When I was younger, my reaction was jealousy. Now that I'm 38, my reaction is just to put a pillow over my head and try to get some sleep.
I cant count the number of times I've heard other people going at it (loads). When I was younger, my reaction was jealousy. Now that I'm 38, my reaction is just to put a pillow over my head and try to get some sleep.
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