Discussion
Cara Van Man said:
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
Isn't some fairly massive % of the homeless comprised of ex-forces personel? Timmy35 said:
Cara Van Man said:
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
Isn't some fairly massive % of the homeless comprised of ex-forces personel? 
Can't find the exact % at the mo, but i think it's about 50% or something ridiculous.
Cara Van Man said:
Thanks. I think.
The forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
The forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
You know I loves ya really I would 
ali_kat said:
Cara Van Man said:
Thanks. I think.
The forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
The forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
You know I loves ya really I would 
My brother commited suicide (by rail) and didn't leave a note or any form of communication.
It is without a doubt the most tragic and hardest to deal with form of death. I don't think people who commit suidicde realise just how much they are loved and if they just spoke up they would receive so much help.
I think the stigma attached to suicide both by church and society is largely responsible - if we were unafraid to discuss it in public and openly offer help then perhaps young men wouldn't feel it was their only option.
It is without a doubt the most tragic and hardest to deal with form of death. I don't think people who commit suidicde realise just how much they are loved and if they just spoke up they would receive so much help.
I think the stigma attached to suicide both by church and society is largely responsible - if we were unafraid to discuss it in public and openly offer help then perhaps young men wouldn't feel it was their only option.
After reading all here I hope I don't offend anyone by saying..... TALK.
As some have said men bottle thing's up, and yes they do. I work with over 100 of them and they at times have a personal chat with me just to get a womans point of view of everything that is bothering them, god forbid they talk to their good ladies about these things. Whether they think it a sign of weekness being the bread winner or they just can't talk about it who know's.
Find someone you can talk to, but I think it best it be someone in a profession to help and not a friend/family member.
After my marriage went pear shaped I never contemplated taking my own life. However I had horrid resentment and anger to my ex and the things he had done to me. Took me a while but I sought out someone to talk to (must stress look for someone you don't know). Much better place in my life for it. (However I do still have trust issues lol).
I have unfortunately seen the devistation from a lot of friends and family who have commited suicide. And after the fact all you can ask is why didn't he talk to us.
(apologies for spelling and grammar for the above)
Ave
As some have said men bottle thing's up, and yes they do. I work with over 100 of them and they at times have a personal chat with me just to get a womans point of view of everything that is bothering them, god forbid they talk to their good ladies about these things. Whether they think it a sign of weekness being the bread winner or they just can't talk about it who know's.
Find someone you can talk to, but I think it best it be someone in a profession to help and not a friend/family member.
After my marriage went pear shaped I never contemplated taking my own life. However I had horrid resentment and anger to my ex and the things he had done to me. Took me a while but I sought out someone to talk to (must stress look for someone you don't know). Much better place in my life for it. (However I do still have trust issues lol).
I have unfortunately seen the devistation from a lot of friends and family who have commited suicide. And after the fact all you can ask is why didn't he talk to us.
(apologies for spelling and grammar for the above)
Ave
Edited by Stang on Thursday 24th July 12:34
Timmy35 said:
ali_kat said:
Cara Van Man said:
Thanks. I think.
The forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
The forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
You know I loves ya really I would WAAAAAAAYYYYYHAAAAYYYYY lads...I'm in here
Cara Van Man said:
Thanks. I think.
The forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
Still ballsy of you to admit to it though. mind you you admitted to the caravan/people carrier combo, after that a little bit of counselling is nothingThe forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
Can i ask what made you think "Ok I'm not coping that well, I've got som esome pretty good resources available, I'd better use them?" Was it something you realised, or did your wife/friends push you towards it?
Apparently in Japan the rate is going up for 30 somethings.
I always think however how unlucky people are who have some life threatening disease and who want to live: if you remove your current situation and you find yourself healthy then there is a whole world out there.
Modern day success appears to me about how much tax you can pay, and that can be pretty depressing straight off the bat - you can't take it with you but you can always have a radical lifestyle change, more than once.
So my escape valve is not suicide at all, it's knowing that I can auction off all my crap and go travelling and set up a new lifestyle as a barman, cleaner, businessman etc somewhere else completely. While UK PLC is going down the tubes you can still live for peanuts in a laid back lifestyle in India, Thailand, africa etc and develop that Ponzi scheme you have always promised yourself
The trick is disconnecting yourself as a person from your lifestyle and responsibilities which at the end of the day are worth zip if you die.
I always think however how unlucky people are who have some life threatening disease and who want to live: if you remove your current situation and you find yourself healthy then there is a whole world out there.
Modern day success appears to me about how much tax you can pay, and that can be pretty depressing straight off the bat - you can't take it with you but you can always have a radical lifestyle change, more than once.
So my escape valve is not suicide at all, it's knowing that I can auction off all my crap and go travelling and set up a new lifestyle as a barman, cleaner, businessman etc somewhere else completely. While UK PLC is going down the tubes you can still live for peanuts in a laid back lifestyle in India, Thailand, africa etc and develop that Ponzi scheme you have always promised yourself
The trick is disconnecting yourself as a person from your lifestyle and responsibilities which at the end of the day are worth zip if you die.
scotal said:
Cara Van Man said:
Thanks. I think.
The forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
Still ballsy of you to admit to it though. mind you you admitted to the caravan/people carrier combo, after that a little bit of counselling is nothingThe forces offer some excellent help in this field. They need to nowadays.
You wouldn't believe the amount of people in the forces that have problems like this. At my base apparently nearly 30% of people have reported some sort of stress or mental health issue and have had time off.
Can i ask what made you think "Ok I'm not coping that well, I've got som esome pretty good resources available, I'd better use them?" Was it something you realised, or did your wife/friends push you towards it?
My wife asked me to go as it was affecting our marriage because she couldn't understand why I am like i am.
I often think about it - not to the degree of planning anything, but more an acceptance that it's quite likely I'll reach a point where it's the best option and I'll build up enough courage to take it.
My situation is not your average "life situation" type suicide though, but is because I've been diagnosed with an incurable disabling illness.
I figure that once I get to the point where I can no longer do the things that I want to in my life, and I'm unable to replace them with anything else and start becoming a burden on my family I'll take one for the team.
My situation is not your average "life situation" type suicide though, but is because I've been diagnosed with an incurable disabling illness.
I figure that once I get to the point where I can no longer do the things that I want to in my life, and I'm unable to replace them with anything else and start becoming a burden on my family I'll take one for the team.
My way of thinking is 'most' people have this outward persona that we show to be all happy and carefree. Inwardly we are very different.
Just over 10 years ago I was in a very sorry state mentally and would often go out driving around local country lanes trying to lose control of the car in a vain attempt to kill myself due to not having the balls to do it any other way. I got through it and life got better and no one ever knew any different.
Unfortunately I am currently back in that sorry place but due to having 2 children who depend on me I have no choice but to carry on facing the world. The only difference is one person now has a vague idea that all is not well mentally with me. My work colleagues just see the act I put on on a daily basis - it get me through the day and home again where I can let that mask drop again for a few hours.
Just over 10 years ago I was in a very sorry state mentally and would often go out driving around local country lanes trying to lose control of the car in a vain attempt to kill myself due to not having the balls to do it any other way. I got through it and life got better and no one ever knew any different.
Unfortunately I am currently back in that sorry place but due to having 2 children who depend on me I have no choice but to carry on facing the world. The only difference is one person now has a vague idea that all is not well mentally with me. My work colleagues just see the act I put on on a daily basis - it get me through the day and home again where I can let that mask drop again for a few hours.
Ive been in that dark place in the past, i almost succeeded but i stopped myself at the last minute. ive only ever told one person face to face as I was too ashamed to tell anyone else. I still get crazy thoughts now and then when I'm really drunk but i can deal with that.
I had serious problems and shut everyone out and pretended i was ok. big mistake..
I had serious problems and shut everyone out and pretended i was ok. big mistake..
This is a subject that is close to my heart, i have 'caught' my father in the process of killing himself twice and managed to save him by getting him to hospital in time, he had very plausible reasons at the time and i almost had accepted his decision, and resigned myself to the fact he would try again and succeed, thank god he didn't and just by sticking around he managed to overcome his problems and is now (4 years on) a new man. He certainly appreciates the efforts i made then, and will do anything for me as a result. At the time i resented him for his decision to just leave everyone that loved him, and the subject of suicide made me see red. Fast forward three and a half years and one lonely saturday night i found myself sitting in my car in a hidden layby having taken an overdose of painkillers. The key is control of your problems and talking, obviously my attempt failed as i was found by the police and rushed to hospital. I recovered and very embarrassed faced everyone. I had forgotten how to share my problems and being a strong person didn't want to show weakness. I managed to break it down (retrospectively) to the fact of too many problems at once all boiled up inside me. Everyone has a threshold of pain and its the same with head capacity for stress, overstep the mark and you lose control. I can honestly say at the time not waking up in the morning seemed the best option and i even carried it out. Thank god my plan was spoilt and i am now eternally grateful to the guys that found me, as low and behold sharing my problems made anything solveable. Life is now good and i am a different person to the man i was six moths ago. But bearing in mind my past experience with suicide and then to attempt it myself shows how easy it is to do and how clouded your mind can get without you realising
sorry for the essay
sorry for the essay
Family member killed himself... but I cannot imagine anything or any situation that would leave me so low that it was an option.
Thats from a rational pov, I have not yet been pushed out of that frame of mind.
What causes the loss of perspective in those that do it that problems seem impoosible to deal with?
Thats from a rational pov, I have not yet been pushed out of that frame of mind.
What causes the loss of perspective in those that do it that problems seem impoosible to deal with?
one of my best mates from school had a terrible tragedy. both of his parents committed suicide within a week of each other (they lived in different parts of the country). I cannot imagine the grief and complete breakdown he must have gone through. I lived hundreds of miles away and could never get hold of him. I felt that i let him down, but 2 years later ive seen him a few times and he seems to be getting on with his life.
rich1231 said:
Family member killed himself... but I cannot imagine anything or any situation that would leave me so low that it was an option.
Thats from a rational pov, I have not yet been pushed out of that frame of mind.
What causes the loss of perspective in those that do it that problems seem impoosible to deal with?
personally - total inability (despite spending much time focusing on it) to find any way out of an ongoing and drawn out situation, the feeling that if you don't find a way out soon, your head will quite literally explode with the pressure build up. Imagine the feelings you'd have if the closest person in your life died. Then imagine that feeling lasting years. Day in Day out.Thats from a rational pov, I have not yet been pushed out of that frame of mind.
What causes the loss of perspective in those that do it that problems seem impoosible to deal with?
rich1231 said:
What causes the loss of perspective in those that do it that problems seem impoosible to deal with?
A drip-drip effect of mounting problems? I dunno, I am feeling quite lucky that bnothing has ever seemed bad enough that ending it all seemed viable.GPSS, did you mean that or are you trolling?
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