Alan Partridge
Poll: Alan Partridge
Total Members Polled: 353
Discussion
Highway Star said:
Distant said:
AP (whilst being felated by Jill in a darkened hotel room) "What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?"
"It'll make it easier for people in whHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLchairs"
"As well as improving access to Diiiiixxxxxxons""It'll make it easier for people in whHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLchairs"
And leading up to it....
"Let Battle Commence !"
I've yet to have the balls to try with the missus to see what reaction I get.
Neil_H said:
"You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. You make pigs smoke."
You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. Do you deny that? No, I think his silence speaks volumes. DeadMeat_UK said:
Highway Star said:
Distant said:
AP (whilst being felated by Jill in a darkened hotel room) "What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?"
"It'll make it easier for people in whHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLchairs"
"As well as improving access to Diiiiixxxxxxons""It'll make it easier for people in whHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLchairs"
And leading up to it....
"Let Battle Commence !"
"I wouldn't go in there for a bit"
Lynn: I picked up these brochures for the new Metro. It’s a lovely car. And if you do –
Alan: Lynn, I’m not driving a mini-Metro.
Lynn: But you do have to make substantial savings.
Alan: Lynn, I am not driving a mini-Metro.
Lynn: But if you do, you can keep Pear Tree Productions going with a skeleton staff of two, and –
Alan: There’s no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I am not driving a mini-Metro.
Lynn: But if you d –
Alan: Lynn! I’ll just speak over you.
Lynn: But –
Alan: No! Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Go on.
Lynn: With a skeleton staff of two –
Alan: I’m not driving a mini-Metro, I’m not driving a mini-Metro, I’m not driving a mini-Metro.
Lynn: No, no it’s different. It’s called a Rover Metro now.
Alan: They’ve rebadged it, you fool!
Alan: Lynn, I’m not driving a mini-Metro.
Lynn: But you do have to make substantial savings.
Alan: Lynn, I am not driving a mini-Metro.
Lynn: But if you do, you can keep Pear Tree Productions going with a skeleton staff of two, and –
Alan: There’s no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I am not driving a mini-Metro.
Lynn: But if you d –
Alan: Lynn! I’ll just speak over you.
Lynn: But –
Alan: No! Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Go on.
Lynn: With a skeleton staff of two –
Alan: I’m not driving a mini-Metro, I’m not driving a mini-Metro, I’m not driving a mini-Metro.
Lynn: No, no it’s different. It’s called a Rover Metro now.
Alan: They’ve rebadged it, you fool!
Distant said:
AP- "Tell me about the ladyboys"
Michael (tells story about a mate in the armys experience with a ladyboy)
"So he thinks I've come this far right, so he flips him over, grabs hold of the hold meat and two veg and ffff......(Noticing Lynne has just walked in) ....ffffunily enough it lands on its wheels, starts first time and they just drive off"
A classic... Partridge is absolute genius... Michael (tells story about a mate in the armys experience with a ladyboy)
"So he thinks I've come this far right, so he flips him over, grabs hold of the hold meat and two veg and ffff......(Noticing Lynne has just walked in) ....ffffunily enough it lands on its wheels, starts first time and they just drive off"
Most poignant moment for me:
Alan: Erm, can I have a couple of eggs for breakfast tomorrow?
Michael:Aye, certainly.
Alan:Yeah. [Angrily] And I'd like you to lay them, you chicken.
[Alan storms off into the lift. He is joined by Susan.]
Susan:Oh, hello Alan.
Alan:Hello, Susan. Third floor?
Susan:Third, yes, thank you.
[Alan and Susan stand side by side in silence. Alan keeps making furtive glances at Susan, who stares ahead. After a few seconds, the lift arrives at Alans floor. He starts to walk out.]
Alan:Right, well.
Susan:[Smiling] Are you getting out here, or are you going all the way with me?
Alan:[Anxiously] Im getting out here.
Susan:Right. Goodnight, Alan.
[The lift doors close.]
Alan:This country.
Alan: Erm, can I have a couple of eggs for breakfast tomorrow?
Michael:Aye, certainly.
Alan:Yeah. [Angrily] And I'd like you to lay them, you chicken.
[Alan storms off into the lift. He is joined by Susan.]
Susan:Oh, hello Alan.
Alan:Hello, Susan. Third floor?
Susan:Third, yes, thank you.
[Alan and Susan stand side by side in silence. Alan keeps making furtive glances at Susan, who stares ahead. After a few seconds, the lift arrives at Alans floor. He starts to walk out.]
Alan:Right, well.
Susan:[Smiling] Are you getting out here, or are you going all the way with me?
Alan:[Anxiously] Im getting out here.
Susan:Right. Goodnight, Alan.
[The lift doors close.]
Alan:This country.
DeadMeat_UK said:
Highway Star said:
Distant said:
AP (whilst being felated by Jill in a darkened hotel room) "What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?"
"It'll make it easier for people in whHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLchairs"
"As well as improving access to Diiiiixxxxxxons""It'll make it easier for people in whHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLchairs"
And leading up to it....
"Let Battle Commence !"
I've yet to have the balls to try with the missus to see what reaction I get.
Should i move on to the other one now?"
I actually said that to a girl once, although I found it difficult to enjoy myself after that, was concentrating too hard on not bursting out laughing....
Distant said:
DeadMeat_UK said:
Highway Star said:
Distant said:
AP (whilst being felated by Jill in a darkened hotel room) "What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?"
"It'll make it easier for people in whHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLchairs"
"As well as improving access to Diiiiixxxxxxons""It'll make it easier for people in whHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLchairs"
And leading up to it....
"Let Battle Commence !"
I've yet to have the balls to try with the missus to see what reaction I get.
Should i move on to the other one now?"
I actually said that to a girl once, although I found it difficult to enjoy myself after that, was concentrating too hard on not bursting out laughing....
If you can ever find the out takes from that, see how many takes it took Michael and coogan to do the scene when he knocked on the door and AP had mousse all round his mouth, was very funny!
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