Returning From Living in France?

[Mike49]

I think it all depends on your intentions when you emigrate. We left England in 2007, sold everything, closed all accounts and intentionally moved to an area with very few brits. This forced me to improve my french (my wife is french) and we and our children integrated. Note I say integrated , since rural France is special and unless your family has been there for several generations you will always be seen as an outsider. This is not an issue and you just have to make your own niche.

Tradesmen, I have used both brits and french, both have been fine. We both work for industrial manufacturing companies as salaried employees and I think that this is key to our happiness, since it allows you to have a life outside of home life and to be more financially stable.
We will not move back but of course we miss things, (pubs, curry, english mannerisms and humour).

Brexit etc never really affected us since I have a permanent titre de séjour, the children have dual nationality and one works in London, one in France. Over the years we've seen many brits come and go and unfortunately it's rare that they have the language skills which allow them to achieve financial stability. So I understand completely those who move to areas with high levels of brits. Horses for courses!

[smifffymoto]

Of course,it’s different for everyone.
I haven’t been to to UK for 4 years and little has changed,I slotted straight back in and everything was familiar.
The number 1 thing I have learned this week while being back is how much I miss my family and how much my children miss them.

[Kerniki]

The people who struggle are the social types imo, looking to make friends, fit in with locals etc. They seem to be the ones who give up mostly or are very unhappy.

We moved here to get away from the numbers of english & to a degree, their mentality & certainly were under no impression that the french were any better!

We’re very different to most, we love our acreage and the boundaries it creates, we pick the moments we chose to socialise away from our home and keep our place as a complete haven away from people, friendly when we meet people but everyone is kept at arms length as we dont really need them in our lives tbh, us & our dogs is all we need and its been 12 years of bliss!

Zero integration, we just let them get on with their lives & chatter, which they seem to enjoy

[rdjohn]

I think if you suddenly found yourself in Sniffy’s situation you will find yourself lost with no one to turn to.

Stuff happens when you least expect it.

[harrycovert]

I think it's all about striking a balance The first place we had we got sucked in to the family that sold us the house Whilst this was good in the beginning helping us to get settled, it soon became oppressive .The place we have now we have good neighbours who help out when needed, but otherwise keep their distance

[Rushjob]

rdjohn said:

I think if you suddenly found yourself in Sniffy’s situation you will find yourself lost with no one to turn to.

Stuff happens when you least expect it.

This ^^^

We've just spent our first permanent night in our new place in Spain having moved down here from France to be closer to my FIL since he was widowed, he found it difficult even with a good group of local friends so trying to cope when you're a little insular to me would be incredibly difficult.

[Mr Magooagain]

Rushjob said:

rdjohn said:

I think if you suddenly found yourself in Sniffy’s situation you will find yourself lost with no one to turn to.

Stuff happens when you least expect it.

This ^^^

We've just spent our first permanent night in our new place in Spain having moved down here from France to be closer to my FIL since he was widowed, he found it difficult even with a good group of local friends so trying to cope when you're a little insular to me would be incredibly difficult.

Agreed. Just a few days ago I was saying to my wife that we've ‘ been there’ for so many people here that have needed help in many ways but there will be no one to help us when/if the time comes.
As others have said we just have to plan as best we can.

[Kerniki]

rdjohn said:

I think if you suddenly found yourself in Sniffy’s situation you will find yourself lost with no one to turn to.

Stuff happens when you least expect it.

Probably worse in some ways as we dont have children or family, always been just us since we were teenagers

we’ve always known it’ll be tough when one of us goes tbh but friends or acquaintances with their sympathy wouldnt make it easier, either of us would just find it patronising.

We often talk about the ‘what if’ and we both know what the other will do to make things bearable and we both know that life would never be as good again, we’ve remained children together and have had and are having a complete blast but know we’re cashing out to zero together.

France has and is home for now but we’re open to playing elsewhere at some point when we get bored, we’re actually trying to elongate this period in france by negating winters (which are horrible in france, worse than uk imo) and manage this by disappearing to the sun for the while of winter, it works.. we’re always looking forward to spring in rural france.

For us there is nowhere finer in the world right now, driving roads better than anywhere else in europe (we do a lot of driving tours) incredible chateaux for dinning, where we live is prefect for those particular months of the year and how we run our lives, its not about markets, wine, fois grois & vide griniers but the feeling of freedom you get from big wide open deserted roads to drive on and chat as we go..

But yes, some day its going to be tough, as it will for all of us who share our lives, for some its easier if you have friends and someones shoulder to cry on but like i said, we’re very different and always have been, having friends would be a burden before and after.

Edited by Kerniki on Sunday 18th February 17:56

[paulwirral]

Kerniki said:

The people who struggle are the social types imo, looking to make friends, fit in with locals etc. They seem to be the ones who give up mostly or are very unhappy.

We moved here to get away from the numbers of english & to a degree, their mentality & certainly were under no impression that the french were any better!

We’re very different to most, we love our acreage and the boundaries it creates, we pick the moments we chose to socialise away from our home and keep our place as a complete haven away from people, friendly when we meet people but everyone is kept at arms length as we dont really need them in our lives tbh, us & our dogs is all we need and its been 12 years of bliss!

Zero integration, we just let them get on with their lives & chatter, which they seem to enjoy

The first part of this post I found to be very true , when we tried living there we found it to quiet , unfortunately we’re very sociable and will give anyone the time of day .
Most English we came across were more interested in telling us how well they’d done and how big their houses were .

One couple we met were literally living in the road behind us in Harrogate when we lived there and he was from ten miles along the road from where I spent my childhood, he was only a few years younger than me and also in the building trade but they weren’t interested in socialising .
We eventually sold the first house and I kept a scrap of land next door to it and I went back after a few years to build a holiday house , as I was there most of the time alone working my friends ended up being a couple of Dutch girls and a Thai lady and her
daughter , not exactly integrating was I!
The neighbours were great and always willing to lend a hand though , mainly because the thought I was nuts for building a house alone . All the people I dealt with were good too , but everyone is nice when you’re spending money with them .
We ended up selling the holiday home too as I got an offer I couldn’t refuse , before brexit and covid , and it turned out to be the right decision.
Everyone’s different and we all like different things , but if you ike a quiet slow paced life and your happy with your own company then I can happily recommend France .