1st Joke then

[krusty]

A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping.
While in the sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt
and says to his sister, "I've decided to be an England supporter and I would
like this for my birthday."

His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head
and says, "Go talk to your mother."

So off goes the little lad with the white and red football shirt in hand
and finds his mother.

"Mum?"

"Yes son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this
shirt for my birthday".

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head twice
and says, "Go talk to your father."

Off he goes with the football shirt in hand and finds his father.

"Dad?"
"Yes son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this
shirt for my birthday."

The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head 4
times and says:

"No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards
home.

The father turns to his son and says;

"Son, I hope you've learned something today?"

The son says,

"Yes dad I have."

"Good son, what is it?"

The son replies,

"I've only been an England supporter for an hour and already I hate
you German B@stards"

[Phil Hopkins]

Rooney's been told he can play in the world cup if he gets a Cortizone injection. Beckham said: "If that fat ers getting a new car, then so am I!"

[Alex]

Phil Hopkins said:

Rooney's been told he can play in the world cup if he gets a Cortizone injection. Beckham said: "If that fat ers getting a new car, then so am I!"

I'm going to sue, you thief!

Here's another one (which I heard in a World Cup song on the radio this morning):

Germany's top player, Michael Ballack is injured.

And as everyone knows, the Germans have only got one Ballack!