People making your life difficult at work
Discussion
Jimslips said:
Nope. There are less than 15 of us and we have been on a couple of nights out and she has barely said more than a sentence to me. I keep thinking of asking if I have done something to offend her, but I know if someone asked me that and I didn't like that it wouldn't make one bit of difference. She probably just does not like me as we don't gel / have little in common / I don't pay her wages. I have one theory is that she may be jealous of my salary as we are a similar age and would know what it is as she gave me my 'welcome to work' sheet which had my wage on the front sheet... It probably should have been more confidential as she is not HR.
That can create a chasm. It did when I started with a co' a good number of years ago, one guy really got the hump.We're best mates now!!
Big Rod said:
That can create a chasm. It did when I started with a co' a good number of years ago, one guy really got the hump.
We're best mates now!!
edit...We're best mates now!!
Chasm, I presume you mean it might make things worse before they get better?
Ooops, I have just read properly what you quoted. Perhaps I should ask her what the issue is?! Can't really get any worse.
Edited by Jimslips on Friday 28th October 20:10
!! LOLJimslips said:
This was my plan. Prove I am worth even more which will make the directors like me more and put her in an awkward position. I already am worth more as I have years more experience than her and I am able to use important software than no one else has a strong grasp of (requires good technical knowledge)
I think this post is telling, you feel superior to her despite being at the same 'level' - plenty will take offence at this attitude (rightly or wrongly). The salary issue just exacerbates it.Damn, I really don't think that. I don't think I act like that either. I even struggled to 'sell' my gathered skills in interview for the first while, until something clicked, gave myself a shake and told them what I can do for them...I don't think I give off that attitude day to day. Nothing worse than arrogant people. It's just that my experience allows me to ask for higher pay. She is better than me at plenty of things. From her perspective, it would be natural to be jealous of people same age, earning more. She seemed to spend a lot of time telling me how great her life was and her house etc and how much her other half earns whereas I told her next to nothing. Maybe she never got enough attention. I'll never know.
Edited by Jimslips on Friday 28th October 20:45
Are you making your fair share of the brews in the office? Without being told to do it? Seriously it could be as little as that.
Another serious recommendation to read 'How to win friends and influence people'. Show a genuine interest in each of your colleagues, remember or make a note of their birthdays/kids names/partners names/partners jobs/home situation. Casually mention/drop into conversation the odd subtle hint that you remember these things. Notice/mention casually their new car, hair cut, new suit, e.g. NOT 'WOW what a nice new suit' but 'Can I ask where you got your suit? All the ones I have been looking at look cheap' etc etc. Most people love to talk about themselves and the great choices they make.
If it is just one person being a knob and there's only a few of you in a small office, I might announce to everyone that you realise you have not made the effort to 'get the lunch in' and that you invite everyone to 'lunch on you today'!
ETA - by all means believe you are better than everyone else. But never show that you believe it. Never directly tell colleagues they are wrong. One replaceable person that does not get on with everyone else might stand out to the Directors as rocking the boat.
Another serious recommendation to read 'How to win friends and influence people'. Show a genuine interest in each of your colleagues, remember or make a note of their birthdays/kids names/partners names/partners jobs/home situation. Casually mention/drop into conversation the odd subtle hint that you remember these things. Notice/mention casually their new car, hair cut, new suit, e.g. NOT 'WOW what a nice new suit' but 'Can I ask where you got your suit? All the ones I have been looking at look cheap' etc etc. Most people love to talk about themselves and the great choices they make.
If it is just one person being a knob and there's only a few of you in a small office, I might announce to everyone that you realise you have not made the effort to 'get the lunch in' and that you invite everyone to 'lunch on you today'!
ETA - by all means believe you are better than everyone else. But never show that you believe it. Never directly tell colleagues they are wrong. One replaceable person that does not get on with everyone else might stand out to the Directors as rocking the boat.
Edited by TurricanII on Friday 28th October 21:06
I would add, some people are just pricks, and no amount of effort will help. In this case the subtle complements may be the answer, or asking her for help in the job even though you know it (and bite your tongue!). She may fall over herself to show you how good she is. But make the aforementioned genuine effort regardless and with everyone in the office. If she is the only prick then soon enough she will have to make an effort herself or he will be the odd one out.
TurricanII said:
I would add, some people are just pricks, and no amount of effort will help. In this case the subtle complements may be the answer, or asking her for help in the job even though you know it (and bite your tongue!). She may fall over herself to show you how good she is. But make the aforementioned genuine effort regardless and with everyone in the office. If she is the only prick then soon enough she will have to make an effort herself or he will be the odd one out.
Thanks for those responses. In previous roles, I could deal with pricks fine, cos I knew that's what they were like. With her it seems like she is just a prick to me and sucks up to everyone else. This could make my life difficult if she tries to pass on snide comments to the rest of the work mates (especially directors) to try and show me in a bad light and believe has the potential to be very dangerous (based on experience) and so will do my up-most to avoid it / conflict. She has done so many things only to me that have been most odd such as running through to my office "HAVE YOU GOT MY CUP", "errr, not sure?!", her: "yeah you have, that's mine" - she then goes away in huff.Jimslips said:
I don't believe I am better than her at all, I am just in a position to take a more responsible job because I have worked hard to get it. More so than other friends who I felt didn't need to study half as hard to get what they have, it was 'natural' to many of them.
Really. Ooops. Mr GrimNasty said:
Really. Ooops.
Pardon me? Oops, what?As said above, even if one does believe they are better than someone, don't show it, fair enough? Right?
Certain people that have responded just seem intent on picking select works for a short, so called, 'witty', and/or, sarcastic response. That's the PH way I suppose
Edited by Jimslips on Friday 28th October 22:32
Gassing Station | Jobs & Employment Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff