People making your life difficult at work
Discussion
bazking69 said:
If you don't like workplace politics go self-employed. Sadly every workplace has one idiot who gets off on acting above their station.
This is the ultimate plan but will take quite a bit of time yet. 
I suppose it is politics. The office is so small, it makes it very difficult to ignore.
Office politics and oneupmanship. Some people will happily s
t on a colleague to their boss to get brownie points if they, often mistakenly, think it will get them recognition.
Eitherway, it is still something that plagues most offices and my recommendation is to ignore it, don't get drawn into games and never slag anyone off to anyone.
t on a colleague to their boss to get brownie points if they, often mistakenly, think it will get them recognition. Eitherway, it is still something that plagues most offices and my recommendation is to ignore it, don't get drawn into games and never slag anyone off to anyone.
bazking69 said:
Office politics and oneupmanship. Some people will happily st on a colleague to their boss to get brownie points if they, often mistakenly, think it will get them recognition.
Eitherway, it is still something that plagues most offices and my recommendation is to ignore it, don't get drawn into games and never slag anyone off to anyone.
Absolutely agree. Experienced it in a big way before and kept my head down as I was responsible for my own tasks as what I did was fairly 'specialized'. It's the same in my new job, same tasks as before (almost), and a bit more varied due to size of the business but it seems like people still enjoy doing this. I find it most odd. She spends to much time pretending to be so 'happy' with her life, ie being super nice, loving the attention. Yet she has the side to her I have seen and gets VERY close to her wage payers on the nights out. t on a colleague to their boss to get brownie points if they, often mistakenly, think it will get them recognition. Eitherway, it is still something that plagues most offices and my recommendation is to ignore it, don't get drawn into games and never slag anyone off to anyone.
I will be doing my best to ignore it and keep my head down as most people would advise and very much hope it is all my imagination and can't have any negative impact on my job, day to day.
I presume you have had your fair share to deal witn, Baz?
Jimslips said:
It was only yesterday they went out for lunch and I wasn't at my desk so they may have thought I was out already. They were working on something as a group as well and I didn't need to be involved so perhaps I am being overly paranoid. When I asked the guy next to me, 'where did you head for lunch', he paused before he replied, seemed a little sheepish. I think asking might make it more 'awkward'. I would ask if it persisted and I was sure it isn't paranoia.
You might be being paranoid.Why not ask to join them next time? (and when you do so, pretend you to yourself weren't hurt or feel left out so it comes across ok and not snippy)
Wipe the sheet blank as far as this woman is concerned and pretend you've only just met (except don't go as far as blanking her, asking her for her name etc). Sometimes that works just to clear the air to allow a better relationship to form.
Not really.
I'm pretty easy going and tend to get on with people, even if I think they are a tit and the politeness is a face. I've grown pretty thick skin over the years and just brush off the BS and politics on the rare occasions I suffer it, which we all do at some point.
I tend to be the guy who sits at the back and observes it all going on, not passing opinion or getting involved. It's taught me to not get involved unless you have to and never to badmouth anyone to anyone because it will come back to bite you.
Diplomacy and just getting on with what you are paid to makes for an easy and happy life.
I'm pretty easy going and tend to get on with people, even if I think they are a tit and the politeness is a face. I've grown pretty thick skin over the years and just brush off the BS and politics on the rare occasions I suffer it, which we all do at some point.
I tend to be the guy who sits at the back and observes it all going on, not passing opinion or getting involved. It's taught me to not get involved unless you have to and never to badmouth anyone to anyone because it will come back to bite you.
Diplomacy and just getting on with what you are paid to makes for an easy and happy life.
I'm amazed, what with this beng PH and all, that no-one yet has asked if she's 'fit' or for pics 
Anyway, I've had similar stuff from time to time, when it has come to my atention that people I was barely aware of have taken a dislike to me for some reason that they have imagined. Some people are like that. They decide that you hold a negative attitude towards them, and start acting accordingly. In my case this has only happened with blokes, so I haven't worried about it. If it had happened with a woman then I think I might have been tempted to do something to indicate that I in fact held a postitive attitude toward her. What that might be would vary according to the circumstances.
Anyway, I've had similar stuff from time to time, when it has come to my atention that people I was barely aware of have taken a dislike to me for some reason that they have imagined. Some people are like that. They decide that you hold a negative attitude towards them, and start acting accordingly. In my case this has only happened with blokes, so I haven't worried about it. If it had happened with a woman then I think I might have been tempted to do something to indicate that I in fact held a postitive attitude toward her. What that might be would vary according to the circumstances.
So, you have a mardy colleague who happens to be a woman...
First of all, she's not your girlfriend - Do not pander to her emotional needs. Stay polite, but firm, others will have noticed the exclusive atmosphere and probably hope (like you) that it's a passing phase. If it continues, she will be the one that will be excluded.
As you're new, buy cakes one morning and invite everyone before they start work. Summarise wittily your first few weeks and thank everyone collectively for their suggestions and support. Maybe ask your boss beforehand to see if it's OK, he might use it as an opportunity to add his support.
Hope this helps.
PS - Never ever confront her, you will be like a rabbit in front of a car's headlights. The first screaming woman in front of you at work will leave you bewildered - Avoid.
First of all, she's not your girlfriend - Do not pander to her emotional needs. Stay polite, but firm, others will have noticed the exclusive atmosphere and probably hope (like you) that it's a passing phase. If it continues, she will be the one that will be excluded.
As you're new, buy cakes one morning and invite everyone before they start work. Summarise wittily your first few weeks and thank everyone collectively for their suggestions and support. Maybe ask your boss beforehand to see if it's OK, he might use it as an opportunity to add his support.
Hope this helps.
PS - Never ever confront her, you will be like a rabbit in front of a car's headlights. The first screaming woman in front of you at work will leave you bewildered - Avoid.
It's ok, I have been in my position for 11 years & been with the company for 17 years & in the process of training our new guy up who has been with us for 1 year & he has just been made permanent within our department & put straight on the same salary as me! He is nowhere near fully trained because this takes years, yet he earns the same as me.... Oh, he is also behind me in terms of job title & I am also incharge of the department if the manager is away.....
singlecoil said:
I'm amazed, what with this beng PH and all, that no-one yet has asked if she's 'fit' or for pics
Anyway, I've had similar stuff from time to time, when it has come to my atention that people I was barely aware of have taken a dislike to me for some reason that they have imagined. Some people are like that. They decide that you hold a negative attitude towards them, and start acting accordingly. In my case this has only happened with blokes, so I haven't worried about it. If it had happened with a woman then I think I might have been tempted to do something to indicate that I in fact held a postitive attitude toward her. What that might be would vary according to the circumstances.
As I said earlier when I was on my mobile...it's a vicious spiral. She may think I dislike her, she then acts odd to me, so on and so forth.Anyway, I've had similar stuff from time to time, when it has come to my atention that people I was barely aware of have taken a dislike to me for some reason that they have imagined. Some people are like that. They decide that you hold a negative attitude towards them, and start acting accordingly. In my case this has only happened with blokes, so I haven't worried about it. If it had happened with a woman then I think I might have been tempted to do something to indicate that I in fact held a postitive attitude toward her. What that might be would vary according to the circumstances.
Jimslips said:
What do you mean thank people for their suggestions and support? Support for what?
Having started at the company, I presume that you needed to learn anything from where the coffee machine is to the ins and outs of the latest offering or product.So basically thanking anyone who has pointed you in the right direction or answered your questions. From what I hear, you have some colleagues, right?
Jimslips said:
singlecoil said:
I'm amazed, what with this beng PH and all, that no-one yet has asked if she's 'fit' or for pics
Anyway, I've had similar stuff from time to time, when it has come to my atention that people I was barely aware of have taken a dislike to me for some reason that they have imagined. Some people are like that. They decide that you hold a negative attitude towards them, and start acting accordingly. In my case this has only happened with blokes, so I haven't worried about it. If it had happened with a woman then I think I might have been tempted to do something to indicate that I in fact held a postitive attitude toward her. What that might be would vary according to the circumstances.
As I said earlier when I was on my mobile...it's a vicious spiral. She may think I dislike her, she then acts odd to me, so on and so forth.Anyway, I've had similar stuff from time to time, when it has come to my atention that people I was barely aware of have taken a dislike to me for some reason that they have imagined. Some people are like that. They decide that you hold a negative attitude towards them, and start acting accordingly. In my case this has only happened with blokes, so I haven't worried about it. If it had happened with a woman then I think I might have been tempted to do something to indicate that I in fact held a postitive attitude toward her. What that might be would vary according to the circumstances.
don't worry about it but if she continues to piss you off
buy Femfresh Deodorant 125ml Female Hygiene Spray (available at all good chemists) and surreptitiously place it in her desk
she will panic suffer low self esteem become paranoid about vaginal odours and you will have the last laugh
good luck
buy Femfresh Deodorant 125ml Female Hygiene Spray (available at all good chemists) and surreptitiously place it in her desk
she will panic suffer low self esteem become paranoid about vaginal odours and you will have the last laugh
good luck
If a situation is bothering you, it's you who has to make the changes. But please take small steps.
If both of you have a boring 8-5 noname job:
- Step off your high horse and make coffee. Ask her if she needs anything before going out and underway.
- Compliment her bureau plants, but not with "wow these are awesome!", but more with a "you take good care of your plants, I have to confess I'm not that good at it".
- Make it a habit to greet her first in the morning, atleast of the people on your job level.
If you both have a middle management job:
- Share work related information with her. Even people who hate you or are trying to ignore you have the natural urge for shared information.
- Ask her for advise. But not with a "how can I fix this problem?", but more with a "help me to decide between two different options for fixing this problem".
If both of you have a boring 8-5 noname job:
- Step off your high horse and make coffee. Ask her if she needs anything before going out and underway.
- Compliment her bureau plants, but not with "wow these are awesome!", but more with a "you take good care of your plants, I have to confess I'm not that good at it".
- Make it a habit to greet her first in the morning, atleast of the people on your job level.
If you both have a middle management job:
- Share work related information with her. Even people who hate you or are trying to ignore you have the natural urge for shared information.
- Ask her for advise. But not with a "how can I fix this problem?", but more with a "help me to decide between two different options for fixing this problem".
Edited by lipadier on Sunday 30th October 16:53
Jimslips said:
I have one theory is that she may be jealous of my salary as we are a similar age and would know what it is as she gave me my 'welcome to work' sheet which had my wage on the front sheet... It probably should have been more confidential as she is not HR.
Only got this far so far and suspect that this is quite a likely one.g/f had a job where, as a contractor, she was earning a far higher salary that the other people in her team, one of whom had been covering the role for 3 months before her arrival. Everything was roses until after about 4 weeks HR e-mail the entire team the pay details of the whole department. To say attitudes were changed over night would be an understatement. No longer was she invited for drinks after work, hints and tips about how the employer implemented the systems disappeared and generally instead of the ‘all part of the team’ attitude there had been she was ostracised – not much fun when you are in a small busy basement office with 4 others 9-10 hours a day.
FWIW she stuck it out, with 3 contract extensions as well, and after 6 months there was only one person who still appeared to haev a chip on their shoulders about it and, quite frankly, that was the least of that person's 'issues'.
I'm an easy going guy and get on well with most of the people in the office including a girl that I work quite closely with. However, hard as I've tried cannot get on with one girl and sometimes I feel she looks at me like she hates my guts (although I've never done anything to cause any upset).
Like you it got me down for some time but have decided that I'm not going to feel bad about it anymore as I haven't been unpleasant to her.
Thus I like to think that there's a fine line between love and hate and secretly she fancies the pants off me. Hence the cold shoulder treatment as she's scared of what may happen if she were to let go of her inhibitions.
Okay so I'm bloody dreaming but it makes me feel less bad about the whole thing.
Like you it got me down for some time but have decided that I'm not going to feel bad about it anymore as I haven't been unpleasant to her.
Thus I like to think that there's a fine line between love and hate and secretly she fancies the pants off me. Hence the cold shoulder treatment as she's scared of what may happen if she were to let go of her inhibitions.
Okay so I'm bloody dreaming but it makes me feel less bad about the whole thing.
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