Taking an opportunity and leaping out of comfort zone
Discussion
Stepping into a new role is a challenge and being the only one is just that much harder but more rewarding. Your boss is pleased which is good.
As you get to grips with all the challenges you will see things that can be fixed, improved, etc make a note so you will build up a list of things that need attention then prioritise them. You will always get those panics that need immediate attention as they are business critical but that is the nature of the job. Do not underestimate the effort that goes into not having problems and everything just working.
When I joined a startup it was scary, I had been warned not to work for the chap who started the company but joined anyway and it has worked out very well. He was a very good engineer who had the horrible ability to just cut through all the excuses and get straight to the point, very uncomfortable experience.
What I would say is when things are broken or being fixed, keeping people in the loop with progress, etc with a quick e-mail means you don't get bothered with lots of questions while you are working on the problem. Our previous It guy was really good, his replacement is not so good at keeping people informed.
As you get to grips with all the challenges you will see things that can be fixed, improved, etc make a note so you will build up a list of things that need attention then prioritise them. You will always get those panics that need immediate attention as they are business critical but that is the nature of the job. Do not underestimate the effort that goes into not having problems and everything just working.
When I joined a startup it was scary, I had been warned not to work for the chap who started the company but joined anyway and it has worked out very well. He was a very good engineer who had the horrible ability to just cut through all the excuses and get straight to the point, very uncomfortable experience.
What I would say is when things are broken or being fixed, keeping people in the loop with progress, etc with a quick e-mail means you don't get bothered with lots of questions while you are working on the problem. Our previous It guy was really good, his replacement is not so good at keeping people informed.
Thanks Gottans. One of my strong points is my communication.
Well, I'm into the fourth week and I'm still there. I am still a bag of nerves though and am taking each day as it comes. Still not 100% sure if I'm suitable for the job, but am sticking with it to see properly.
I think everyone here is please with me. They won't know the inner turmoil I have though.
It's especially nerve wracking as my manager has gone on a business trip for three days. He is contactable, but I am worrying about issues emerging that I need him to help with fixing. Oh well, I can only do what I can. I've still only been here just over three weeks.
Hope everyone who has contributed to this thread is getting on ok in the job world.
Well, I'm into the fourth week and I'm still there. I am still a bag of nerves though and am taking each day as it comes. Still not 100% sure if I'm suitable for the job, but am sticking with it to see properly.
I think everyone here is please with me. They won't know the inner turmoil I have though.
It's especially nerve wracking as my manager has gone on a business trip for three days. He is contactable, but I am worrying about issues emerging that I need him to help with fixing. Oh well, I can only do what I can. I've still only been here just over three weeks.
Hope everyone who has contributed to this thread is getting on ok in the job world.
The inner turmoil is yours by ownership and of your making. A little bit of nerves/stress is good but too much will make you ill.
If 'they' are happy with you then who is putting pressure on you? I'll give you a clue. Is there a mirror in the gents toilet?
Go, on. Give yourself a break and accept your're doing OK.
Looks like I need to start job hunting soon though so I may be in the same boat soon. I may need to read my own advice.
If 'they' are happy with you then who is putting pressure on you? I'll give you a clue. Is there a mirror in the gents toilet?
Go, on. Give yourself a break and accept your're doing OK.
Looks like I need to start job hunting soon though so I may be in the same boat soon. I may need to read my own advice.
I agree tyre tread. OP - You need to hear this:
Take a f
king chill pill! You're so highly-strung and need to calm yourself down. Youv'e changed jobs and there's still some adjustment to make. But, the fact is this: your new employers and colleagues don't see it as the big deal that you do. You're a capable and undoubtedly a good guy so this will work out whether you keep feeling stressed or not.
The point I'm trying to make is that your inner worry is totally unnecessary and irrelevant.
Just soak up the knowledge, apply it, develop and hone it and switch off when you're at home. Enjoy your free time. It's really not a big deal.
Take a f
king chill pill! You're so highly-strung and need to calm yourself down. Youv'e changed jobs and there's still some adjustment to make. But, the fact is this: your new employers and colleagues don't see it as the big deal that you do. You're a capable and undoubtedly a good guy so this will work out whether you keep feeling stressed or not. The point I'm trying to make is that your inner worry is totally unnecessary and irrelevant.
Just soak up the knowledge, apply it, develop and hone it and switch off when you're at home. Enjoy your free time. It's really not a big deal.
Thanks chaps.
Yes, I do put tremendous pressure on myself. I am a worrier though, so struggle to apply a chill pill.
I guess I do hide it ok though because nobody else picks up on it.
Hope your job searching goes ok Tyre.
Thanks for the post Pferdestarke. I will try to calm down a bit. Inside, I do probably resemble a frightened rabbit. I just need to manage the stress better. If I can't fix something, I need to speak to someone who can and ensure it is fixed. There is nothing more I can do so I need to start telling myself that.
Yes, I do put tremendous pressure on myself. I am a worrier though, so struggle to apply a chill pill.
I guess I do hide it ok though because nobody else picks up on it.
Hope your job searching goes ok Tyre.
Thanks for the post Pferdestarke. I will try to calm down a bit. Inside, I do probably resemble a frightened rabbit. I just need to manage the stress better. If I can't fix something, I need to speak to someone who can and ensure it is fixed. There is nothing more I can do so I need to start telling myself that.
Trying to calm down a bit doesn't work. Trying to do anything isn't the answer.
It's a permission thing. You must ALLOW youself not to get worked up about things. I know it may sound silly but there really is a difference. Attempt vs acceptance.
Don't do it because we say you have to, only allow youself to feel calmer if you think its the right thing to do.
If you want to remain stressed then you can. IYSWIM.
It's a permission thing. You must ALLOW youself not to get worked up about things. I know it may sound silly but there really is a difference. Attempt vs acceptance.
Don't do it because we say you have to, only allow youself to feel calmer if you think its the right thing to do.
If you want to remain stressed then you can. IYSWIM.
Tyre Tread said:
Trying to calm down a bit doesn't work. Trying to do anything isn't the answer.
It's a permission thing. You must ALLOW youself not to get worked up about things. I know it may sound silly but there really is a difference. Attempt vs acceptance.
Don't do it because we say you have to, only allow youself to feel calmer if you think its the right thing to do.
If you want to remain stressed then you can. IYSWIM.
It's a permission thing. You must ALLOW youself not to get worked up about things. I know it may sound silly but there really is a difference. Attempt vs acceptance.
Don't do it because we say you have to, only allow youself to feel calmer if you think its the right thing to do.
If you want to remain stressed then you can. IYSWIM.
I see what you mean.
Some very very good advice above. Please take it to heart.
You've been at the new place about 5 minutes and are fresh out of an abusive relationship. No matter what you did at the old place it was never good enough, so you tried harder and harder and still, it wasn't good enough. That is baggage that you'll carry that with you for a while as that is all you have had for the past 6 years.
3 weeks in and you have found and started to fix problems. You have identified improvements and far more importantly you have started to gain a "big picture" of what you are dealing with. You cannot be expected to eat an elephant, or start to plan to eat an elephant if you have no idea a) what an elephant looks like b)how big an elephant is c) where the elephant is and d) what tools you have at your disposal.
You seem worried that it is not perfect. This is understandable as you say you are a worrier and the past 6 years don't sound like they have been very good for your self belief.
Forget perfection, it doesn't exist. If you can leave work most days at the end of the day with it a little better (or at least not a little worse!) then you are are winning and doing a good job. Rome wasn't built in a day etc.
3 weeks is nothing. 6 months really is a very short time. In about a year you should be able to roughly describe your elephant.
Seriously, relax. Stop worrying about your role and let yourself relax into your role. Give yourself time. You will never be able to solve everything at once for everyone.
It sounds to me as if you are doing very well. A lot of people I have met are still looking for the coffee machine and picking their desktop background after 3 weeks. You've already had some successes.
Keep going, allow yourself to enjoy it, realise that this lot are not like the other lot. Lose the baggage!
Good luck.
You've been at the new place about 5 minutes and are fresh out of an abusive relationship. No matter what you did at the old place it was never good enough, so you tried harder and harder and still, it wasn't good enough. That is baggage that you'll carry that with you for a while as that is all you have had for the past 6 years.
3 weeks in and you have found and started to fix problems. You have identified improvements and far more importantly you have started to gain a "big picture" of what you are dealing with. You cannot be expected to eat an elephant, or start to plan to eat an elephant if you have no idea a) what an elephant looks like b)how big an elephant is c) where the elephant is and d) what tools you have at your disposal.
You seem worried that it is not perfect. This is understandable as you say you are a worrier and the past 6 years don't sound like they have been very good for your self belief.
Forget perfection, it doesn't exist. If you can leave work most days at the end of the day with it a little better (or at least not a little worse!) then you are are winning and doing a good job. Rome wasn't built in a day etc.
3 weeks is nothing. 6 months really is a very short time. In about a year you should be able to roughly describe your elephant.
Seriously, relax. Stop worrying about your role and let yourself relax into your role. Give yourself time. You will never be able to solve everything at once for everyone.
It sounds to me as if you are doing very well. A lot of people I have met are still looking for the coffee machine and picking their desktop background after 3 weeks. You've already had some successes.
Keep going, allow yourself to enjoy it, realise that this lot are not like the other lot. Lose the baggage!
Good luck.
Hope it's still going well. A new job is always slightly scary, but you get used to learning things on the fly at the start. No one can be great at their job and have all the knowledge to hand as soon as they begin. If you do, you're probably selling yourself short by not stretching your skills!
MattSqu said:
Hope it's still going well. A new job is always slightly scary, but you get used to learning things on the fly at the start. No one can be great at their job and have all the knowledge to hand as soon as they begin. If you do, you're probably selling yourself short by not stretching your skills!
One month nearly over and still there. I'm taking the time to absorb the helpful advice given on this thread and seeing how this can help my feelings towards this role.
Still lacking the confidence, but that is something that should improve in time. We'll see.
I've had another read of this thread this morning.
The old nerves are playing havoc as I'm on my own once again.
I have taken in everything said above, but am still struggling. I guess the hardest times for me at the moment are when my support people (manager & IT contractor) aren't around. It's difficult.
Again, I have only been here just over four weeks now. I guess it's just me that puts so much pressure on myself. I need a stern talking with myself in the toilets I think.
The old nerves are playing havoc as I'm on my own once again.
I have taken in everything said above, but am still struggling. I guess the hardest times for me at the moment are when my support people (manager & IT contractor) aren't around. It's difficult.
Again, I have only been here just over four weeks now. I guess it's just me that puts so much pressure on myself. I need a stern talking with myself in the toilets I think.
Your managers won't be there to oversee everything you do on a daily basis and you should be thankful for that. There's nothing worse than someone sitting on your shoulders trying to steer your every move.
It appears that when your perceived safety net is removed a little panic sets it and you need reassurance. So do most people when they're still learning a new role. It will get easier over time and I imagine you've picked up a lot of new skills already.
Make a real effort to get to know some of your new colleagues and talk to them about anything but work. When you have done this, gather a deeper understanding of their role and how yours can assist them in doing a better job. Then relax and get on with the task in hand. It'll be like shelling peas come the New Year.
Stop talking about it with your partner. She'll be tiring of having to reassure you all the time. She wants a man. Not a worryer.
It appears that when your perceived safety net is removed a little panic sets it and you need reassurance. So do most people when they're still learning a new role. It will get easier over time and I imagine you've picked up a lot of new skills already.
Make a real effort to get to know some of your new colleagues and talk to them about anything but work. When you have done this, gather a deeper understanding of their role and how yours can assist them in doing a better job. Then relax and get on with the task in hand. It'll be like shelling peas come the New Year.
Stop talking about it with your partner. She'll be tiring of having to reassure you all the time. She wants a man. Not a worryer.
funkyrobot said:
I need a stern talking with myself in the toilets I think.
Au contraire. You need to take yourself out for a nice lunch and congratulate yourself you have done on the job so far and tell yourself to keep up the good work.Talk to yourself as you would wish your boss would talk to you not how you don't want them to.
Work on the basis that they'll tll you if they are unhappy but you won't even register on their radar if they are happy.
Like good technology, good people are only appreciated when they are invisible and still working.
I'm currently sititng here with seven days of employment to go before going on holiday for two weeks and then starting a new role.
OP
Man. The. F*ck. Up.
When I was younger I used to doubt myself a great deal but quickly came to realise that other people were and still are the problem.
You don't yet seem to realise that people treat you poorly because you let them. On the fip side, they usually do this because they envy you.
This my friend is a good thing. They see something in you which they covet and cannot obtain themselves.
This new role was made for you and it is yours to do with what you wish. If you fail, it's because you didn't have the courage to see it through until the end, not because you were inadequate.
Grab that elephant by it's f*cking ears and crack on man.
OP
Man. The. F*ck. Up.
When I was younger I used to doubt myself a great deal but quickly came to realise that other people were and still are the problem.
You don't yet seem to realise that people treat you poorly because you let them. On the fip side, they usually do this because they envy you.
This my friend is a good thing. They see something in you which they covet and cannot obtain themselves.
This new role was made for you and it is yours to do with what you wish. If you fail, it's because you didn't have the courage to see it through until the end, not because you were inadequate.
Grab that elephant by it's f*cking ears and crack on man.
Thanks again all.
I was chatting to one of my new colleagues earlier. She commented on how relaxed and calm I seem to be. I didn't realise people saw me that way.
I am cracking on, don't worry. I have had confidence issues forever and am trying to address them.
I moved office the other day to my permanent position. I've been moved out of a noisy sales office (where I was in a doorway) and into a quiet accounts office at the other end of the building. I've been able to concentrate and haven't had nearly every person stopping by to ask me something just because they have seen me.
I've managed to begin getting to grips with the company's chosen report writing software and have delivered an edited report. My first one here. I guess I'm steadily getting there.
The nerves will always be there when my safety net has gone. It's up to me to manage them and just try to push through the headless chicken syndrome it creates. My fiancee has told me numerous times that I'm a logical, intelligent, but most of all really nice person. I just have the worry issue that is driven by my lack of confidence.
I will try my hardest to get through it, learn more and become better equipped to handle the job.
I am trying, believe me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am not afraid to tell people how I really feel (when appropriate).
Thanks everyone.
I was chatting to one of my new colleagues earlier. She commented on how relaxed and calm I seem to be. I didn't realise people saw me that way.
I am cracking on, don't worry. I have had confidence issues forever and am trying to address them.
I moved office the other day to my permanent position. I've been moved out of a noisy sales office (where I was in a doorway) and into a quiet accounts office at the other end of the building. I've been able to concentrate and haven't had nearly every person stopping by to ask me something just because they have seen me.
I've managed to begin getting to grips with the company's chosen report writing software and have delivered an edited report. My first one here.
I guess I'm steadily getting there.The nerves will always be there when my safety net has gone. It's up to me to manage them and just try to push through the headless chicken syndrome it creates. My fiancee has told me numerous times that I'm a logical, intelligent, but most of all really nice person. I just have the worry issue that is driven by my lack of confidence.
I will try my hardest to get through it, learn more and become better equipped to handle the job.
I am trying, believe me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am not afraid to tell people how I really feel (when appropriate).
Thanks everyone.
Good luck OP. Just posting because I am in a bit of a rut/stale job. Reasonable job but no progression. Easy (now) but boring. When I first came here though nearly 4 years ago I can remember walking to Sainsburys at lunch time and feeling physically sick at how life felt it was going whilst trying to eat a jacket potato! I will have to bite the bullet and go for a change again sooner or later.
Thought I'd bump this thread and add some updates.
Well, I'm still in the new(ish) job. I'm more settled, however still worry about things and get nervous etc. That seems to be my nature.
Had a big worry this last month or so as I attempted to gain some ground on a project that had been languishing here for two years. Managed to make some headway even though the deadline recently passed. I think there is more to be done with it though.
Even though I didn't think I had done anything special with the above, my manager spoke to me the other day about it. He said I had done well. He then went on to say he was taking me off probation early as he was pleased with how I've been doing. Finally, he gave me a pay rise. I wasn't expecting that at all!
So, still here, still cracking on and we'll see how the next five or so months go.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
Well, I'm still in the new(ish) job. I'm more settled, however still worry about things and get nervous etc. That seems to be my nature.
Had a big worry this last month or so as I attempted to gain some ground on a project that had been languishing here for two years. Managed to make some headway even though the deadline recently passed. I think there is more to be done with it though.
Even though I didn't think I had done anything special with the above, my manager spoke to me the other day about it. He said I had done well. He then went on to say he was taking me off probation early as he was pleased with how I've been doing. Finally, he gave me a pay rise. I wasn't expecting that at all!
So, still here, still cracking on and we'll see how the next five or so months go.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
Sounds like you're not only doing well, but they are noticing as well!
I've been doing contracting for since Oct, really enjoying it, although it can get slow at times. So glad to be out of where I was, it's taken so long to forget about everything at my last place, it still crops up in my head, but I happily push it to the back of my mind and smile, knowing I won't have to deal with their ste again.
Onwards and upwards!
I've been doing contracting for since Oct, really enjoying it, although it can get slow at times. So glad to be out of where I was, it's taken so long to forget about everything at my last place, it still crops up in my head, but I happily push it to the back of my mind and smile, knowing I won't have to deal with their s
te again.Onwards and upwards!
illmonkey said:
Sounds like you're not only doing well, but they are noticing as well!
I've been doing contracting for since Oct, really enjoying it, although it can get slow at times. So glad to be out of where I was, it's taken so long to forget about everything at my last place, it still crops up in my head, but I happily push it to the back of my mind and smile, knowing I won't have to deal with their ste again.
Onwards and upwards!
I'm the same (in relation to thinking about the old place). I still keep in touch with two old colleagues. We have the odd chat about how they are getting on and what's changed etc. It makes me smile. I've been doing contracting for since Oct, really enjoying it, although it can get slow at times. So glad to be out of where I was, it's taken so long to forget about everything at my last place, it still crops up in my head, but I happily push it to the back of my mind and smile, knowing I won't have to deal with their s
te again.Onwards and upwards!
Glad I made the move.
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