Requested HR intervention regarding bullying but now...
Discussion
TankRizzo said:
Probably a long-termer's throwaway account which he'll never check again.
Bingo.Loving some of the comments here too.
But as requested - back to post the result.
I have been issued with a written warning.
I feel that the entire process was handled unprofessionally from start to finish (the HR person is wife of the director concerned) also - because of this - an external HR consultant was brought in for the hearing - however she discussed my case with another director *in front* of a colleague, which I regard as grossly unprofessional.
But it is what is.
Hey ho and all that!
/me awaits another 4 pages of telling me how wrong I am etc. blah blah ;-)
Honestly I know this isn't how it should work, but when going to the HR director, who it now transpires is the wife of the director you have a grievance with (small business by any chance?) to report him for bullying you, didn't you at any point along the walk think to yourself "Hold on a moment, this may not be such a great idea?" 
b
hstewie said:
hstewie said: Honestly I know this isn't how it should work, but when going to the HR director, who it now transpires is the wife of the director you have a grievance with (small business by any chance?) to report him for bullying you, didn't you at any point along the walk think to yourself "Hold on a moment, this may not be such a great idea?"
It's a small business.I expected to be treated impartially (a rash assumption maybe but hey...) - following the initial discussion I had no reason to believe otherwise.
But everything changed over the course of the following days.
What else could I have done under the circumstances?
Tensioner said:
It's a small business.
I expected to be treated impartially (a rash assumption maybe but hey...) - following the initial discussion I had no reason to believe otherwise.
But everything changed over the course of the following days.
What else could I have done under the circumstances?
imo.I expected to be treated impartially (a rash assumption maybe but hey...) - following the initial discussion I had no reason to believe otherwise.
But everything changed over the course of the following days.
What else could I have done under the circumstances?
nothing. chalked it up to experience. the way you describe the events it just sounds like a minor disagreement and a director getting annoyed that an employee wouldn't do what he was asked however honorable your intentions.
when director asks, you do. you give alternative and ideas but they decide the course and you take it.
As for hr being married to the director well don't take this the wrong way but i thought you were naive before we found out it was his wife.
you are obviously an intelligent bloke and you don't sound young so i really don't understand how you thought it would go any differently. now you have a warning and a reputation in the firm.
seriously a married couple in position of power will have their own names for you now and they wont be nice ones.
id honestly be looking for another job if i were you. (based on the info provided obviously you know more)
Tensioner said:
It's a small business.
I expected to be treated impartially (a rash assumption maybe but hey...) - following the initial discussion I had no reason to believe otherwise.
But everything changed over the course of the following days.
What else could I have done under the circumstances?
Kept quiet tbh. Husband and wife, jesus.I expected to be treated impartially (a rash assumption maybe but hey...) - following the initial discussion I had no reason to believe otherwise.
But everything changed over the course of the following days.
What else could I have done under the circumstances?
Pesty said:
imo.
nothing. chalked it up to experience. the way you describe the events it just sounds like a minor disagreement and a director getting annoyed that an employee wouldn't do what he was asked however honorable your intentions.
when director asks, you do. you give alternative and ideas but they decide the course and you take it.
As for hr being married to the director well don't take this the wrong way but i thought you were naive before we found out it was his wife.
you are obviously an intelligent bloke and you don't sound young so i really don't understand how you thought it would go any differently. now you have a warning and a reputation in the firm.
seriously a married couple in position of power will have their own names for you now and they wont be nice ones.
id honestly be looking for another job if i were you. (based on the info provided obviously you know more)
Minor disagreement? Yes.nothing. chalked it up to experience. the way you describe the events it just sounds like a minor disagreement and a director getting annoyed that an employee wouldn't do what he was asked however honorable your intentions.
when director asks, you do. you give alternative and ideas but they decide the course and you take it.
As for hr being married to the director well don't take this the wrong way but i thought you were naive before we found out it was his wife.
you are obviously an intelligent bloke and you don't sound young so i really don't understand how you thought it would go any differently. now you have a warning and a reputation in the firm.
seriously a married couple in position of power will have their own names for you now and they wont be nice ones.
id honestly be looking for another job if i were you. (based on the info provided obviously you know more)
Naive? Probably!
Intelligent? I prefer to let others be the judge of that lol.
"don't sound young" - yep, mid 50's.
I've been in the job just over a year, and it's been ok for the most part, but yes, this incident has led to me looking around now.
Good to hear that you are still employed. 
I'm sure you will be aware husband and wife will unfortunately be 'out for you' now fair or not.
As is often said it's far easier to look for a job when you are employed than unemployed, so take the opportunity to do so now and move on.
Very few of us do the odd thing that couldn't be picked up as a another warning by those looking hard for an excuse to find one.
I'm sure you will be aware husband and wife will unfortunately be 'out for you' now fair or not.
As is often said it's far easier to look for a job when you are employed than unemployed, so take the opportunity to do so now and move on.
Very few of us do the odd thing that couldn't be picked up as a another warning by those looking hard for an excuse to find one.
Tensioner said:
Minor disagreement? Yes.
Naive? Probably!
Intelligent? I prefer to let others be the judge of that lol.
"don't sound young" - yep, mid 50's.
I've been in the job just over a year, and it's been ok for the most part, but yes, this incident has led to me looking around now.
Now then..Naive? Probably!
Intelligent? I prefer to let others be the judge of that lol.
"don't sound young" - yep, mid 50's.
I've been in the job just over a year, and it's been ok for the most part, but yes, this incident has led to me looking around now.
..when the interviewer asks 'Why are you looking to leave your current job?'..
..you might need to think your answer through well in advance, so as not to make yourself sound naive, or rash.
In an organisation that's run like this you're on a hiding to nothing expecting to be treated fairly and professionally. Keep your head down, find something else and get out when you can. My OH was in the same position a few years ago. Much bigger company but relentlessly bullied and when she finally stood up to him she found herself on a trumped-up disciplinary. Because the bully was adept at being liked by the 'right people' everyone stood by him, even though she had reams of evidence of his bullying which HR were resolutely unwilling to acknowledge. The HR person dealing with the matter had a business relationship with the bully which created a conflict of interests, while the bully was liked by people high up whom the HR person wouldn't have wanted to upset anyway, so the OH wouldn't have stood a chance of a fair outcome. She's in a far better place now by virtue of moving on and putting it behind her. You can only do the same. If the pool is full of turds, find somewhere else to swim. The turds deserve each other.
Edited by MitchT on Thursday 28th May 12:44
If I told someone that reports into me to JFDI and they refused and reported me to HR I'd be pissed .. Almost everyone in the corporate world reports into someone, and if your boss listens to your advice but then tells you to do it the way he wants anyway you should just get on with it. I've worked in the US and over there you would have probably been fired on the spot.
I've learned over the years, from both sides of the story, when you have a difference of opinion with 'the Boss' voice your opinion in an e-mail.
State clearly why you are suggesting something different to him/her and, where possible, state the possible consequences of your choice-v-their choice.
Do not pursue the matter any further if they don't!
Should there be a problem in the future you have written proof that you had suggested an alternative. The secret is NOT to wave this in your boss' face saying "Na, na, na" but just to keep it handy in case someone tries to blame you!
Never, ever refuse to carry out a direct order from those above you! (As long as they are not forcing you to break the law!)
State clearly why you are suggesting something different to him/her and, where possible, state the possible consequences of your choice-v-their choice.
Do not pursue the matter any further if they don't!
Should there be a problem in the future you have written proof that you had suggested an alternative. The secret is NOT to wave this in your boss' face saying "Na, na, na" but just to keep it handy in case someone tries to blame you!
Never, ever refuse to carry out a direct order from those above you! (As long as they are not forcing you to break the law!)
BGARK said:
Forgive me but I have tried to understanding this thread?
Boss asks you to do something a certain way, you don't do it.
Boss asks you again, you don't do it.
Boss asks you again, probably in a more cheesed off tone of voice.
You cry.
You blame boss for bullying.
That's pretty much it. I really can't see what the op has to complain about.Boss asks you to do something a certain way, you don't do it.
Boss asks you again, you don't do it.
Boss asks you again, probably in a more cheesed off tone of voice.
You cry.
You blame boss for bullying.
Gassing Station | Jobs & Employment Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff