Run my own business. It's a success but I hate it!

Run my own business. It's a success but I hate it!

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ecain63

Original Poster:

10,588 posts

174 months

Tuesday 26th May 2015
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I left the Marines in 2008 after nearly 10 years enjoying a very outdoors and varied lifestyle. The money was crap back then and the lure of civvy street, planned time off and better pay was enough to tempt me away from being a man of war! I started working for my father in law as an apprentice goldsmith and having been quite handy in the art / design department as a youngster i found quite early on that i had an aptitude for the job. Admittedly I did struggle for a couple of years to adjust to being indoors all day and didn't get on with the 0800 to 1700+ lifestyle. I also hate working with the public (especially women with too much time on their hands) and find my stress levels raised when dealing with time wasters and general numpties!

I did try to keep up with time in the gym and set regular personal physical challenges in order to maintain my previous state of mind and body but health issues built up, probably due to stress and frustration. After 4 1/2 years in the workshop the wife and i took the business over. Then a year later I was diagnosed with bowel cancer (October 2013). Obviously i cannot blame my job for the cancer but the way i felt for the first couple of years after leaving the forces caused me some serious mental issues and at one point I had a breakdown that worried my wife and family. This will not have helped me and many have said the stress was a likely trigger. I have been asked about possible PTSD but have never done anything about it. I have a lot on my mind and very few places to unload it unfortunately.

So, cancer beaten and back to work the missus and I are running the business as it was before. Well, it's actually me running it as I have a 12 month old son and the wife is at home 4 days out of 5 during the week. I do have an employee but at 60 he's set in his ways and i shoulder 70% of the work day to day. We have parted relations with the inlaws due to the mother in-laws mental health (long story) and the strain on my wife and i, and the business was fairly heavy from pretty much the week after my surgery last May to the point when we cut ties in January this year. Then, 10 days ago I had my 1 year CT scan and I've been told there is a 9mm soft tissue mass beside the joint in my bowel where the tumor was removed last year. Luckily a second PET scan has shown it's probably not cancer but ive been put on 6 rounds / 12 weeks of chemo followed by surgery to make sure. Winner!

Prior to leaving the Marines i was always 100% fit, never had a worry and never missed a day of work. I loved the lifestyle and my only concerns were how much money i had for the weekend and what chicks were going to be out in Plymouth from one night to the next. Since i left ive had nothing but niggles and my biggest (bar the cancer) has always been the place i spend most of my time..... the workshop. I hate what i do, despite being bloody good at it. The public do my head in and i never get a break...... ever! Being the boss i have to be there from open to close and can't get away for a walk or lunch. I have 17 independent shops to do work for and a high number of public customers to juggle time with between doing the work and having a family. I can't find new staff to train up and share the load as youngsters don't want to spend time learning a dull trade. I've had 2 apprentices who both left after 12 months due to the stress of the constant concentration. I've had 2 older guys who've been in the trade forever and only one has been worth his wages. People look at my job as an art form and something special but really it's a dirty, stressful, boring, solitary job that i fear will eventually kill me. I think the cancer nightmare is trying to tell me something and i'm not sure how much longer i want to be doing the jewellery thing.

My ideal job would be to run a trout fishery or sell specialist cars to interested customers. But how do i go from earning an 80% profit vs turnover wage under st conditions to doing something i'll enjoy whilst keeping my quality of life and standard of living where it is? The business is a very stable income. People always need jewellery repaired or manufactured and despite the problems i've faced I have increased annual turnover by 10% every year since taking it over. It gives me a comfortable living and i have a lovely house, 2 nice cars and my wife and son never want for anything. But as you all know, material things mean nothing if the mind is unwell!

One big downside to this business was that the wife and i had to buy it from the inlaws at full rate (i know!!!!) so most of our money from the past 2 years has been pumped into the parents bank. We have pretty much paid it all now and everything we take from here is ours bar a monthly payment of goodwill (I know!!!) but it annoys me that if i were to shut it down i'd have only stock value and a few months wages to play with. We don't own the property it's in and we have to pay 6 more years rent before being given the option to buy it from the inlaws (i know again!!). Common sense says stick it out a couple of years and pay the mortgage off but i worry i wont make it that far.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions as what to do with my life from here? Should i just jack it in and start a fresh in a more enjoyable field? Should i stick it out and try to find staff to do the bread and butter stuff for me? I'm 33 so i'm not old, but with a 1 year old son and bills to pay i'm not young enough to be baggage free!

Your input will be most welcome,

Eddie

Ukipdefect

109 posts

107 months

Tuesday 26th May 2015
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Amg (remove spoiler) to m4?

0000

13,812 posts

190 months

Tuesday 26th May 2015
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ecain63 said:
My ideal job would be to run a trout fishery or sell specialist cars to interested customers. But how do i go from earning an 80% profit vs turnover wage under st conditions to doing something i'll enjoy whilst keeping my quality of life and standard of living where it is?
Work's a big chunk of your quality of life. It sounds as though you need to figure out what you actually want to do for a living first before you can plan how to transition there. Any scope for hiring someone else to take on some of your hours in the business? I've found taking time out from my own business, spending time out running, cleaning the house and little else, is a good way of figuring out what else to do.

No great insights here, good luck though.

AndStilliRise

2,295 posts

115 months

Tuesday 26th May 2015
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Sounds like your in-laws have ripped you off. It looks like you are working for their retirement and the fact they are enjoying their lives whilst you, your wife and son are miserable. If there is one thing the cancer should have told you is that life is to short.

Get out whilst you can and tell your in-laws to stick it.

davepoth

29,395 posts

198 months

Tuesday 26th May 2015
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It'd be a shame to bin it now it's yours and profitable. I guess with the goodwill thing it will be a tricky proposition to sell anyway.

I'd try and find staff again - it'll be disheartening but if you find the right person you'll be home free.

cheddar

4,637 posts

173 months

Tuesday 26th May 2015
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I've been exactly where you are, from HM forces to my own successful business which I grew to dislike. I sold up and now do what I love for much less money but far greater richness and satisfaction.

Sell it or just walk away from it.

Be bold, visionary, savvy and aware - make a better life for yourself, you won't look back.




jammy_basturd

29,775 posts

211 months

Tuesday 26th May 2015
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Talk to your in-laws, tell them how miserable you are, try to negotiate a new deal.

If they realise you might be able to walk away then they'd be stupid not to enter into a dialogue with you.

Then hire someone part time to give you some work life balance.

16plates

1,796 posts

126 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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Are you profitable enough to hire someone part-time? The way the world is now, i bet there are experienced goldsmiths sitting out of work near you.

Offer them 2 days a week or 16 hours or whatever to start with, if they prove good, then you have the luxury of getting them in more often and taking more time for yourself.

Either way, I agree you'd be mad to sack it off now, when it's making you money!

kev b

2,708 posts

165 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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I found that when hiring staff you will find one good person in every eight, the others will largely be a waste of time.

My advice is to keep on hiring and firing until you find the right ones, don't give in yet, you will feel better when you can take your nose from the grindstone and lessen your own workload.

When did you last have a proper holiday?

slybynight

391 posts

120 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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Hey, many here follow your bench thread with great interest, me included. I am so sorry you are not enjoying what you do. I would love your job, and i think I have the right mindset and skills for it, but tbh the only thing stopping me from retraining into your field is that it would take me years to establish something that made me enough money... and it sounds like you've got that bit sussed! Having said that, I know someone else who does something similar you you and he also appears to hate it for the same reasons as you. So maybe the grass would not be as green so to speak. Which is the advice I would give to you. Trout fishery? go for it. But you might have to risk your house to set it up and hope no greater spanners fall into your life than already have... I'm guessing in the early days you would need to be doing all the work yourself, like now but your risking more if you fail. Car dealer? if you don't like dealing with the great unwashed re jewelry, i bet there are even bigger PITA merchants/customers in the auto trade game.

You have a great skill, and despite the troubles with your outlaws, you do seem to have landed a means to earn a decent living. Very few people love their job, and those that do are often sacrificing material gains.

So here's what I'd do if I were you. firstly find that apprentice. as others have said, you'll probably have to weedle your way through a few timewasters at first but Christ, if I were a younger man with no kids and responsibilities I'd bite your hand off! Maybe try for the type in a similar situation to you when you left the forces?

Second you need to find something to scratch that itch that currently isn't being scratched. But it doesn't have to be a new career. Could be a hobby that earns a bit of pin money. Difficult for me to offer advice here because I was in a similar situation to you but the exact opposite. I needed to scratch a creative/practical itch, so I started building and selling custom Lego models. Hell, I'm never going to make a living out of it but that itch is now thoroughly scratched regularly, and you never know - its a great talking point and shows the world that I have something to offer outside of what I do all day and being a dad the rest of the time. For you? I dunno OU Law course?

I genuinely wish you the best for the future, whatever you choose.



Edited by slybynight on Wednesday 27th May 10:57


Edited by slybynight on Wednesday 27th May 11:00

Grumfutock

5,274 posts

164 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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Let me offer a view from the other side. I retired from the Army in 2008 after 22 years and was going to start my own business as a surveyor. Sadly the arse fell out of the world economy and so I pulled the plug before I had sunk to much of my money into retraining etc. Resettlement didn't even come close to covering it so i was out of pocket by a fair whack but glad I didn't waste more.

Anyway, I ended up getting a job as an Operations Manager which, as an ex SNCO, I can do standing on my head and whilst it isn't for huge money it is good enough. I also went through the mental health bit and thankfully came out the other side, although I still have the odd moment and I hate firework night.

So to the main bit. I work for somebody else. It is easy and the money is ok. But it is so boring. No challenge at all and I find myself on places like this during work time smile.

What I am trying to say mate is that the grass is not always greener. I now live for the family and weekends.

BoRED S2upid

19,641 posts

239 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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Could you find a business partner who buys a stake in the business to give you some money in the bank. Preferably someone who can bring a new dimension into the business. If you currently just do jewlery this new person could be into watches, they would handle front of house allowing you to do the work you enjoy out back also freeing up time to shorten your hours while they build the business and increase turnover with the skills they bring to the business.














BoRED S2upid

19,641 posts

239 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
quotequote all
Could you find a business partner who buys a stake in the business to give you some money in the bank. Preferably someone who can bring a new dimension into the business. If you currently just do jewlery this new person could be into watches, they would handle front of house allowing you to do the work you enjoy out back also freeing up time to shorten your hours while they build the business and increase turnover with the skills they bring to the business.














trickywoo

11,701 posts

229 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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Is there any option for just doing the highest end jobs? i.e. do 40% of the work you are now for 75% of the money.


Grumfutock

5,274 posts

164 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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Your not in Bournemouth are you? I nearly went for a gold based thing there in 2008 and recall chatting to somebody from PH about it and i am sure they were an ex Marine.

Truckosaurus

11,183 posts

283 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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trickywoo said:
Is there any option for just doing the highest end jobs? i.e. do 40% of the work you are now for 75% of the money.
Yes, or just doing the B2B jobs (the other jewellers you said you work for) rather than having to deal directly with the punters. Could you also then downsize the workshop (reducing costs/cutting the goodwill payments).

That would also allow more flexible working hours.

ecain63

Original Poster:

10,588 posts

174 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
quotequote all
0000 said:
ecain63 said:
My ideal job would be to run a trout fishery or sell specialist cars to interested customers. But how do i go from earning an 80% profit vs turnover wage under st conditions to doing something i'll enjoy whilst keeping my quality of life and standard of living where it is?
Work's a big chunk of your quality of life. It sounds as though you need to figure out what you actually want to do for a living first before you can plan how to transition there. Any scope for hiring someone else to take on some of your hours in the business? I've found taking time out from my own business, spending time out running, cleaning the house and little else, is a good way of figuring out what else to do.

No great insights here, good luck though.
Hi, yeah it'd be ideal if i found somebody to carry a share of the load. There are goldsmiths out there but i have a reputation for being the best in the area and can't rely on just any old goldsmith to maintain the standard. I have tried a few over the past few years and nobody can keep up with the required quality. The reason i have so much work is because I am good, I don't want to throw that away. The theory you propose is good though!

ecain63

Original Poster:

10,588 posts

174 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
quotequote all
AndStilliRise said:
Sounds like your in-laws have ripped you off. It looks like you are working for their retirement and the fact they are enjoying their lives whilst you, your wife and son are miserable. If there is one thing the cancer should have told you is that life is to short.

Get out whilst you can and tell your in-laws to stick it.
You are right i feel. I am convinced the father in law has stitched me up financially with the purchase, despite offering me a profitable business that would provide for me and my family for many years. There is no way he could have sold it as a business to anyone else as it would have zero value regarding 'staying' customers. It only had a value when we bought it because customers knew who'd be running it once the old man had gone.

Cancer has shown me that life is short, no doubt about it. Since completing my treatment last year ive done 13 hours of PPL lessons, run the London Marathon and broken a Guinness World Record in the process. I've attended Vmax and run at 168mph in my little A45. These are all things that I live for and are funded by my work, but work is a huge percentage of my life and I'm sure i can be doing all those other things yet be enjoying work a bit more than i am now. Just need to find a way.

ecain63

Original Poster:

10,588 posts

174 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
quotequote all
cheddar said:
I've been exactly where you are, from HM forces to my own successful business which I grew to dislike. I sold up and now do what I love for much less money but far greater richness and satisfaction.

Sell it or just walk away from it.

Be bold, visionary, savvy and aware - make a better life for yourself, you won't look back.
That's the spirit I normally possess. The question is what to do after walking away that needs answering.

Troubleatmill

10,210 posts

158 months

Wednesday 27th May 2015
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To the OP - You are a fecking moaning nancy boy... Man the f*** up!!!
Sodding big girls' blouse. biggrin


I told you what to do 6 months ago.

It still stands.


You have far more options that you think you do.

The problem is - you can't see the woods from the trees.

Happy to chew the fat with you on my observations over a beer - and give you my thoughts.

Oh - And Mrs Troubleatmills' rings need adjusting half a size down... been using ring filler for the last 6 months.