Run my own business. It's a success but I hate it!
Discussion
Eddie
Some good advice on here. Prime thing is your health. Good luck with it mate.
1) What are your current legal obligations to the in-laws? If you don't know, get a lawyer (I can recommend a good one) to have a brief look at your options. The key thing here is to cut yourself free from them. You don't need to put up with this stress to fund their retirement. Unless they were really really sharp, I'd be surprised if you don't an out here.
2) You clearly have a skill and are in demand. No point throwing baby out with bathwater. You need to cut out the bits you don't like (i.e. dealing with the public/fussy tyre kickers) and as said above, increase your prices to weed out the s
t work. You will make the same with 80% of the workload.
3) You mention "no employer will hire someone needing chemo..." - you don't need an employer. That way lies more grief. You have a real skill and customer base. Just exploit it more. If you cannot easily find others to share the making side of the business, find someone to handle the other/business admin stuff that is a drain on your time and energy.
Key message - don't ditch a fundamentally successful (though not perfect) business. Shape it so it works for you and your needs.
Good luck.
Some good advice on here. Prime thing is your health. Good luck with it mate.
1) What are your current legal obligations to the in-laws? If you don't know, get a lawyer (I can recommend a good one) to have a brief look at your options. The key thing here is to cut yourself free from them. You don't need to put up with this stress to fund their retirement. Unless they were really really sharp, I'd be surprised if you don't an out here.
2) You clearly have a skill and are in demand. No point throwing baby out with bathwater. You need to cut out the bits you don't like (i.e. dealing with the public/fussy tyre kickers) and as said above, increase your prices to weed out the s
t work. You will make the same with 80% of the workload.3) You mention "no employer will hire someone needing chemo..." - you don't need an employer. That way lies more grief. You have a real skill and customer base. Just exploit it more. If you cannot easily find others to share the making side of the business, find someone to handle the other/business admin stuff that is a drain on your time and energy.
Key message - don't ditch a fundamentally successful (though not perfect) business. Shape it so it works for you and your needs.
Good luck.
Your OP read to me like a an old has been (no offence oldies) who is almost giving up on life and accepting a sad and unwanted ending.
Clearly you need to change and your posts suggest that the current job is not going to change much going forward for the reasons given.
As you also say, you may have to take a pay cut but as you also say you don't have a happy mind - ultimatley what is more important?
Clearly you need to change and your posts suggest that the current job is not going to change much going forward for the reasons given.
As you also say, you may have to take a pay cut but as you also say you don't have a happy mind - ultimatley what is more important?
Ok! Me and the missus have done some thinking and here is the conclusion of our efforts:
We have put our prices up to the trade by 10% to 15% and the same to the public. The real world difference in cost to the customer is negligible at the trade end so this should not impact badly on our income. In fact, as has been suggested here it should up our annuals by up to 10% whilst losing some of the low end chaff! If we lose some of the crap jobs from the public I don't mind. Good public customers still see that we are cheaper than the other shops as we don't have the huge mark-ups, and many know that we do the work for the other shops anyway!
My wife is now booked in to run the shop front 2 days a week. This will help me over the coming months when I have chemo and be a real help long term when i'm back 5 days a week. Also, we have agreed that when she is in the office I should be able to go out for an hour at lunch to get some daylight.
Hopefully this will be a help to me, we can only give it a go. If not, we'll have to look at getting her back to work with me looking at something new. She was a director at an accountancy firm until 2 years ago so she won't struggle for work.
Eddie
We have put our prices up to the trade by 10% to 15% and the same to the public. The real world difference in cost to the customer is negligible at the trade end so this should not impact badly on our income. In fact, as has been suggested here it should up our annuals by up to 10% whilst losing some of the low end chaff! If we lose some of the crap jobs from the public I don't mind. Good public customers still see that we are cheaper than the other shops as we don't have the huge mark-ups, and many know that we do the work for the other shops anyway!
My wife is now booked in to run the shop front 2 days a week. This will help me over the coming months when I have chemo and be a real help long term when i'm back 5 days a week. Also, we have agreed that when she is in the office I should be able to go out for an hour at lunch to get some daylight.
Hopefully this will be a help to me, we can only give it a go. If not, we'll have to look at getting her back to work with me looking at something new. She was a director at an accountancy firm until 2 years ago so she won't struggle for work.
Eddie
ecain63 said:
Ok! Me and the missus have done some thinking and here is the conclusion of our efforts:
We have put our prices up to the trade by 10% to 15% and the same to the public. The real world difference in cost to the customer is negligible at the trade end so this should not impact badly on our income. In fact, as has been suggested here it should up our annuals by up to 10% whilst losing some of the low end chaff! If we lose some of the crap jobs from the public I don't mind. Good public customers still see that we are cheaper than the other shops as we don't have the huge mark-ups, and many know that we do the work for the other shops anyway!
My wife is now booked in to run the shop front 2 days a week. This will help me over the coming months when I have chemo and be a real help long term when i'm back 5 days a week. Also, we have agreed that when she is in the office I should be able to go out for an hour at lunch to get some daylight.
Hopefully this will be a help to me, we can only give it a go. If not, we'll have to look at getting her back to work with me looking at something new. She was a director at an accountancy firm until 2 years ago so she won't struggle for work.
Eddie
Good idea, as I suggested in my post, that hour might just clear your head, everyone needs a short break, especially from a job where you are concentrating very hard much of the time.We have put our prices up to the trade by 10% to 15% and the same to the public. The real world difference in cost to the customer is negligible at the trade end so this should not impact badly on our income. In fact, as has been suggested here it should up our annuals by up to 10% whilst losing some of the low end chaff! If we lose some of the crap jobs from the public I don't mind. Good public customers still see that we are cheaper than the other shops as we don't have the huge mark-ups, and many know that we do the work for the other shops anyway!
My wife is now booked in to run the shop front 2 days a week. This will help me over the coming months when I have chemo and be a real help long term when i'm back 5 days a week. Also, we have agreed that when she is in the office I should be able to go out for an hour at lunch to get some daylight.
Hopefully this will be a help to me, we can only give it a go. If not, we'll have to look at getting her back to work with me looking at something new. She was a director at an accountancy firm until 2 years ago so she won't struggle for work.
Eddie
Regarding the "train driving job", apparently, from a thread I read on here, there's around 240 applicants for every job, and you have to be top notch, health, eyesight, reactions etc...(Quite rightly when the lives of maybe 500 people depend on you).
Good luck Eddie, and good health.
ecain63 said:
I should be able to go out for an hour at lunch to get some daylight.
Get a dog. Seriously. I imagine in your line of work it could be with you most of not all the time, and at lunchtime it will need a walk and you will HAVE to stop and take it out. I have worked at home for several years and at times tbh it's the dog, and stopping to take it out, that keeps me sane. Plus, when you do take it out, you have a legitimate reason to talk to people (rather than just shuffling up to them as some random and scaring them stless!).CAPP0 said:
ecain63 said:
I should be able to go out for an hour at lunch to get some daylight.
Get a dog. Seriously. I imagine in your line of work it could be with you most of not all the time, and at lunchtime it will need a walk and you will HAVE to stop and take it out. I have worked at home for several years and at times tbh it's the dog, and stopping to take it out, that keeps me sane. Plus, when you do take it out, you have a legitimate reason to talk to people (rather than just shuffling up to them as some random and scaring them stless!).I have since considered getting a less nose / food orientated 'shop' dog such as a Belgian Shepherd or similar. But having 2 dogs already means this is a daft idea!
I like you chain of thought though,
swerni said:
Deal with one thing at a time.
Get the chemo out the way first. Assuming you had chemo last year, you know how it's can make you feel.
Life's too short to do something that doesn't make you happy ( I learnt that through having cancer)
First work out what's causing the real problem, is it the job or the thought that you're trapped in something you hate?
if it's the thought that you're trapped, work on the exit strategy, it's amazing how having a goal and a light at the end of the tunnel can change your perspective.
Can the business fund the new venture until it's set up?
Is it a business that can be built and sold again to fund a new venture?
You've been given another chance, use it on something that makes you happy!!!
As an aside, when you were diagnosed, did you check to see if you had any critical illness policies?
We used to have a critical illness policy. We ran it for a good few years and then when we took the business over we decided that at 32 years old we were too young to be adding it to the company insurance policy. Literally 6 months later i'm in having an emergency blood transfusion and being told i have a 10cm tumor! If that's not sods law then i don't know what is. Get the chemo out the way first. Assuming you had chemo last year, you know how it's can make you feel.
Life's too short to do something that doesn't make you happy ( I learnt that through having cancer)
First work out what's causing the real problem, is it the job or the thought that you're trapped in something you hate?
if it's the thought that you're trapped, work on the exit strategy, it's amazing how having a goal and a light at the end of the tunnel can change your perspective.
Can the business fund the new venture until it's set up?
Is it a business that can be built and sold again to fund a new venture?
You've been given another chance, use it on something that makes you happy!!!
As an aside, when you were diagnosed, did you check to see if you had any critical illness policies?
We did have a holiday to Cancun booked for the following month which we recovered costs on but nothing else.
I agree that having been given a second chance, and having this scare i probably should do something that will make me happier than i am now. In the short term i will stick with the above and keep my options open to future changes.
Got your email too. Peace made
swerni said:
You'll have plenty of time to plan while you're going through chemo ( which as we know, is bloody boring)
Work out some exit strategies and some options anything from the practical to the ridiculous.
You've got 30 odd years of work ahead, you can alway make the jewellery into a hobby for extra cash ( on your terms)
You may love it again when you aren't reliant on it.
Unfortunately i'll be working through chemo other than on the days of my infusions. I'm having a PICC line this time and with 4 drugs to absorb i'll be spending over 6hrs on a pump every other Friday and taking the 4th drug home on a pump which will run for another 48hrs. This will last for 16 to 18 weeks!! So long as i can physically muster the energy i'll have to be back at work on the Monday morning ready to catch up on the lost Friday where possible.Work out some exit strategies and some options anything from the practical to the ridiculous.
You've got 30 odd years of work ahead, you can alway make the jewellery into a hobby for extra cash ( on your terms)
You may love it again when you aren't reliant on it.
I quite like your idea of doing the jewellery as a paid hobby! Maybe i could be taking the better customer work for home and doing an enjoyable 3 or 4 days in a field i enjoy!
Hello mate.
Having read your post I can understand and relate to your situation.
I'm recently outside after 23 years as a Matelot. I was about to be promoted and offered a substantial financial incentive to keep me in but it wasn't enough, I wanted something else, some quality of life. And the simple things like being able to plan a holiday! I could chase a job on the yacht's or oil rigs and earn good money etc blah blah... but now I have cut my cloth accordingly and choose not to go back to work yet and enjoy being the master of my own destiny. It's tremendous.
My point being, something none of us can buy is time. That is some transition, from Bootneck to Goldsmith, to which I doff my cap but if you are flogging yourself in a vocation which you do not enjoy then it is time to move on.
It sounds like you have been really seen off by your in laws and all other things considered surely its time for a change to something that will make you happy. You clearly have the aptitude to run a business so why not take that mindset and do something different. Doing what, I don't know, but your transition from Royal to civvy is the strangest job change I've ever heard of - no offence! but surely that means you can try your hand at anything.
There are plenty of Forces organisations and charities out there who can help and advise, you may even be able to get a grant to assist with starting up your new venture.
Its all about the quality of life mate, no need to tell you time is precious.
Good luck, keep us posted.
Having read your post I can understand and relate to your situation.
I'm recently outside after 23 years as a Matelot. I was about to be promoted and offered a substantial financial incentive to keep me in but it wasn't enough, I wanted something else, some quality of life. And the simple things like being able to plan a holiday! I could chase a job on the yacht's or oil rigs and earn good money etc blah blah... but now I have cut my cloth accordingly and choose not to go back to work yet and enjoy being the master of my own destiny. It's tremendous.
My point being, something none of us can buy is time. That is some transition, from Bootneck to Goldsmith, to which I doff my cap but if you are flogging yourself in a vocation which you do not enjoy then it is time to move on.
It sounds like you have been really seen off by your in laws and all other things considered surely its time for a change to something that will make you happy. You clearly have the aptitude to run a business so why not take that mindset and do something different. Doing what, I don't know, but your transition from Royal to civvy is the strangest job change I've ever heard of - no offence! but surely that means you can try your hand at anything.
There are plenty of Forces organisations and charities out there who can help and advise, you may even be able to get a grant to assist with starting up your new venture.
Its all about the quality of life mate, no need to tell you time is precious.
Good luck, keep us posted.
ecain63 said:
Sure, i hear what you are saying. There is always a risk that i'd throw away a perfectly good business to hunt for a better life and only find myself worse off. My job is dirty, it's bad for my health, it's antisocial and it's stressful. It's all the things I didn't want in my life. I crave the freedom to go for a walk and get some fresh air at lunch time. I hate being Mr Nice-Guy to the public when they are blatantly taking the mick. I hate that my eyes are deteriorating with every hour that i'm staring at an object 6 inches from my face! I hate the lack of exercise! I hate being alone with my thoughts for 9 hours a day. I need access to the world, not just cooped up in a concrete box staring at metal and rocks.
I love the income and the flexibility and confidence it gives to my family. I love the small perks that go with being a jeweller: Access to watches and other things that i can enjoy at the weekend. But, i'd give the material things up right now if it meant i could find something that would pay the bills and have me happy, healthy and content with my lot.
Just a few thoughts to consider...I love the income and the flexibility and confidence it gives to my family. I love the small perks that go with being a jeweller: Access to watches and other things that i can enjoy at the weekend. But, i'd give the material things up right now if it meant i could find something that would pay the bills and have me happy, healthy and content with my lot.
Can you invest some money in extraction and lighting to improve your working conditions? 6500k day light LED fittings will improve your workshop, a proper extraction system or whatever else is relevant to your work will help, it will cost you though, but it sounds like you might not be too short of cash to invest in something that will improve your working conditions.... if you can move/add windows/etc to your workshop then even better.
If you don't like dealing with public etc, is it feasible to employ someone to deal with them, rather than trying to find a goldsmith, can you find someone who can deal with the customers, paperwork etc etc.. takes a load off and gives you back up with customers. It may or may not be feasible, but is worth considering.
I would also explore the starting over as yourself idea, if you can get out of your existing set up with the in laws it may relieve a lot of stress and pressure.
I'm in a similar situation but I don't have cancer so can't imagine how hard it is with that added to it.
An interesting read as in many ways you have things that are the complete opposite from me. I've always liked jewellery and the thought of working in the trade but never tried to do it.
I work in IT and the hours are pretty good and flexible, decent office, a few good perks and some good people I work with. Downsides are the pay is not great, it's not something I really enjoy or ever wanted to do when I was younger and some of the managers are tts.
I sold cars when I was much younger and I can agree working with the retail public can be a real ball-ache. As my old sales manager used to say: "All customers ares until proven otherwise". He wasn't far wrong IME.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do and hope the treatment speeds your recovery. Definitely agree with others that putting up your prices is essential.
I work in IT and the hours are pretty good and flexible, decent office, a few good perks and some good people I work with. Downsides are the pay is not great, it's not something I really enjoy or ever wanted to do when I was younger and some of the managers are t
ts. I sold cars when I was much younger and I can agree working with the retail public can be a real ball-ache. As my old sales manager used to say: "All customers are
s until proven otherwise". He wasn't far wrong IME.Good luck in whatever you choose to do and hope the treatment speeds your recovery. Definitely agree with others that putting up your prices is essential.
Eddie, sorry to hear you're down. Unsurprising that you should have an early mid life with what you've been through.
Some suggestions / observations:
Some suggestions / observations:
- The business makes money. Enough for a comfortable lifestyle. That's great and you'd be daft to walk away from it.
- You're not enjoying the work. Something has to change. Contradicts the first point and I think that's the problem to solve. Life is too short to 9 -> 5 in a job that you hate.
- You need to invest in training others to help out, on and off the bench to give you more freedom. Yes that means you'll invest in staff just to lose them. That's business I'm afraid. It sounds like a lot of what you're describing is pressure, or maybe depression. Take the stress off and do something for the boredom and life will start to look a lot brighter.
- What about going part time? Take one day a week and do something more suited. Yeah, it's going to be low earning in comparison. What about learning and teaching an outdoor sport? Kayaking, paragliding, scuba, windsurfing, sailing? Yes it's public facing, but it might give you back the fitness / outdoor aspect of your job. It's the life / wage balance thing.
- Given your skill set, you could easily morph your business. I know you've had a few PH'ers over to make their own rings. How about running jewellery making classes? Uses your skills, means that you're not on the bench on your own. Could be lucrative if you set up to supply the students with raw materials/tools once they've graduated. Maybe this would be evening classes. Maybe it'd be a week long course.
Good luck with the Chemo.
Lots of good advice here, the thoughts I would echo are;
1. Legally review the arrangement with the partners in law. It sounds like there is no love lost there anymore and the arrangement is a massive contributor to your stress levels.
2. Pleased to hear you have raised prices (and I say that as a customer!), given your expertise I am sure 90% of your Trade and Public customers will be quite relaxed about the increase.
3. Persevere with the recruitment, this is the solution to restoring work life balance and freeing yourself from the shackles of the bench. Finding good people is hard in any business but particularly small highly skilled businesses. Just think if you could find the right person you could potentially only have to work 2-3 days a week, that must be sufficient incentive to keep looking for the right person.
4. Good luck with everything!
Lots of good advice here, the thoughts I would echo are;
1. Legally review the arrangement with the partners in law. It sounds like there is no love lost there anymore and the arrangement is a massive contributor to your stress levels.
2. Pleased to hear you have raised prices (and I say that as a customer!), given your expertise I am sure 90% of your Trade and Public customers will be quite relaxed about the increase.
3. Persevere with the recruitment, this is the solution to restoring work life balance and freeing yourself from the shackles of the bench. Finding good people is hard in any business but particularly small highly skilled businesses. Just think if you could find the right person you could potentially only have to work 2-3 days a week, that must be sufficient incentive to keep looking for the right person.
4. Good luck with everything!
I can only wish you well in what sounds like a poxy situation, then you have your health problems on top, not easy.
Take time out, I realise that it's easier said than done. A half day fishing will make the next few days more tolerable and give you something positive to look forward to each week.
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