soldier on, or wing it?
Discussion
Hi all,
Just after a bit of advice really. I'm essentially doing a pretty complex job with a lot of responsibilities etc. I have moved up the ranks within my current company and have been promised pay reviews and more money, but every time I ask about it I always get the same "there's no money in the pot, but hang on in there". I've grown sick of this and have been looking around for a few months (not too seriously).
Anyway, my fiance has just accepted a new job 4hrs away. I have looked around and there seems to be a lot of suitable vacancies, and applied for them. My question really is do I hang on here, get a second car and rent two places between us and wait until I get a new job, or hand in my notice and move with her, looking for a new job full time.
This means id be local for interviews and very flexible, but eating into savings with no income from me while I'm looking. But if I stay where I am then id have some income, but would need to travel 4hrs for interviews and need to get another car and all expenses that come with it.
Cheers chaps! And ladies...
Just after a bit of advice really. I'm essentially doing a pretty complex job with a lot of responsibilities etc. I have moved up the ranks within my current company and have been promised pay reviews and more money, but every time I ask about it I always get the same "there's no money in the pot, but hang on in there". I've grown sick of this and have been looking around for a few months (not too seriously).
Anyway, my fiance has just accepted a new job 4hrs away. I have looked around and there seems to be a lot of suitable vacancies, and applied for them. My question really is do I hang on here, get a second car and rent two places between us and wait until I get a new job, or hand in my notice and move with her, looking for a new job full time.
This means id be local for interviews and very flexible, but eating into savings with no income from me while I'm looking. But if I stay where I am then id have some income, but would need to travel 4hrs for interviews and need to get another car and all expenses that come with it.
Cheers chaps! And ladies...
slomax said:
Hi all,
Just after a bit of advice really. I'm essentially doing a pretty complex job with a lot of responsibilities etc. I have moved up the ranks within my current company and have been promised pay reviews and more money, but every time I ask about it I always get the same "there's no money in the pot, but hang on in there". I've grown sick of this and have been looking around for a few months (not too seriously).
Anyway, my fiance has just accepted a new job 4hrs away. I have looked around and there seems to be a lot of suitable vacancies, and applied for them. My question really is do I hang on here, get a second car and rent two places between us and wait until I get a new job, or hand in my notice and move with her, looking for a new job full time.
This means id be local for interviews and very flexible, but eating into savings with no income from me while I'm looking. But if I stay where I am then id have some income, but would need to travel 4hrs for interviews and need to get another car and all expenses that come with it.
Cheers chaps! And ladies...
I guess it's down to your appetite towards risk. Being 4 hour way from your fiancée doesn't sounds sustainable long term, so I'd work things out on a 'worst case scenario basis' i.e. if you can't get work can you afford to live on just your fiancée's salary?Just after a bit of advice really. I'm essentially doing a pretty complex job with a lot of responsibilities etc. I have moved up the ranks within my current company and have been promised pay reviews and more money, but every time I ask about it I always get the same "there's no money in the pot, but hang on in there". I've grown sick of this and have been looking around for a few months (not too seriously).
Anyway, my fiance has just accepted a new job 4hrs away. I have looked around and there seems to be a lot of suitable vacancies, and applied for them. My question really is do I hang on here, get a second car and rent two places between us and wait until I get a new job, or hand in my notice and move with her, looking for a new job full time.
This means id be local for interviews and very flexible, but eating into savings with no income from me while I'm looking. But if I stay where I am then id have some income, but would need to travel 4hrs for interviews and need to get another car and all expenses that come with it.
Cheers chaps! And ladies...
I would always rather have another job lined up rather than just quitting and leaving it chance, massively dependent on sector, your skills and qualifications and salary expectations.
4 hours (in the UK) is a sizeable move!
It doesn't help that I live on the Devon/Cornwall border. It seems miles from anywhere. Especially when our families live in Cheshire and Shropshire.
New location will be south east midlands.
Her sole salary wouldn't be enough to live on long term, but might be enough to live on for a little while if we cut back a bit. Plus we have savings that we could eat into if absolutely necessary, but ideally we'd like to save that for a house deposit.
Ive had a bit of feedback from some jobs I've applied to already, so hopefully something will come of it in the coming weeks.
New location will be south east midlands.
Her sole salary wouldn't be enough to live on long term, but might be enough to live on for a little while if we cut back a bit. Plus we have savings that we could eat into if absolutely necessary, but ideally we'd like to save that for a house deposit.
Ive had a bit of feedback from some jobs I've applied to already, so hopefully something will come of it in the coming weeks.
As mentioned above, depends on your attitude towards risk. If it were me I'd probably start looking (seriously) now, and then if interviews do come up in the short term, the odd day off as annual leave will help. Some companies move quickly if they want your services, assuming you have 4 weeks notice minimum and potentially upto 12 weeks in some jobs, it's probably an idea to start looking now. Doesn't sound like even with a payrise in your current job the 4hour gap will make financial (taking into consideration two houses to rent/mortgage) or emotional (4hours is pretty far) sense, imo.
No, I'm definitely not staying where I am, unless they offer me a hilarious pay rise, but that's not going to happen as it would need to be around +70% to make it even financially worthwhile.
Since the OH was offered I have been seriously applying, following up every single one, its pretty intensive, but I'm hopeful something will come in the next 6-8 weeks. My current notice period is 4weeks.
Since the OH was offered I have been seriously applying, following up every single one, its pretty intensive, but I'm hopeful something will come in the next 6-8 weeks. My current notice period is 4weeks.
The next question is, do I let my boss know that I will be leaving. Its a matter of time, not a question IF I'm leaving, more WHEN. We get on really well and I really don't want to shaft him or the team I'm in. The extra warning/time I give him will allow at least for an interim member of the team to get up to speed and follow on seamlessly.
I'm the only one that does my job and there are a lot of long term projects I'm working on. As well as managing several development accounts with suppliers. Even with 4wks notice period I couldn't hand over half of my projects.
I'm the only one that does my job and there are a lot of long term projects I'm working on. As well as managing several development accounts with suppliers. Even with 4wks notice period I couldn't hand over half of my projects.
slomax said:
The next question is, do I let my boss know that I will be leaving. Its a matter of time, not a question IF I'm leaving, more WHEN. We get on really well and I really don't want to shaft him or the team I'm in. The extra warning/time I give him will allow at least for an interim member of the team to get up to speed and follow on seamlessly.
I'm the only one that does my job and there are a lot of long term projects I'm working on. As well as managing several development accounts with suppliers. Even with 4wks notice period I couldn't hand over half of my projects.
No no no no no no no.I'm the only one that does my job and there are a lot of long term projects I'm working on. As well as managing several development accounts with suppliers. Even with 4wks notice period I couldn't hand over half of my projects.
Your boss is not your friend. Their obligations are to the business. It might not even be up to him, if you have an HR dept. If you tell him / her you're leaving, you're only putting yourself at risk - see that other thread when a bloke tried to be nice and said "I'm leaving in 8 weeks, should give you loads of time to make it seemless" and the company said "your notice period is 2 weeks, that is your leaving date.
Thanks for your input guys! I think i'll keep shtum for now.
anothernameitist said:
You might get on well with your boss, but he has already shafted you by not giving a pay rise.
As above don't let onto him what you are doing.
I have has this discussion with him. He would love to pay me more and has battled with his boss to release some money into our team (trust me I've been in the meetings), but he is not in direct control of how much I get paid. He has even tried getting someone to be my assistant/helper to bolster what I'm doing, but again, no joy....As above don't let onto him what you are doing.
Did you have an honest, 2 way conversation with your O/H while she was applying for these jobs 4 hours away?
I know deep down that I couldnt have taken a job that far away from my O/H because it's not a commute you can do a) daily and b) for very long, so there must have been something that she thought 'f
k this, I'm going there'
The question is whether you're along for the ride. If mine said she couldnt get a job here and that was important to her, I'd move with her wherever she/we wanted to go.
Your job comes over that it's just a job, you're there for the end of month pay run however you might like to dress it up as complex and this, that, the other, you still sound like it's not really for you and it's a means to an end. Money is like weight, sometimes it goes up, sometimes down. You can still be happy with either end.
I think I'd be looking more closely at your home life than your work life tbh, then figuring out who's committed to what and where. How did she think this might play out for you and her?
I know deep down that I couldnt have taken a job that far away from my O/H because it's not a commute you can do a) daily and b) for very long, so there must have been something that she thought 'f
k this, I'm going there' The question is whether you're along for the ride. If mine said she couldnt get a job here and that was important to her, I'd move with her wherever she/we wanted to go.
Your job comes over that it's just a job, you're there for the end of month pay run however you might like to dress it up as complex and this, that, the other, you still sound like it's not really for you and it's a means to an end. Money is like weight, sometimes it goes up, sometimes down. You can still be happy with either end.
I think I'd be looking more closely at your home life than your work life tbh, then figuring out who's committed to what and where. How did she think this might play out for you and her?
Edited by andy-xr on Tuesday 20th October 11:41
andy-xr said:
Did you have an honest, 2 way conversation with your O/H while she was applying for these jobs 4 hours away?
I know deep down that I couldnt have taken a job that far away from my O/H because it's not a commute you can do a) daily and b) for very long, so there must have been something that she thought 'fk this, I'm going there'
Must admit that was my thoughts too.I know deep down that I couldnt have taken a job that far away from my O/H because it's not a commute you can do a) daily and b) for very long, so there must have been something that she thought 'f
k this, I'm going there' I also thought this.
If you’d have said girlfriend rather than fiancée is a bit different, but if you’re planning on marrying things like this should be a joint decision. If she can’t afford to support you if you’re out of work how will she support herself? Assume as it stands she’ll need a place to live, so rent and bills etc or are you subsidising until you can get another job closer to her?
I’m going through a slightly different thought process at the moment as I’m considering voluntary redundancy terms. My wife is well paid and we could afford to live off her salary long term if needs be by adjusting the term of the mortgage or take a payment holiday as we’ve been over paying etc. I’m a big fan of ‘having to cut your cloth accordingly’.
If you’d have said girlfriend rather than fiancée is a bit different, but if you’re planning on marrying things like this should be a joint decision. If she can’t afford to support you if you’re out of work how will she support herself? Assume as it stands she’ll need a place to live, so rent and bills etc or are you subsidising until you can get another job closer to her?
I’m going through a slightly different thought process at the moment as I’m considering voluntary redundancy terms. My wife is well paid and we could afford to live off her salary long term if needs be by adjusting the term of the mortgage or take a payment holiday as we’ve been over paying etc. I’m a big fan of ‘having to cut your cloth accordingly’.
I'd think about waiting until the other half has been in the new job/location for a couple of months. She might immediately hate the job or location and want to quit/move elsewhere. There is also the risk that the other half's employer doesn't feel they fit in, and gives them notice. Once you establish if their job is a keeper you can plan what to do.
well I've only gone and been offered a bloody job.... on the same industrial estate as my good lady's new employer! (talk about handy)
Things are looking up. Its contracting, but the wage equivalent is substantially more than I'm currently earning, in the industry I want to be in, working for a pretty prestigious company.
very happy.
Things are looking up. Its contracting, but the wage equivalent is substantially more than I'm currently earning, in the industry I want to be in, working for a pretty prestigious company.
very happy.
slomax said:
It doesn't help that I live on the Devon/Cornwall border. It seems miles from anywhere. Especially when our families live in Cheshire and Shropshire.
New location will be south east midlands.
Her sole salary wouldn't be enough to live on long term, but might be enough to live on for a little while if we cut back a bit. Plus we have savings that we could eat into if absolutely necessary, but ideally we'd like to save that for a house deposit.
Ive had a bit of feedback from some jobs I've applied to already, so hopefully something will come of it in the coming weeks.
Move, there is nothing where you are (i grew up in Cornwall and went to school in Somerset). If your company can't afford to pay to keep you and it has no money in the pot, then i'd be more worried about its viability in the long term. Find a new job and if this fits with a move then crack on.New location will be south east midlands.
Her sole salary wouldn't be enough to live on long term, but might be enough to live on for a little while if we cut back a bit. Plus we have savings that we could eat into if absolutely necessary, but ideally we'd like to save that for a house deposit.
Ive had a bit of feedback from some jobs I've applied to already, so hopefully something will come of it in the coming weeks.
having a long distance relationship is possible but bloody uncomnfortable and sounds entirely needless.
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