Quitting work. Stuggling to cope. Problems?

[Morningside]

Small background. I looked after my wife for 20 years who sadly died in February and therefore I needed to find a job to sustain myself.
I was kindly took on by a company but it has become very clear that technology has moved on and I have not.

I have only been working for them for 5 weeks and it has been an impossible struggle and not getting any easier as I have found that I am finding modern computer systems well beyond what I can do. I have had some training and they have been very good being left out the wild I struggle like hell.

With them being a small company it is always 'all hands on pump' and I just feel like the old man.

I have been given a 6 month probation period but it is very clear in my mind that I will not make it to that point and rather than waste more of their time on me and it seems a good point to leave now. Written in my contract is a clause for both sides to give a weeks notice.

Just to make it clear I am not normally a quitter but it really does seem like a vertical struggle.

What happens with the job centre? Will I not be able to claim? Will I be sanctioned? Or is it best for them to sack me?

[xjay1337]

It's irrelevant whether you are sacked or quit.

Rather than quit why not sit down with your line manager and explain how you feel.
It's a lot easier to find work while you are in a job... so remember that.

[Morningside]

Oh, I thought it was different in the eyes of the job centre if you are sacked.

I am going to speak with him this afternoon. But I will be struggling for weeks and not that I have screwed anything but I don't think that will put the company in a good light.

Turning up at a customer and just going ummmmm does not help.

[randlemarcus]

If you are actively unhappy, then have a coffee with them, and break it off. There are other jobs out there. If its just being daunted by the pace of technology, then shout out, there are a lot of nice folks on here who may be able to help. What specifically is the issue? (we might be able to help on some bits, but not a CAD driven laser jig, for example)

[227bhp]

Morningside said:

Oh, I thought it was different in the eyes of the job centre if you are sacked.

I was too, maybe someone else can confirm? Although 'laid off' being better so ultimately it may be good to encourage them to do that.

Talking with your boss is the place to start so the best of luck this afternoon, they may be able to find a way around the predicament and keep you on, maybe some retraining or another role?
You have to make the decision as to whether you want to sit at home on your arse or go and do some work...

[zarjaz1991]

You must speak to them. They may be more than happy with you in all other areas and yur perceived lack of IT skills can be tweaked and learned. It depends on the job, and you WILL pick it up, no mstter how daunting it seems. That stuff about "you can't teach an old dog new trick".....is utter rubbish.

Do not just quit, you have got to talk to them.

I'm 23 and I'm an IT support manager. I've trained a fair few people up who felt they were too old / too out of the loop / too behind. Feel free to message me if you want any help, or even just a bit of moral support.

[xjay1337]

randlemarcus said:

If you are actively unhappy, then have a coffee with them, and break it off. There are other jobs out there. If its just being daunted by the pace of technology, then shout out, there are a lot of nice folks on here who may be able to help. What specifically is the issue? (we might be able to help on some bits, but not a CAD driven laser jig, for example)

True

What aspectss are you suffering with?
If it's basic IT then you will need to sort that out because so many jobs require the use of Outlook / Word / Excel etc and other programs / systems.

[Morningside]

Don't worry I won't be sitting on my arse twiddling my thumbs. It is just that from leaving school 30+ years ago computers and always within the computer industry were the only thing I knew...or so I thought. But after a 20 year break even keeping up online etc. it really does not prepare you for the real world.
I was self employed about 5-6 years back but had to give up due to my wifes illness.

It is mainly server stuff as in Server 2012. I have zero knowledge of this or how they are built up or implemented. I roughly understand how it all screws together but that is a far as it goes. Way too daunting and on a live system it is a massive no no to 'dabble'. It is something that requires years of knowledge and I just don't have it. Repairing of laptops/PCs and hardware is no problem.

I could learn over a period of time but that would not help them as that is not what they need.

[xjay1337]

It's ok, I hate Server 2012 too.

[zarjaz1991]

Servers can be daunting yes but if you always understood the underlying basic principles, they haven't really changed that much.

If you are able, it's always worth setting up your own biox as a server and playing around with it. Then if you break stuff it doesn't matter.

[anonymous-user]

There are 4 stages to any job

Conscious Incompetence

You don't really know what you are doing and you are very aware, normally 1-3 months in

Unconscious Incompetence

You THINK you have it dialled in but are in fact still quite ropey, normally 3-9 months in, some people stay here for years

Conscious Competence

You have it dialled in and are doing good work, its still hard and you have to think about it. Say 9-12/18 months


Unconscious Competence

You can do the job hungover, pissed or off your tits on LSD. Normally at the 18-24 months period, people then get bored and move on

You are in stage 1. Don't panic, have a chat as others have said, you may be surprised at their feelings about it. I'd always rather one of my team struggles and asks for help than blindly fumbles on.

[n3il123]

If it is that level(servers rather than I.E), then you should be able to pick it up again!

Can you afford to get an HP microserver and create a test environment at home to practice on without fking up a live environment?

Perhaps that and a Dummies style book would be enough to give you a bit of confidence?

[randlemarcus]

As said, rig up a practice box, as it's probably really simple stuff that the customers need/want. Try the Microsoft Virtual Academy, see if there any self-paced courses/videos etc to help you get the mojo back

[Piersman2]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

^This. As a contractor of 25+ years experience, the first few months on any new contract or a fecking nightmare as you try to get your feet under the desk.

Relax and talk to your boss. The mere fact that you are concerned about not performing indicates to me that you'll be a good resource once you're settled in.

I'd much rather have someone keen to learn than someone who can't be arsed.

[StevieBee]

OP: From your post, it appears that you have been pretty much a full-time carer for your late wife for an awfully long time.

I wonder whether the awkwardness you are experiencing at work is not so much IT based but more a case that you have been out of a 'normal' working environment for so long. Joining a new company is challenging for anyone as it takes time to become an 'accepted member of the gang' during which, it's natural to feel a bit of an outsider.

A good friend of mine sold his business almost eight years ago and was fortunate, at 44, to be in a position not to have to worry too much about working ever again but a series of unwise and unfortunate investments has pushed him back into the workplace. He is finding it a massive struggle. He'd forgotten how to interact with colleagues, how the banter works and so on.

IT can be learned (my 82 year old Mum has only just got broadband for the very first time and sinking herself into all things tech with great aplomb!) but it's often those intangibles that are more tricky and really only overcome with time.

Either way, good luck!

[Morningside]

Thanks. I think you maybe right. 20 ish years out of the workforce has been hard although I was self-employed for a short while. The people I work with are great and they have accepted me 100% and been very, very helpful but it's the work itself I struggle with. I do have some old PCs here and could setup a small network to experiment with but sometimes these things takes years and years of learned skills.

The hardware side I have no problem with.

[zarjaz1991]

Have confidence in your skills.

It's your skills and experience they wanted when they took you on. Those skills and experiences will enable you to quickly adapt to newer technologies - even though you think you won't be abe to. That's why they wanted you there and not some young kid.

[bitchstewie]

Morningside said:

Thanks. I think you maybe right. 20 ish years out of the workforce has been hard although I was self-employed for a short while. The people I work with are great and they have accepted me 100% and been very, very helpful but it's the work itself I struggle with. I do have some old PCs here and could setup a small network to experiment with but sometimes these things takes years and years of learned skills.

The hardware side I have no problem with.

I think having access to some capability to lab up a test environment is invaluable.

What kind of age is the spare kit you have available?

[fido]

Morningside said:

I do have some old PCs here and could setup a small network to experiment with but sometimes these things takes years and years of learned skills.

The web guy at my last place was knocking on 70. He was an absolute wizard - hired through a recommendation - but what was more surprising was that he only got into IT at around 50! Just saying don't give up yet .. it'll probably all make sense if you stick at it long enough.

[Speed 3]

It's not surprising after 20 years out of full time employment that you feel overwhelmed, in any industry that woul be the case but IT is particularly fast paced in changes. Remember that if you had the skillset to be good back then, you still do now, its just the knowledge is out of date. I suspect in a semi-rural area like yours you're not inundated with choice on your doorstep, but sounds like your current employer are being pretty supportive. I wouldn't let yourself get in a spiral of doubt, stick this one out for a while and have a decent chat with them even if you are to part company in due course. I haven't needed Job Centre support but I suspect its a case of trying to fit you in anywhere remotely relevant and they won't really have a clue about what an employer needs and what you can offer, its just stats for them. If my maths is right, you're in your late 40's which is no age to be writing yourself off. It will take time to rebuild specific skills on top of your natural ones and the team interaction bit is always hard when you've been through what you have.

I quit a well paid job 6 months ago following a health scare and realisation that there was more to life than money. I've enjoyed my time off but I'm not ready to retire at 48, nor can I really afford to (3 cars, 2 kids and a wife to support !) I'm likely to do own business stuff rather than be employed in the future and my biggest challenge is the working from home / alone bit, I really enjoyed team interaction and achievement but its more important for me now to put family & health first. It's scary and I will have self doubts but I have faith in the future and don't believe in regrets as you can't change the past, only the future.