Feeling Stuck & Needing Help
Discussion
Opened a new account in order to post more details which I wasn't comfortable doing under my regular account.
My current situation at work has me felling stuck & completely drained of energy and enthusiasm & at 25 this isn't very good.
Graduated in 2012 & moved away from home in the north to work on a manufacturing grad scheme. Stayed there for about 2 and half years before the company started to go down the pan which resulted in me leaving the midlands to an american company in essex. Spent about a year there but family things going on I felt myself feeling very tired driving up every other weekend. The role itself was okay but in such a large company it was only a tiny cog in the machine & I felt it was too slow & I wasn't getting much manufacturing exposure but I was exposed to a lot of the car side/development, which I really enjoyed & would possibly like to pursue.
Anyway trying to balance about to get married as well as home/family caused me to accept a role back up north. Still within automotive but now first tier. In the long run I know it is best for my family & mrs & eventually kids (childcare etc) for me to be up in the north but I feel I have made a mistake picking this role.
The company itself are doing okay but it has grown very quickly so the systems are not very mature. The team I work with themselves are still a relatively new team, think the oldest person has been there for 2 years. When I started I started to make suggestions on how to improve/use systems since I felt that I could be productive whilst I was still not very heavily loaded. This didn't go down well & I think the people thought I was trying to be the manager when I was just trying to keep busy & improve things. I sit on the very edge of the pod & not really included in many things.
During the interview all the right things were said & I even met the team & it seemed to be an okay role to go into however I think I was more up for it because of the location back home rather than the role.
I have only been here a month & I don't feel like I fit in with the people at all. One to one I get on well with a few of them but the culture doesn't fit me at all. I like being back in first tier automotive as I enjoy being busy & problem solving a lot as well as getting involved in a lot of things that would've taken me 10 years to do down south. I am trying to give it more time but gut feeling tells me this place isn't for me but then I start over thinking and wonder if it just a time thing.
I don't feel like I have many options up north & struggling to be motivated in this role is just a killer. I have always had enthusiasm and a love of all things manufacturing/automotive but in this role that has all but gone.
I would like to remain in automotive & pursue something more technical. Moving out of the area isn't possible at the moment as I have a place & the Mrs is only in a new role too but. I have thought about consultantcy but being newly married that wouldn't do the marriage any good being away for 5 out of the 7 days.
Just need some guidance & advice on what is would be a good move as I really don't want to keep moving & want to settle but somewhere but not just for the sake of it.
My current situation at work has me felling stuck & completely drained of energy and enthusiasm & at 25 this isn't very good.
Graduated in 2012 & moved away from home in the north to work on a manufacturing grad scheme. Stayed there for about 2 and half years before the company started to go down the pan which resulted in me leaving the midlands to an american company in essex. Spent about a year there but family things going on I felt myself feeling very tired driving up every other weekend. The role itself was okay but in such a large company it was only a tiny cog in the machine & I felt it was too slow & I wasn't getting much manufacturing exposure but I was exposed to a lot of the car side/development, which I really enjoyed & would possibly like to pursue.
Anyway trying to balance about to get married as well as home/family caused me to accept a role back up north. Still within automotive but now first tier. In the long run I know it is best for my family & mrs & eventually kids (childcare etc) for me to be up in the north but I feel I have made a mistake picking this role.
The company itself are doing okay but it has grown very quickly so the systems are not very mature. The team I work with themselves are still a relatively new team, think the oldest person has been there for 2 years. When I started I started to make suggestions on how to improve/use systems since I felt that I could be productive whilst I was still not very heavily loaded. This didn't go down well & I think the people thought I was trying to be the manager when I was just trying to keep busy & improve things. I sit on the very edge of the pod & not really included in many things.
During the interview all the right things were said & I even met the team & it seemed to be an okay role to go into however I think I was more up for it because of the location back home rather than the role.
I have only been here a month & I don't feel like I fit in with the people at all. One to one I get on well with a few of them but the culture doesn't fit me at all. I like being back in first tier automotive as I enjoy being busy & problem solving a lot as well as getting involved in a lot of things that would've taken me 10 years to do down south. I am trying to give it more time but gut feeling tells me this place isn't for me but then I start over thinking and wonder if it just a time thing.
I don't feel like I have many options up north & struggling to be motivated in this role is just a killer. I have always had enthusiasm and a love of all things manufacturing/automotive but in this role that has all but gone.
I would like to remain in automotive & pursue something more technical. Moving out of the area isn't possible at the moment as I have a place & the Mrs is only in a new role too but. I have thought about consultantcy but being newly married that wouldn't do the marriage any good being away for 5 out of the 7 days.
Just need some guidance & advice on what is would be a good move as I really don't want to keep moving & want to settle but somewhere but not just for the sake of it.
I spent all my 20's and some of my 30's moving around the country and different parts of the world chasing jobs, because I thought that's what you're supposed to do. Work harder, be more successful, have a dream life.
The reality was I moved to a new area, didnt make many friends, the ones I did were mostly through proximity, and I didnt get any deep friendships because I knew I'd probably move on after a couple of years anyway. Then I started working internationally. Old friends stopped inviting me to anything because I was on a different timezone and in another country.
I jacked it in, mostly because I felt I missed out on a home life, friendships and family ties. Now I work from home. Slightly different market, different things to learn, but using my experience and some of my skills. Never been happier - got married a couple of years ago, and first child on the way.
Short version - prioritise what's actually important to you. For me I told myself my job defined my success and happiness, and it didnt, I'd bulls
tted myself
The reality was I moved to a new area, didnt make many friends, the ones I did were mostly through proximity, and I didnt get any deep friendships because I knew I'd probably move on after a couple of years anyway. Then I started working internationally. Old friends stopped inviting me to anything because I was on a different timezone and in another country.
I jacked it in, mostly because I felt I missed out on a home life, friendships and family ties. Now I work from home. Slightly different market, different things to learn, but using my experience and some of my skills. Never been happier - got married a couple of years ago, and first child on the way.
Short version - prioritise what's actually important to you. For me I told myself my job defined my success and happiness, and it didnt, I'd bulls
tted myself andy-xr said:
I spent all my 20's and some of my 30's moving around the country and different parts of the world chasing jobs, because I thought that's what you're supposed to do. Work harder, be more successful, have a dream life.
The reality was I moved to a new area, didnt make many friends, the ones I did were mostly through proximity, and I didnt get any deep friendships because I knew I'd probably move on after a couple of years anyway. Then I started working internationally. Old friends stopped inviting me to anything because I was on a different timezone and in another country.
I jacked it in, mostly because I felt I missed out on a home life, friendships and family ties. Now I work from home. Slightly different market, different things to learn, but using my experience and some of my skills. Never been happier - got married a couple of years ago, and first child on the way.
Short version - prioritise what's actually important to you. For me I told myself my job defined my success and happiness, and it didnt, I'd bullstted myself
Well I have kind of done the same thing by being away from home. Home and family are definitely most important however I still would like a job which I enjoy, don't need a million dollar salary as I want to do my own thing too & work is just a way to fund it. But given how much time I spend at work I would like something I can enjoy, which is why I am considering looking elsewhere but still within the area but I'm not sure if this is a rash move.The reality was I moved to a new area, didnt make many friends, the ones I did were mostly through proximity, and I didnt get any deep friendships because I knew I'd probably move on after a couple of years anyway. Then I started working internationally. Old friends stopped inviting me to anything because I was on a different timezone and in another country.
I jacked it in, mostly because I felt I missed out on a home life, friendships and family ties. Now I work from home. Slightly different market, different things to learn, but using my experience and some of my skills. Never been happier - got married a couple of years ago, and first child on the way.
Short version - prioritise what's actually important to you. For me I told myself my job defined my success and happiness, and it didnt, I'd bulls
tted myself I feel like I'm looking for something, I know this isn't it but I'm not sure how to articulate what it is
As above, spend some time working out what matters to you and ignore the pressure of what you think you should aspire to. 'Success' is a bullst concept and the only thing that matters is happiness which comes from within. If you know you don't like something, for example being away from your family, use it as a filter so you can rule out new roles that will take you miles away from them.
Large companies should present more opportunity to climb the ranks but you'll be more constrained in your role. Small companies tend to have a flatter structure but you'll get more opportunity to try different things. I decided years ago to stop measuring myself against other people's achievements, it will make you unhappy. It's your life so do your own thing and don't be afraid to try new things. But use the filters I mention above.
Also, it's natural for our primeval side not to like or embrace change. Give your new role at least 6 months and do what you can to make the best of it. Friendly people have friends so do your bit and other people will learn to accept you as the new boy.
t concept and the only thing that matters is happiness which comes from within. If you know you don't like something, for example being away from your family, use it as a filter so you can rule out new roles that will take you miles away from them.Large companies should present more opportunity to climb the ranks but you'll be more constrained in your role. Small companies tend to have a flatter structure but you'll get more opportunity to try different things. I decided years ago to stop measuring myself against other people's achievements, it will make you unhappy. It's your life so do your own thing and don't be afraid to try new things. But use the filters I mention above.
Also, it's natural for our primeval side not to like or embrace change. Give your new role at least 6 months and do what you can to make the best of it. Friendly people have friends so do your bit and other people will learn to accept you as the new boy.
Edited by anonymous-user on Monday 16th May 19:00
andy-xr said:
Sometimes getting 'this is what I dont want' sorted gives you a bit of clarity when you're trying to find out what you do want
Issue I have here currently I feel this isnt for me but I'm not sure if I'm over thinking it & need to give it more time. & the things which I do like, I am not sure what opportunities exist in the north hence the feeling stuck. Also now being married I can't keep changing locations since it is unfair on the Mrs & her career.wormus said:
As above, spend some time working out what matters to you and ignore the pressure of what you think you should aspire to. 'Success' is a bullst concept and the only thing that matters is happiness which comes from within. If you know you don't like something, for example being away from your family, use it as a filter so you can rule out new roles that will take you miles away from them.
Large companies should present more opportunity to climb the ranks but you'll be more constrained in your role. Small companies tend to have a flatter structure but you'll get more opportunity to try different things. I decided years ago to stop measuring myself against other people's achievements, it will make you unhappy. It's your life so do your own thing and don't be afraid to try new things. But use the filters I mention above.
Also, it's natural for our primeval side not to like or embrace change. Give your new role at least 6 months and do what you can to make the best of it. Friendly people have friends so do your bit and other people will learn to accept you as the new boy.
I don't really have an issue over the whole success stuff, like yourself I realised that some time ago. My main goal/aim is to be comfortable (no mortgage & some investments) & work for myself at some point ideally restoring classic cars.t concept and the only thing that matters is happiness which comes from within. If you know you don't like something, for example being away from your family, use it as a filter so you can rule out new roles that will take you miles away from them.Large companies should present more opportunity to climb the ranks but you'll be more constrained in your role. Small companies tend to have a flatter structure but you'll get more opportunity to try different things. I decided years ago to stop measuring myself against other people's achievements, it will make you unhappy. It's your life so do your own thing and don't be afraid to try new things. But use the filters I mention above.
Also, it's natural for our primeval side not to like or embrace change. Give your new role at least 6 months and do what you can to make the best of it. Friendly people have friends so do your bit and other people will learn to accept you as the new boy.
My issue is I'm not sure that this role is quite right for me. The smaller company is good as I do get to deal in a lot more & get to know things in more detail which will benefit me in the future. However I feel that if this doesn't work out I don't fell like I have many places to go to get that development in say technical work on cars, suspensions, exhausts etc
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