PH cooking competition #23 attempt 3 - PH Burger Off
Discussion
Bugger. I haven’t got round to this yet (had other plans for last weekend’s culinary adventures) and now have my parents coming to stay all weekend. They’ll want to go out for every meal, so unless I can convince them to stay in and eat megaburgers one night, I’m out of competition. Which is a shame, I have a nice mix of half pork, half beef mince ready to go …
Also, please don’t let a parental visit mean that I miss the live coverage of Silverstone …
Also, please don’t let a parental visit mean that I miss the live coverage of Silverstone …
Right, here comes some utilitarian burger creating.
First, take some ingredients (plate of cheese later ignored):
snigger to yourself as you read "giant baps" on the Waitrose packet.
To the mince add chopped jalapenos, pepper, cumin, garlic granules, oregano, parsley, salt and pepper. Mix by hand, then split in half and run through the burger press to create:
Meanwhile stick a big mushroom in the oven, and a piece of bacon and a slice of tomato on the griddle. Simultaneously toast a big white bun (at this point neck some Cidre for good measure).
Once bun is toasted, cover lower section with sour cream and chive dip. Upper section to be the bearer of the tomato slice.
Add cheese to one patty on the griddle and cover with a bowl. Neck more Cidre.
Look at cooker. Add a dash of Cidre to your cakehole.
Remove plate from drawer. Reward yourself with Cidre.
Place toasted bun with dip and tomato on plate. See above for Cidre instruction.
Start layering ingredients - cheese covered patty on the bottom, plain patty on top. Drape the rasher of bacon over the top (by now you'll be sweating - cool yourself with Cidre) and then position the mushroom on top of the bacon. Extra points awarded for a jaunty angle.
Step back, and over a mouthful of Cidre wonder how the f
k you're going to get your mouth around this beefy colossus. Lubricate mind with Cidre, carry plate to nearest seating position and forcably ram as much of the burger as possible into your gaping chasm.
Polish off whole burger, wish you'd made more, and console yourself by cracking open another crate of Cidre.
Job well-and-truly jobbed.
First, take some ingredients (plate of cheese later ignored):
snigger to yourself as you read "giant baps" on the Waitrose packet.
To the mince add chopped jalapenos, pepper, cumin, garlic granules, oregano, parsley, salt and pepper. Mix by hand, then split in half and run through the burger press to create:
Meanwhile stick a big mushroom in the oven, and a piece of bacon and a slice of tomato on the griddle. Simultaneously toast a big white bun (at this point neck some Cidre for good measure).
Once bun is toasted, cover lower section with sour cream and chive dip. Upper section to be the bearer of the tomato slice.
Add cheese to one patty on the griddle and cover with a bowl. Neck more Cidre.
Look at cooker. Add a dash of Cidre to your cakehole.
Remove plate from drawer. Reward yourself with Cidre.
Place toasted bun with dip and tomato on plate. See above for Cidre instruction.
Start layering ingredients - cheese covered patty on the bottom, plain patty on top. Drape the rasher of bacon over the top (by now you'll be sweating - cool yourself with Cidre) and then position the mushroom on top of the bacon. Extra points awarded for a jaunty angle.
Step back, and over a mouthful of Cidre wonder how the f
k you're going to get your mouth around this beefy colossus. Lubricate mind with Cidre, carry plate to nearest seating position and forcably ram as much of the burger as possible into your gaping chasm.Polish off whole burger, wish you'd made more, and console yourself by cracking open another crate of Cidre.
Job well-and-truly jobbed.
Output Flange said:
"giant baps"...split in half...a big white bun...cakehole... bottom...on top.... Drape....sweating...mouthful ... fk you're going to get your mouth around this beefy colossus... Lubricate ....position and forcably ram ... into your gaping chasm.
Job well-and-truly jobbed.
Edited for obvious subtext. 50 shades of grey? Pah!k you're going to get your mouth around this beefy colossus... Lubricate ....position and forcably ram ... into your gaping chasm.Job well-and-truly jobbed.
Genelec said:
Edited for obvious subtext. 50 shades of grey? Pah!
Got to love Captain Subtext 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxVHealguGs
Finally an afternoon of clement weather. 
Here is my take on a Le Mans inspired Steak Hache with carrot and celeriac coleslaw
Burgers were made with onion, garlic and a bit of the mince bended together. Add the rest of the mince and bung through a burger press.
BBQd on my Gulf BBQ. Excuse the patina but it has done a few Le Mans trips now.
Into a baguette with some garnish and condiments. Eat outside in the sun.
Here is my take on a Le Mans inspired Steak Hache with carrot and celeriac coleslaw
Burgers were made with onion, garlic and a bit of the mince bended together. Add the rest of the mince and bung through a burger press.
BBQd on my Gulf BBQ. Excuse the patina but it has done a few Le Mans trips now.
Into a baguette with some garnish and condiments. Eat outside in the sun.
Well it's been over a year since I last entered a PH cooking comp, I've been meaning to start re-entering for a while but we moved house at the beginning of the year and I also found that I had lost my cooking mojo a little bit and so really couldn't get re-motivated.
I thought I may have also missed out on this one too as we are currently on holiday in sunny Italy, but rather than make another excuse not to enter I decided to do something Italian themed with the fantastic local ingredients I could get my hands on so,
Italian Mozzarella stuffed Pesto and Prosciutto Burgers:
Ingredients:
A fresh ciabatta bun from the bakery up the road
A 75% beef 25% pork mince mix from the butcher
Some nice local veneto prosciutto
A ball of buffalo mozzarella
Basil from our little herb garden here
A couple of locally grown tomatoes and an onion for garnish
Half the Basil and half the prosciutto chopped up and added to the mince mix with some seasoning and then made into 8 burger patties, 2 of which are then merged with the cheese in between to make 4 mozzerlla stuffed burgers:
onto the grill (sadly gas as charcoal isn't allowed on the site we are at), each side basted with a basil pesto made from the rest of the basil, a few pine nuts and a bit of olive oil which had all been whizzed up while they cooked:
Fancy presentation shot before I put it back on a normal plate with its brothers and stuffed it in my gob:
If you are wondering what happened to the rest of the prosciutto, well I was so ecstatic that the mozzarella hadn't seeped out whilst cooking that I totally forgot to add it - I had intended to put it the grill for 30 seconds or so to crisp up and then put it on top, but never mind.
Some of the other entries have been fantastic, can anyone recommend a good burger press? I feel I need one in my life.
I thought I may have also missed out on this one too as we are currently on holiday in sunny Italy, but rather than make another excuse not to enter I decided to do something Italian themed with the fantastic local ingredients I could get my hands on so,
Italian Mozzarella stuffed Pesto and Prosciutto Burgers:
Ingredients:
A fresh ciabatta bun from the bakery up the road
A 75% beef 25% pork mince mix from the butcher
Some nice local veneto prosciutto
A ball of buffalo mozzarella
Basil from our little herb garden here
A couple of locally grown tomatoes and an onion for garnish
Half the Basil and half the prosciutto chopped up and added to the mince mix with some seasoning and then made into 8 burger patties, 2 of which are then merged with the cheese in between to make 4 mozzerlla stuffed burgers:
onto the grill (sadly gas as charcoal isn't allowed on the site we are at), each side basted with a basil pesto made from the rest of the basil, a few pine nuts and a bit of olive oil which had all been whizzed up while they cooked:
Fancy presentation shot before I put it back on a normal plate with its brothers and stuffed it in my gob:
If you are wondering what happened to the rest of the prosciutto, well I was so ecstatic that the mozzarella hadn't seeped out whilst cooking that I totally forgot to add it - I had intended to put it the grill for 30 seconds or so to crisp up and then put it on top, but never mind.
Some of the other entries have been fantastic, can anyone recommend a good burger press? I feel I need one in my life.
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