Small children in restaurants
Discussion
Sheepshanks said:
Our granddaughters (one to each of our daughters) OTOH, are bonkers and generally can't sit still for more than a few seconds. The older one is getting better but does everything at 100MPH and her activity needs to be constantly led - leave her for a moment and she's off.
Our midwife said she has two daughters, each has two kids. One of them is "strict" with rules and limits and so on and one of them is a bit more "they must express themselves". Can you guess which are well behaved?I will absolutely have rules and my OH and I will also agree those rules and we will both enforce them. The difficulty is what rules etc to have and how to enforce them.......
ETA - I also have a friend who has little control over her brats. Sadly, we no longer want to go out to dinner with them because their kids are the ones running around the place causing havoc.
Jasandjules said:
I will absolutely have rules and my OH and I will also agree those rules and we will both enforce them. The difficulty is what rules etc to have and how to enforce them.......
..and who is doing the enforcing. These days many couples work full-time and probably only see their kids for a couple of hours a day.ewenm said:
Be their parent not their friend.
Clear boundaries.
Don't threaten something you're not prepared to follow through on.
Rewards for good behaviour, not to stop bad behaviour.
Edit: while it's tiny, organise your life so that if you're out socially, the sprog is sleeping in a pram or similar. They mostly sleep or eat for a good while, so once a routine is established it's manageable.
It is really as simple as this, well said. A proud incident from about 12 years ago occurred when Raymond Blanc sent an icecream over for our four year old at a busy restuarant in Birmingham (Le petit Blanc) because "she is so pretty and well-behaved"; her younger sister (fed and changed before we went out for lunch was asleep in her pram next to the table). We always have taken them out to nice places to eat but always for lunch when they were very young and always ordered main courses and not starters; we worked on a 45/60 minute rule and mentioned this as we arrived; staff were always accommodating.Clear boundaries.
Don't threaten something you're not prepared to follow through on.
Rewards for good behaviour, not to stop bad behaviour.
Edit: while it's tiny, organise your life so that if you're out socially, the sprog is sleeping in a pram or similar. They mostly sleep or eat for a good while, so once a routine is established it's manageable.
Edited by ewenm on Monday 7th September 15:01
The result is we have two daughters who, from a young age have been able to work through a menu and be polite to the staff, and, when called for, politely complain if something is cold or not what ordered.
Personally, I tend to adjust my expectations depending on the restaurant. If it's somewhere like Pizza Express where they keep a supply of crayons and colouring pads on hand, it's clear that they are geared towards families with young children and it would be churlish for anyone eating there to complain about typical levels of noise/disturbance. Conversely, that sort of behaviour is less acceptable in any sort of fine dining place.
A lot depends on the child too - if they can be relied upon to behave reasonably or heed instructions, they can go anywhere as far as I'm concerned. Those that can't should be limited to family-orientated places - or, if their behaviour is completely off the wall, they shouldn't be allowed to eat out until they've learned the associated rules.
A lot depends on the child too - if they can be relied upon to behave reasonably or heed instructions, they can go anywhere as far as I'm concerned. Those that can't should be limited to family-orientated places - or, if their behaviour is completely off the wall, they shouldn't be allowed to eat out until they've learned the associated rules.
Went on a date locally last night and deliberately chose a small family run Italian to ensure we had the right environment. Was horrified to find a couple with a small sprog (18months I'd guess) and yep the kid played up. However they were trying really hard and seemed a nice family, the dad took her outside when she got really loud (teething perhaps) and I rather saw it as a test of my own character. I'm a non parent but should probably try to understand what it's like to be one. That said there are some places in Chiswick I wouldn't dream of going, however it's crappie parenting and not the poor kids fault. Half of them don't seem to have a proper relationship with their offspring, show them some interest and they'd probably behave differently.
Frankly the last thing parents want is people tutting.
The crap parents won't care/notice.
The good ones will be stressed out and having a crap time and tutting will just wind them up further and possible make them go fxxx it, and give in.
Mine are pretty good most of the time but we do have bad days. Certainly taking them out often means they know how to behave but you do have to manage it. Appropriate restaurants at appropriate times.
The crap parents won't care/notice.
The good ones will be stressed out and having a crap time and tutting will just wind them up further and possible make them go fxxx it, and give in.
Mine are pretty good most of the time but we do have bad days. Certainly taking them out often means they know how to behave but you do have to manage it. Appropriate restaurants at appropriate times.
dave_s13 said:
We had two flights in as many weeks recently y (Spain then France). Our 23 month old was hard f
king work, really really hard. He can't sit still for more than 8seconds (timed him) and at that age you can't get it seat for them. He wasn't disruptive or loud but I've never been more happy to get off an aeroplane in my life.
Basically, at that age, I don't care if you're nanny mcphee herself, if the child is anything other thana lifeless lump most of the time you are gonna have to work hard. If you don't like kids on planes then don't travel out of term time, or pay for business class.
Oh and ours can be hard work in resteraunts, only for us though, I'd never just let then run free and I have on the couple of occasions just called time on the whole thing and left without ordering.
Kids; the hardest job in the world, ever.
Great generalisations! Seems like we have a lifeless lump then...king work, really really hard. He can't sit still for more than 8seconds (timed him) and at that age you can't get it seat for them. He wasn't disruptive or loud but I've never been more happy to get off an aeroplane in my life. Basically, at that age, I don't care if you're nanny mcphee herself, if the child is anything other thana lifeless lump most of the time you are gonna have to work hard. If you don't like kids on planes then don't travel out of term time, or pay for business class.
Oh and ours can be hard work in resteraunts, only for us though, I'd never just let then run free and I have on the couple of occasions just called time on the whole thing and left without ordering.
Kids; the hardest job in the world, ever.
First restaurant visit: a few days old: no problem
First hotel stay: 2 weeks old: no problem.
First flight: 12 months: no problem.
First long-haul (11 hours): 3 years old: no problem.
Can't say if it works for everyone, but we started getting ours used to public spaces as early as possible. Always kept her well-fed/comfortable/busy when she was very small so she would have no reason to be restless, and gradually instilled a sense of respect and discipline as she grew older and aware.
Probably some luck that we have good-natured children, combined with (my wife's) excellent parenting skills.
Edited by monamimate on Tuesday 8th September 10:37
FredClogs said:
Usually my kids are very well behaved in public, my missus and I are meek types, don't like to make a fuss or upset people and we're all well socialised. That said if I ever spot the kind of miserable, Victorian era, joyless fkwits who populate these threads when we're out I deliberately send the kids to target them with noise, mash potato and plenty of sticky sugary drinks. Can's stand the heat? Get out of the kitchen Meldrew.
I love the way this went! kwits who populate these threads when we're out I deliberately send the kids to target them with noise, mash potato and plenty of sticky sugary drinks. Can's stand the heat? Get out of the kitchen Meldrew.
This reminds me of the time that I employed Ferran Adria and Rene Redzepi as private chefs aboard my yacht. It was midway through the 400 course tasting menu when Aloysius (5) and Araminta (3) had finished every mouthful and hadn't said a peep that Ferran and Rene agreed that Cressida and my children were without doubt the most well-behaved either of them had ever encountered and gave them £100 each out of their own pockets. It was good to see that all the money spent on governesses hadn't been wasted.
Ferran made a special black truffle foam for Aloysius and Araminta to share and I was most gratified when both of them agreed that in their opinions the texture would be more honestly described as a mousse than a foam. They immediately summoned the chefs and were firm but fair in delivering a well-deserved dressing-down.
Ferran made a special black truffle foam for Aloysius and Araminta to share and I was most gratified when both of them agreed that in their opinions the texture would be more honestly described as a mousse than a foam. They immediately summoned the chefs and were firm but fair in delivering a well-deserved dressing-down.
Sheepshanks said:
As I said earlier, ours were great, and are both clever and went on to proper uni's and good jobs.
I don't wish to be rude but this sentence came across as a bit snobbish. It implies that only clever kids can be well behaved.My son has always been well behaved in public and is quite bright but we are currently looking at uni's and am not sure which ones constitute 'proper' and not sure what bearing it has on my son if we don't get him into a 'proper' one and he ends up in one of the improper universities riddled with badly behaved teenagers.
Does the last part of your sentence have any bearing on the discussion of well behaved children?
BoRED S2upid said:
It's certainly a tricky one. We won't go out for an evening meal as little BS2 is in bed by 7:30. The odd time we go out for lunch he's flirting with the waitresses.
Sounds like my boy (7 months old). I am slightly wary of what he will be like in a year or two as he has a lot of energy. Saying that, he loves food, so I reckon he'd be more interested in eating rather than running around.
Risotto said:
Personally, I tend to adjust my expectations depending on the restaurant. If it's somewhere like Pizza Express where they keep a supply of crayons and colouring pads on hand, it's clear that they are geared towards families with young children and it would be churlish for anyone eating there to complain about typical levels of noise/disturbance. Conversely, that sort of behaviour is less acceptable in any sort of fine dining place.
Yes, totally agree. If we're somewhere like Pizza Express or somewhere thats clearly family oriented, then i've no probs with that.Gassing Station | Food, Drink & Restaurants | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff