sigh, thoughts on a nose job?
Discussion
Dare you to read it.
I'm a young guy in my mid twenties about to move out of my parents house for the first time due to a job elsewhere and to cut a long story short: I'm quite insecure about my massive honker.
Weirdly it only started towards the latter years of high school, before that I was actually quite confident and doing "well" with the girls. I never had it as easy as some of the more handsome fellas but my confidence usually made up for it. Towards the end of high school I became increasingly self-conscious and this started to affect my social life, I believe it made me excessively introverted. I would much prefer sitting at home playing video games than going out and meeting new people, it became daunting/a task to meet new people, particularly if they were attractive young women!
This pattern pretty much continued all throughout university (for 5 years!!) where video games were simply replaced with more studying/doing stuff by myself. I resent the fact that I wasn't more outgoing/confident during my prime years and I hardly made any new friends because of it.
Everyone has insecurities, some more so than others. I have loads of other issues that I am willing to live with but I genuinely think that I would be a handsome lad if I was to get my nose "corrected". My nose isn't just big but it is hooked and quite disproportionate with the rest of my face, I can't even take pictures with friends and family without feeling like a tool (as you can imagine the side profile is the worst). It's not like I'm a complete mess either, I'm actually very well groomed and have been complemented on several occasions on my attire; this simply annoys me more.
Now the question is should I get a nose job? I've been toying with this for years but it has never been easier for me to do it. I don't want to have to explain this decision to my family or my girlfriend and am wondering if they would notice? I would live miles and miles away and could justify not seeing them for a month or so, after which they may think I have lost weight or something. (it's very common for people to not notice the new nose and think it is something else).
I've never ever told anyone about these, my deepest insecurities. It's a weird scenario but I'm hoping you fellow petrol heads can help me out here.
(before anyone suggests "you just need to be yourself, be more confident" etc. I've tried that for a good few years now and it really isn't happening)
I'm a young guy in my mid twenties about to move out of my parents house for the first time due to a job elsewhere and to cut a long story short: I'm quite insecure about my massive honker.
Weirdly it only started towards the latter years of high school, before that I was actually quite confident and doing "well" with the girls. I never had it as easy as some of the more handsome fellas but my confidence usually made up for it. Towards the end of high school I became increasingly self-conscious and this started to affect my social life, I believe it made me excessively introverted. I would much prefer sitting at home playing video games than going out and meeting new people, it became daunting/a task to meet new people, particularly if they were attractive young women!
This pattern pretty much continued all throughout university (for 5 years!!) where video games were simply replaced with more studying/doing stuff by myself. I resent the fact that I wasn't more outgoing/confident during my prime years and I hardly made any new friends because of it.
Everyone has insecurities, some more so than others. I have loads of other issues that I am willing to live with but I genuinely think that I would be a handsome lad if I was to get my nose "corrected". My nose isn't just big but it is hooked and quite disproportionate with the rest of my face, I can't even take pictures with friends and family without feeling like a tool (as you can imagine the side profile is the worst). It's not like I'm a complete mess either, I'm actually very well groomed and have been complemented on several occasions on my attire; this simply annoys me more.
Now the question is should I get a nose job? I've been toying with this for years but it has never been easier for me to do it. I don't want to have to explain this decision to my family or my girlfriend and am wondering if they would notice? I would live miles and miles away and could justify not seeing them for a month or so, after which they may think I have lost weight or something. (it's very common for people to not notice the new nose and think it is something else).
I've never ever told anyone about these, my deepest insecurities. It's a weird scenario but I'm hoping you fellow petrol heads can help me out here.
(before anyone suggests "you just need to be yourself, be more confident" etc. I've tried that for a good few years now and it really isn't happening)
MTFU. I've got a big misshaped hooter. So what? You need more self confidence and the hooter issue will evaporate.
Are there other areas of self confidence issues?
Dear god talk about FWP.
Go to the gym, build yourself up, run , cycle, get new clothes!
Unless your girlfriend refuses to give you a blowup because you nose is too big ignore it. And even then get another GF.
Mike
Ps I fully understand self perception issues but NO ONE will notice you nose if you show self confidence. Look at tony Robbins - massive snozz
PPS I know you've tried more self confidence but try more. Don't get surgery mate. Really don't. Any way in 30 years all your mates will have big noses as well as its the only thing that keeps growing.
PPPS should we do a picture of your big nose to boost the OPs confidence?
Are there other areas of self confidence issues?
Dear god talk about FWP.
Go to the gym, build yourself up, run , cycle, get new clothes!
Unless your girlfriend refuses to give you a blowup because you nose is too big ignore it. And even then get another GF.
Mike
Ps I fully understand self perception issues but NO ONE will notice you nose if you show self confidence. Look at tony Robbins - massive snozz
PPS I know you've tried more self confidence but try more. Don't get surgery mate. Really don't. Any way in 30 years all your mates will have big noses as well as its the only thing that keeps growing.
PPPS should we do a picture of your big nose to boost the OPs confidence?
Edited by mikees on Tuesday 28th June 22:14
haha cheers Mike.
I do all of what you have stated. I routinely go to the gym, dress smart etc. I think I painted myself as a complete nerd/loner/gamer which I am not.
FWP indeed and I do feel like a little b
h having written all that rubbish above.
Also, for perspective, Tony Robbins has a much smaller snout than mine.
Sorry gents, I would rather not plaster a picture on here but needless to say it's big enough to have been taunted throughout life. (I was never really bullied though)
When I say I have tried for years to MTFU, I literally mean that. It has definitely shat all over my confidence, struggle in management/ confrontational scenarios and hate doing anything which brings attention to myself.
I know the issue is largely in my head. When I am off my tits on alcohol I become super confident and have no issues approaching even the finest of tail.
I do all of what you have stated. I routinely go to the gym, dress smart etc. I think I painted myself as a complete nerd/loner/gamer which I am not.
FWP indeed and I do feel like a little b
h having written all that rubbish above.Also, for perspective, Tony Robbins has a much smaller snout than mine.
Sorry gents, I would rather not plaster a picture on here but needless to say it's big enough to have been taunted throughout life. (I was never really bullied though)
When I say I have tried for years to MTFU, I literally mean that. It has definitely shat all over my confidence, struggle in management/ confrontational scenarios and hate doing anything which brings attention to myself.
I know the issue is largely in my head. When I am off my tits on alcohol I become super confident and have no issues approaching even the finest of tail.
ardvarc said:
haha cheers Mike.
I do all of what you have stated. I routinely go to the gym, dress smart etc. I think I painted myself as a complete nerd/loner/gamer which I am not.
FWP indeed and I do feel like a little bh having written all that rubbish above.
Also, for perspective, Tony Robbins has a much smaller snout than mine.
Sorry gents, I would rather not plaster a picture on here but needless to say it's big enough to have been taunted throughout life. (I was never really bullied though)
When I say I have tried for years to MTFU, I literally mean that. It has definitely shat all over my confidence, struggle in management/ confrontational scenarios and hate doing anything which brings attention to myself.
I know the issue is largely in my head. When I am off my tits on alcohol I become super confident and have no issues approaching even the finest of tail.
It doesn't have to be a picture of you, just the nose.I do all of what you have stated. I routinely go to the gym, dress smart etc. I think I painted myself as a complete nerd/loner/gamer which I am not.
FWP indeed and I do feel like a little b
h having written all that rubbish above.Also, for perspective, Tony Robbins has a much smaller snout than mine.
Sorry gents, I would rather not plaster a picture on here but needless to say it's big enough to have been taunted throughout life. (I was never really bullied though)
When I say I have tried for years to MTFU, I literally mean that. It has definitely shat all over my confidence, struggle in management/ confrontational scenarios and hate doing anything which brings attention to myself.
I know the issue is largely in my head. When I am off my tits on alcohol I become super confident and have no issues approaching even the finest of tail.
RossiT said:
A slightly different opinion from the guys above. If your really unhappy about your hooter and can do something about it, then go for it.
It's not a major thing and will probably give your confidence a huge boost.
I agree but don't expect no-one to notice.It's not a major thing and will probably give your confidence a huge boost.
You'll have to own up or come up with a very good story.
How about directing the resources (money, time, energy) into your self image and self confidence? You said it yourself - it's not your body that's the problem, it's your feelings about it. Go see a counsellor, get the inside of your noggin in best possible operating condition before you consider letting a surgeon near the outside of it.
PS this is not a HTFU situation and that's okay. Don't run yourself into the ground trying to fix something alone that you could handle so much more easily with help.
PS this is not a HTFU situation and that's okay. Don't run yourself into the ground trying to fix something alone that you could handle so much more easily with help.
It seems to be causing you enough of a problem for it to be hindering your life in some way, which is why I say: Go for it! If it's within your means to get it done (ie. financially) then fire away. No doubt you will be happier for it and will exude confidence in situations where before you were the opposite.
It's easy for people not in your shoes to dismiss the idea - rhinoplasty is very popular because millions of people find themselves in a similar position to what you're in!
However, be careful you don't have body dysmorphic disorder, as you may suddenly become unhappy with another body part or feature - in which case a psychiatrist is the only feasible route to happiness.
It's easy for people not in your shoes to dismiss the idea - rhinoplasty is very popular because millions of people find themselves in a similar position to what you're in!
However, be careful you don't have body dysmorphic disorder, as you may suddenly become unhappy with another body part or feature - in which case a psychiatrist is the only feasible route to happiness.
I dont really go in for the MTFU type responses, and I dont think they help someone.
I've had a similar issue with my teeth, to me they looked like an earthquake in a graveyard, and for many years it stopped me smiling when I knew I was being watched, or if I did it was more of a lip smile rather than show teeth.
So I had a brace fitted in my 30s, which straightened them out really well. I'm proud of them now and happy to smile and show off my gnashers. What you've got to be careful of though is that if you get your conk fixed, are you sure it's just that and that's the secret to your happiness, or are you going to start looking at your toes and think you cant possibly go out with that big toe, so the process starts again
What you probably need to think about more is are you giving yourself a bit too much self loathing that it's stopping you doing 'stuff' and whether surgery is the right answer. You can learn to love yourself and it's surprising that people can be accepting of faults, ie you dont have to be perfect
I've had a similar issue with my teeth, to me they looked like an earthquake in a graveyard, and for many years it stopped me smiling when I knew I was being watched, or if I did it was more of a lip smile rather than show teeth.
So I had a brace fitted in my 30s, which straightened them out really well. I'm proud of them now and happy to smile and show off my gnashers. What you've got to be careful of though is that if you get your conk fixed, are you sure it's just that and that's the secret to your happiness, or are you going to start looking at your toes and think you cant possibly go out with that big toe, so the process starts again
What you probably need to think about more is are you giving yourself a bit too much self loathing that it's stopping you doing 'stuff' and whether surgery is the right answer. You can learn to love yourself and it's surprising that people can be accepting of faults, ie you dont have to be perfect
This sounds like a really big issue for OP. It could be like depression for sufferers you're telling to MTFU! It's obviously plaging the chap enough to post and ask for advice. He's looking for people who've had it done and to reinforce his concerns.
OP, get it done. Women get their whammers done for exactly the same reason, and the stories of the boost in confidence is out there.
OP, get it done. Women get their whammers done for exactly the same reason, and the stories of the boost in confidence is out there.
I come from a family with big honkers on my mum's side. I also have an identical twin brother, we both have a roman nose - 'roamin all over his face', as one of my collegues once put it (one of the few insults over the years I did laugh at).
It hasn't stopped me being succesful with the ladies in my time, I've had more than my fair share of sexual partners, but I do wonder if I could have been more successful if I had got it fixed.
Problem for me was my twin was always hugely sensitive about it, but I wasn't so much. To complicate matters further, I have broken mine twice - once is a nightclub when some sly fker punched me when I wasn't looking, and once in a very drunken accident where my mate accidentally headbutted me, so as well as being roman it is also now slight off centre. Ergo I've got more reason to get mine fixed than my bro, because I now look a bit different to him. However I thought that if I got it done then it would focus the issue more on him, so he would then feel more pressure, so would probably need to get it done too when he might not want to draw attention to it - people compare you when you are a twin. That said, his wife is stunning, the kind of woman that stops traffic, so it hasn't held him back.
Add in too that I have worked in the same large company for 18 years. I wouldn't want to walk in one day with a 'new' face, for all the attention it would bring. There is still a stigma attached to getting a nose job - largely propogated by people who have never had to endure taunts about having a large hooter.
If I were you, single and about to relocaate, where you will meet new friends, I would get it done if you are conscious about it and can afford it. I know people who have, and it has given them the confidnce they felt was missing and a whole new lease of life.
It hasn't stopped me being succesful with the ladies in my time, I've had more than my fair share of sexual partners, but I do wonder if I could have been more successful if I had got it fixed.
Problem for me was my twin was always hugely sensitive about it, but I wasn't so much. To complicate matters further, I have broken mine twice - once is a nightclub when some sly f
ker punched me when I wasn't looking, and once in a very drunken accident where my mate accidentally headbutted me, so as well as being roman it is also now slight off centre. Ergo I've got more reason to get mine fixed than my bro, because I now look a bit different to him. However I thought that if I got it done then it would focus the issue more on him, so he would then feel more pressure, so would probably need to get it done too when he might not want to draw attention to it - people compare you when you are a twin. That said, his wife is stunning, the kind of woman that stops traffic, so it hasn't held him back. Add in too that I have worked in the same large company for 18 years. I wouldn't want to walk in one day with a 'new' face, for all the attention it would bring. There is still a stigma attached to getting a nose job - largely propogated by people who have never had to endure taunts about having a large hooter.
If I were you, single and about to relocaate, where you will meet new friends, I would get it done if you are conscious about it and can afford it. I know people who have, and it has given them the confidnce they felt was missing and a whole new lease of life.
Edited by PurpleTurtle on Wednesday 29th June 12:11
Edited by PurpleTurtle on Wednesday 29th June 12:11
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