Songs That Boil Your P***

[okgo]

zippy500 said:

Current song by the Noisettes, utter tripe.

The track with some of the lyrics from Spin Me Round by Dead or Alive, cant remember who they are, but its awful.

Anything by Hard-fi. ste-fi more like. My cat has more talent than those morons in her front left paw.

Flo-Rider?

Hard-Fi are not too bad.. They haven't released much of late though!!

[smiller]

Jesus, where does one f!cking stop???

"The Girl is Mine" Jackson & McCartney (especially where Jackson says "I'm a lover, not a fighter")

Agadoo

The Final C!ntdown by Europe

Beethoven's 9th

Rhapsody in Blue

Orange Juice's "Rip it up & start again"

Pachelbel's Canon

That girl that repeats "that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name" etc etc etc f!cking etc

[MarkoTVR]

'Love Shack' by The B52s. The rage I feel after just a few seconds of that infernal tripe is unreal.

[Glassman]

smiller said:

Jesus, where does one f!cking stop???

"The Girl is Mine" Jackson & McCartney (especially where Jackson says "I'm a lover, not a fighter")

Agadoo

The Final C!ntdown by Europe

Beethoven's 9th

Rhapsody in Blue

Orange Juice's "Rip it up & start again"

Pachelbel's Canon

That girl that repeats "that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name" etc etc etc f!cking etc

You've got it bad

[The Hypno-Toad]

Glassman said:

smiller said:

That girl that repeats "that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name" etc etc etc f!cking etc

You've got it bad

No he hasn't I have. Crimes against music should be punishable by DEATH!!!!

Ting Tings - Die! Die!

Words cannot express my hated for Taylor Swift. However if I could find a lighting gantry at her next miming session, sorry concert, I would be able to express my utter contempt for this snot nosed little airhead with a Barratt Light 50 and a good scope.

Those Were The Days Of Our Lives - Queen. Horrible maudlin self indulgent rubbish and Taylor & May should be executed in public for keep trying to dig up Freddies corpse every few years with pointless 'reunions'.

Bobby Goldsbro - Honey. The only record in existence which is actually physically painful to listen to.

Any of that arty-farty nonsense Genesis did before they learned to make pop songs. 20 minutes singing about wardrobes dressed as a daffodil. Jesus.

Anything at all ever by Yes. Tales From Topographic Oceans. WTF??

That Wet, Wet, Wet song that drove the lead singer to heroin. And the fact that all the profits from that help poor old Reg commuincate with the Aliens in the circles.

Whitney Houston destroying that Dolly Parton song with her jaw wobbling melodramatics. Cracks too good for her.

Everything I fking do I do for you by Brian 'I wrote this for the money you know' Adams. Really Brian? We can tell.

Imagine - John Lennon. Pious dreary crap about not having anything from a man who had more than most people will ever imagine.

A Day in the Life - The Beatles. Its not genius. They were stoned out of their gourds.

Those Westlife & Boyzone fktards


Anything ever by any X Factor winner. Don't you get it? all the money goes to Cowell. You are a product, a milch cow for him to wring every last penny from the dripping pizza eating, diet coke swilling pondlife who can't be bothered to go and find anything original to listen and just want recycled showtunes, you stupid fks.

Any popstar who writes songs about tough it is being a popstar. Oh no, I have to go into a recording studio today and do a verse while drinking lots of champagne while groupies blow me. Then I have to go on tour and listen to hordes of people screaming how much they love me while I sing to a backing track before going back stage so groupies can blow me. Then I have to go to a radio station and plug my album before snorting some coke while groupies blow me. Then I have to stay in luxury hotels while groupies blow me. But no one understands I'm so creative and really all I want to do is have a normal existance, wife and kids like you. What can possibly make up for this terrible life?
Oh I know the money, the Enzo, the helicopter, the mansions, the swimming pools, the supermodel wife, the money, the SLR, the holidays, the freebies, the money and let me see now............ oh I know, the groupies blowing me.



I really need to relax, man.

P.S. Edited to add Lily Allen, Kate Nash and Sandi Thom. fk off you talentless little droning wannabes who have as much to say about the human conditon as a piece of fungus growing on the backside of an African Mountain Gorilla. You are not the voice of a generation, you are pathetic little gobs of spittle that should be wiped from the rabid mouth of our culturally bankrupt society.

Edited by The Hypno-Toad on Friday 24th April 07:52

[hugo a gogo]

"You're so vain....I bet you think this song is about you" - well it is! (well, not me, him, Warren Beatty)

[SGirl]

The Hypno-Toad said:

Whitney Houston destroying that Dolly Parton song with her jaw wobbling melodramatics. Cracks too good for her.

I forgot that one! Can I have that one as well, please? And I hate it even more when our neighbour warbles along in the mistaken belief that she can sing.

And while I'm here - can I please also have anything extremely loud and techno-ey which is heard from the neighbours' house while I'm trying to work.

And also that "mm Danone" jingle.

Edited by SGirl on Friday 24th April 08:34

[Hudson]

Anything R+B is the music equivalent of a pot noodle. also my checmical romance can FOAD.

and the beatles, or more specificly, the hysterical fanboys that claim they`re the best thing since oxygen. they`re terrible!
yeah i went there. sue me.

[Glassman]

Hudson said:

Anything R+B

[5pen]

Kate Nash - Foundations. There loads more, but that is the first one that springs to mind. Dreadful, dreadful song.

[shirt]

has kate nash released any other songs? thats the only one they play on the radio and yeah it is annoying.

i had to listen to local radio last night [viking] whilst decorating as i have killed the cd player with plaster dust. truly truly terrible. i nominate anything described as "the best of the 80's, 90's and now" as highly worthy of inclusion in this thread.




for the OP, can you stream radio from the web? bbc radio6 is the only station i can listen to without suicidal thoughts. bob dylan's theme time radio hour is superb.

there's also a 60's garage station that broadcast out of san francisco, but i can't remember the name.

[Sir Snaz]

Hypno-Toad for Prime Miinister!!! .....I like your style

[clonmult]

Anything by Duffy. She can't sing. She looks ever so slightly bizarre. Munchkin?

Amy Winehouse. Can't stand her music, can't stand her. Oxygen thief.

Oasis. How many times can they slightly re-make the same old basic rhythms and give it a different name.

Coldplay. Music to string yourself up to? Its the perfect way to push a mildly suicidal person over the edge. And just plain depress everyone else on the planet.

[Alfanatic]

@ hypno-toad! Do you write Marcus Brigstoke's material by any chance?

[Negative Creep]

Any Christmas songs (yes, including Faireytale in New York)

[carmadgaz]

Negative Creep said:

(yes, including Faireytale in New York)

You scumbag, you maggot

[shirt]

Negative Creep said:

Any Christmas songs (yes, including Faireytale in New York)

agree with one singular exception. christmas [baby please come home] by darlene love. stone cold classic.

[The Hypno-Toad]

Alfanatic said:

@ hypno-toad! Do you write Marcus Brigstoke's material by any chance?

I wish! But thanks to you for the praise.

But I did forget some.

Vanilla Ice - Ice, Ice Baby. When this came out people in the states were saying that he was the New Elvis. I just thought he was a tt with a bad haircut.

Sinetta - Love & Affection. Yes she did cover the most beautiful song in the whole of human history. Yes she did make it sound terrible. No I'm not posting a youtube link.

At Seventeen - Janis Ian. Its no wonder you're not getting any dates you whining, moppy, vain, self pitying waste of space. The song for every fat girl at school. "I'll just kill myself and then you'll be sorry,"

Macarthur Park - Anyone who ever sang it (and there are a lot). The very definition, in fact probably the very reason why, the phrase what the fk was invented.

Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan. They don't play this very much on the radio these days, I wonder why? Oh I know. Because it will make anyone who hears it want to slash their wrists. Believe me, the entire canon of work of The Smiths has nothing on this guy.

Seasons In The Sun - Terry Jacks. "We had joy, we had fun, we stuck our fingers up our bum," as we used to sing at school. I'm dying but before I go I'll make you listen to this dirge.

The Christmas Shoes - Newsong. You wanna talk about bad Christmas records. This is the Bunker Buster of all Christmas. Under no circumstances must you ever google or youtube a link to this song. Within a verse you will be prising out your eyeballs with a pencil and filling you ears with hot melted wax to purge the memory of this appalling insult not just to music but to the whole of human kind.

Believe - Cher. Christ, there must be a lot of a gayers in the world to keep this at number one for so long. Vocals by Robocop.

Everybody Hurts - REM. Really Michael do they? Do they hurt sometime? Really? Profund man. Oh and Shiny Happy People's st too.

Any Comic Relief single

In fact any Charity single for stop. Apart from the beebs Perfect Day thing obv.

Edited by The Hypno-Toad on Friday 24th April 19:39

[snowy slopes]

@ hypnotoad and the barrat .50 comment!!! I totally agree with you


















P.S. I forgot to add, anything by that bunch of WGBE's known as The Dog's D'amour.

Edited by snowy slopes on Friday 24th April 20:55

[Alfanatic]

Negative Creep said:

Any Christmas songs (yes, including Faireytale in New York)

Oh yeah that one! Never heard it in SA. My first christmas in the UK and I hear it for the first time and think it's hilarious. By the end of the first christmas I'd heard it so many times I was completely sick of it.

Ah, and another round of rofls for the toad!