just saw this on faceballs

just saw this on faceballs

Author
Discussion

MaxA

Original Poster:

238 posts

144 months

Tuesday 9th February 2016
quotequote all
thought it was worth sharing:

- The hard shoulder of the road is a legitimate lane to use for overtaking, or exiting the highway.

- The use of indicators is to notify the other drivers to speed up and block your way.

- During peak traffic, tailgating/weaving/flashing will make the traffic move faster.

- If you feel that a gap between cars is too small, it’s ok, the car behind will brake for you when you suddenly change lanes.
-The louder your car, the cooler you are. It is highly encouraged to rev your loud car and race around, especially at late nights in residential areas.

- The use of rear-view/side mirrors is unnecessary...It is for decoration purpose only.

- If you see a sports car while driving a sports car, you are highly encouraged to pull up dangerously close to them and try to race them.

- If you miss your exit, do not proceed to next exit and make a U-turn. Instead, stop on the hard shoulder, and reverse back to the exit you missed.

- If you are aware that your exit is coming, do not prepare yourself by moving over to the right lane. It is faster and more efficient to stay in the fast lane until the last second, and cut through 6 lanes to take your exit.

- The "stop" signs on school busses are for decorative purpose only.

- Speed bumps are there to test your cars suspension: please go over them as fast as you dare.

- If there is a queue for an exit, please do not join the queue from the back. Instead, please proceed all the way to the front and then cut in. In the event no one lets you in, force yourself in ... it is acceptable to start a second queue on the highway.

- when trying to merge at an on/off ramp, if by letting the other car go in first allows for smoother traffic flow (and to give space for you to enter the road), NO NOT DO SO! Instead, block the way for other road users and ultimately for yourself as well.

- It is more efficient to speed between radars/cameras and to brake suddenly and reduce your speed to 20km/h below the speed limit then to accelerate again (and repeat) than to hold a constant speed.

- If you have social media, you are encouraged to take pictures and videos of the city while driving. The road is straight, no need to look.

- The correct distance to keep between yourself and the car in front of you is no more than 50cm. Any more than that is a waste of road space. Please be more efficient.

- If you are only comfortable driving at 80km/h, please keep to that. It is OK to do so on the far left lane on Emirates Road.

- The far left lane is The Fast Lane. Any other lane is not The Fast Lane. It is OK to be driving 60km/h on the second to left lane while everyone else is doing 120km/h. They will brake for you and avoid you.

- The highways here are also the local gymkhana track. Please weave through traffic and mark your fastest times. Extra point are awarded for how close you are to other traffic.

- The sunroof of the car is to enjoy the wind, fresh air, and scenery. Please allow your children to get the full experience by hanging out the sunroof while you are driving.

- The seatbelt will crease your shirt. It is advised not to wear a seatbelt.

- Every traffic light is a drag strip. If you do not move 0.002 seconds after the traffic light turns green, you fail. To encourage good timings, the driver of the vehicle 3 cars behind will honk his horn to encourage you.

- During the night, the roads are generally well lit and visibility is fine. There is no need to turn on your headlights. If your car has DRLs, that will do just fine.

- If the road is dark, please use the high-beam. Other road-users may be momentarily blind, but it is for your own safety.

- Smaller cars such as Nissan Tiida, Toyota Yaris, Kia Picanto (and such) deserve no respect on the road. Please ignore them.

- If you see a new driver on the road, please tailgate them or cut in front of them aggressively. Also, if they are indicating to change lanes, please block them. They need to practice more.