The Simpsons favourite bits thread

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TheEnd

15,370 posts

188 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
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tractorguy said:
From the prohibition episode,

Detective - I'll get you beer baron
Homer (in the distance) - no you won't
Detective - yes I will
Homer (in the distance) - doh!
And in the same episode-

(Moe's bar is disguised as a pet shop during prohibition)
Banner: Pet shop, eh? Well, I have one thing to say about that. What kind of pet shop is filled with rambunctious yahoos and hot jazz music at 1:00 in the morning?
Moe: Er, uh ... the ... best damn pet shop in town!
People: Yeah! (quickly raising their glasses from behind there backs whilst Banner has his back turned)

Famous Graham

26,553 posts

225 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
I love the fact that absolutely no one read the OP, just the title hehe

F i F

44,065 posts

251 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Famous Graham said:
I love the fact that absolutely no one read the OP, just the title hehe
Not just me then, I have no idea of the answer to the OP's question.

Suspect it would have been a slow thread though.

Smiler.

11,752 posts

230 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Famous Graham said:
I love the fact that absolutely no one read the OP, just the title hehe
Doh!

F i F

44,065 posts

251 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Smiler. said:
Famous Graham said:
I love the fact that absolutely no one read the OP, just the title hehe
Doh!
A deer! wink

OlberJ

Original Poster:

14,101 posts

233 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Ha, aye. It's working better like this anyways.

"When yer alone and life is getting you down, said u can always go.....acht doontoon!"

rufusruffcutt

1,539 posts

205 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
I wish the writing was still as good as this.

Homer: "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Homer: "Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

Grandpa Simpson: "Dear Mr. President, There are too many States nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot."

Mr. Burns: "Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [Cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?"
Smithers: "Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder."
Mr. Burns: "Damn their oily hides!"

Chief Wiggum: "This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. repeat, hatless."

Principal Skinner: "Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie."

Kent Brockman: "Dozens of people are gunned down each day, but until now, none of them was important. At 3:00 PM Friday, local autocrat C. Montgomery Burns was shot following a tense confrontation at town hall. He was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then taken to a better hospital where his condition was upgraded to "alive.""

Krusty the Clown: "Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box?"

Troy McClure: "Hi. I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot.""

Rainier Wolfcastle: "My new movie is me, standing in front of a brick wall for 90 minutes. It cost 80 million dollars to make."
Jay Sherman: "How do you sleep at night?"
Rainier Wolfcastle: "On top of a pile of money, with many beautiful women."

Superintendent Chalmers: "“Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion."

shakotan

10,695 posts

196 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Nibbles the hamster comes rolling up in his Hamster ball, to Principal Skinner, who is tied up is a burlap sack.

Principal Skinner: You did it, Nibbles. Now, chew through my ballsack"

Nibbles: !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI2sy3i5Rvc&fea...

shakotan

10,695 posts

196 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
tractorguy said:
From the prohibition episode,

Detective - I'll get you beer baron
Homer (in the distance) - no you won't
Detective - yes I will
Homer (in the distance) - doh!
Actually, the lastline is "won't...", not "d'oh!"

aclivity

4,072 posts

188 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
no words to quote, but the bit in the Cape Fear episode when Side Show Bob keeps stepping on the rakes gets me every time.

Another bit is when Side Show Bob's brother, Cecil Terwilliger (voiced by David Hyde Peirce) has either Bart or Lisa's hands over his eyes and says "Maris?"

Pretty much anything with the Terwilligers in, to be honest.

SkinnyBoy

4,635 posts

258 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Flanders: Were you riding two abreast?
Homer: I wish!

Homer is just superb. The whole show used to be brilliant, can't say I have seen a new episode though.

Devilstreak

8,088 posts

181 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Quinny said:
This one..... Especially when he homer looks in the mirror and frightens himselfhehe

No tv, no beer make homer somthing somthing........go crazy?? Don't mind if I dohehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yGJGTjV2WE&fea...
I was hoping I could post this one. Easily the best moment of the Simpsons IMO

anonymous-user

54 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
rufusruffcutt said:
Chief Wiggum: "This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. repeat, hatless."
hehe

My favourite line of them all is still Ralph:

"Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

So stupid but it makes me laugh every time.

SkinnyBoy

4,635 posts

258 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Symbolica said:
hehe

My favourite line of them all is still Ralph:

"Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

So stupid but it makes me laugh every time.
Ralph is awesome, i still use that line when i call my sister in England haha

Y282

20,566 posts

172 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Symbolica said:
hehe

My favourite line of them all is still Ralph:

"Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

So stupid but it makes me laugh every time.
that cracks me up.

personal favourites:

1.

skinner: "up yours, children!"

2.

homer: "flaaaaaaan-deeeerrrrssss.....
...flaaaaaaan-deeeerrrrssss.....
...flaaaaaaan-deeeerrrrssss....."

ned: "WHAT?!"

homer: "GAME'S OUT THERE!!"

BrabusMog

20,145 posts

186 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
aclivity said:
no words to quote, but the bit in the Cape Fear episode when Side Show Bob keeps stepping on the rakes gets me every time.

Another bit is when Side Show Bob's brother, Cecil Terwilliger (voiced by David Hyde Peirce) has either Bart or Lisa's hands over his eyes and says "Maris?"

Pretty much anything with the Terwilligers in, to be honest.
"Ah the rake, my second nemesis"

I remember being in hysterics at those rake scenes, pure magic!

shakotan

10,695 posts

196 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
OlberJ said:
Feel this is the appropriate place for this. As per the animated GIF thread it would seem there are a few SimpsonHeads on here so thought we could try a little game of name that episode.

Nae googling as that would just spoil it. And we're off. You guess right, you get to do the next one.

"Bart!"

ppppppaaaaaarrrrrrp!

".....Well, that shut me up."
Beyond Blunderdome

shakotan

10,695 posts

196 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Seti said:
Homer finds Bart and Lisa fighting and splits them up.

Homer - 'What were you fighting about?'
Lisa - 'We were fighting over who loves you more!'

Homer - 'Aaah, carry on then'

Lisa -'you love him more!'
Bart - 'No, you love him more!'
There's No Disgrace Like Home

shakotan

10,695 posts

196 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
OlberJ said:
Shut up brain or i'll stab you with a cue tip.
Boy Scouts N The Hood

shakotan

10,695 posts

196 months

Tuesday 2nd August 2011
quotequote all
Oily Nails said:
Lisa practising her saxophone disturbs Marge daydreaming on the couch about a romantic novel...

Marge: "Lissaaa pleease stop that.."
Lisa: "But mom I have to practise.."
Marge: "I know hunni but I sacrificed a perfectly good camera for for your father to fix for some quiet...

Cuts to Homer in the garage trying to fix the camera by holding drill atop it whislt trying to hit it with a hammer
Homer: "Careful....eassssy...."
WHACK

Camera instantly breaks into a hundred pieces

Homer: "hmmmmmmm........ need a bigger drill..."


rofl

sums up so many incidents of DIY disaster
Lisa's Rival