Quote it up with Phoenix Nights

[Justin Cyder]

The music playing in the background on singles night...Here I go again on my own, all by myself etc.

[KrazyIvan]

"She's got a cock, so you have been warned"

And from the same episode

"Is he drawing a dog! sick bd"

[Tonsko]

"Get it a kebab."

[deanobeano]

'You could set your watch by my arse'

'..that looks like a...love length'

'Kenny, fetch me my Zantac'

'Stick 'em up your arse'

Its a great program. That is all the better after a re watch

[Blackpuddin]

I for one do not begrudge Peter Kay the £20 mill he makes a year on DVDs.

[deanobeano]

But don't you think he needs some new material?

not wanting to bash him but I do think he peaked with Phoenix Nights - that got to be ten years ago now?

'Now that my friends is a Broom Handled Mauser'
'Shut up. You girl!'

[Tonsko]

I reckon he peaked with PN, yeh.

Also, none of the quotes sound right without a Bolton accent. By that I mean, if said with a BBC accent, they would lose their lustre.

[Tonsko]

Another of my faves is, "Stranraer! What the bloody hell are you doing in Stranraer?"

[anonymous-user]

I said ping pong balls, not King Kong's balls!

[Blackpuddin]

Tonsko said:

Another of my faves is, "Stranraer! What the bloody hell are you doing in Stranraer?"

Ironside

[deanobeano]

Paddy - '...when I washed my old man in the sink.'
Max - 'You took you dad, to a Brothel?'

Or was that Max & Paddy?

[Blackpuddin]

deanobeano said:

Paddy - '...when I washed my old man in the sink.'
Max - 'You took you dad, to a Brothel?'

Or was that Max & Paddy?

We'll allow it

[DoctorX]

miniman said:

Whether bi or straight or bender.

Jim Bowen: soralium.

"Come and get your black bin bags,
They're on offer till December
Heavy duty black bin bags,
No matter what your gender
Come and get your black bin bags,
Whether bi or straight or bender."

[Blackpuddin]

DoctorX said:

miniman said:

Whether bi or straight or bender.

Jim Bowen: soralium.

"Come and get your black bin bags,
They're on offer till December
Heavy duty black bin bags,
No matter what your gender
Come and get your black bin bags,
Whether bi or straight or bender."

Bolton poetry

[essexplumber]

"Corned beef, with chips or with salad eat corned beef, even Buckingham Palace eats corned beef, oh why why don't you try corned beef haaaaaash!"



"Wheres Sheir Kahn?"

"D Day it were, ey D Day!"

[andy_s]

'Have you swept that cock up yet?'

[Gun]

Justin Cyder said:

It's a ten foot cock and balls, man!

I think that's just about my favourite scene from a comedy series ever. All of them standing behind desperately trying not to piss themselves laughing

"It's only got one eye".

[R0nin]

Keith Lard:

“Laugh or burn? Take your pick"

> knocks on door "If I was a fire I wouldn't knock"

Max: Are you going bald?
Paddy: No.
Max: I can see your head through your hair.
Paddy: It's always been like that.
Max: Since when?
Paddy: It's very fine.
Max: I don't know about fine - it's thin.
Paddy: It's not thin.
Max: It's anorexic.

[weyland yutani]

R0nin said:

Keith Lard:

“Laugh or burn? Take your pick"

> knocks on door "If I was a fire I wouldn't knock"

Max: Are you going bald?
Paddy: No.
Max: I can see your head through your hair.
Paddy: It's always been like that.
Max: Since when?
Paddy: It's very fine.
Max: I don't know about fine - it's thin.
Paddy: It's not thin.
Max: It's anorexic.

In the first series of Take Me out McGuinness had a bold spot forming on the top of his head but it was gone in the last series so I reckon he's been using that spray on hair again

Max: You should pace yourself Paddy lad, you only get a bucket and a half
Paddy: Is that all?
Max: It's all I got.

[Justin Cyder]

Keith Lard: This is Veronica

Heckler: Bit of a dog!