Grand Designs - New Series

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RacingBlue

1,396 posts

164 months

Friday 14th November 2014
quotequote all
More details on the grand designs drinking game (apologies for the dodgy formatting)

•The owners have not secured the funding they need to complete the project before they begin
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they run out of money during the build
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they resort to putting the cost of the build on credit cards to keep it going
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the owners take out a second or third mortgage on their existing house or business to keep the build going

•There would have been enough money for the basic build if the owners hadn't frittered money away on custom furniture or artwork taking away money for the basic build of the house
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they were commissioning custom furniture or artwork despite not having secured funding to complete the basic build

•The owner project managing the build even though they have never managed a project before
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they are managing their first project in a different language
?Extra bonus points (or finish the drink) if they don't speak the language they're supposed to be project managing in
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they have quit their job to manage the project
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they're managing the build but only on site once a week
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they're project managing over the internet from a different country

•The owners end up living in a caravan during the build to save money/because they have run out of money
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they are in the caravan over Christmas
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the owners are expecting a baby while living in a caravan
?Extra bonus points (or finish the drink) if they are still living in a caravan when the baby is born
?Win by default (or finish the bottle of drink) if the owners are living in a caravan over Christmas with a new baby

•The owners end up living in a caravan during the build because the new house requires the old house to be knocked down and turned into a building site

•To save money the owners have
?Got their mate to act as architect for free
?Got their mate to do the structural calculations for free
?Got their mate to build the project at a reduced price or for free
?Got their mate to teach them how to do most of the jobs around site so they can do the build themselves
¦Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they aren't doing the build themselves to save money, but because they think they can do a better/faster job themselves
¦Win by default (or finish the bottle of drink) if they actually do
?"Paid" for the labour of a contractor in a non standard way (such as giving them a car in lieu of actual wages)

•The owners are trying to live in their house while it is being converted to being part of the "grand design"

•The owners end up having to live in the half finished building because they have run out of time/money/caravan space
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the half finished building is still missing one or more of the following when they move in
¦Roof (or part of a roof)
¦Internal walls
¦Plumbing
¦Heating

•The owners get pregnant during the build
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the baby is both conceived and born during the build
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the owners claim that the build will be finished by the time the baby is born
?Extra bonus points (or finish the drink) if this deadline is missed
?Win by default (or finish the bottle of drink) if the deadline is missed by more than a year

•The owners have not secured planning permission

•The owners have secured planning permission but only if they do something that is extremely risky and/or costly

•The owners ignore a clause of their planning permission
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if they are told to rip out whatever it was that breached their planning permission

•The owners are depending on an unreliable supplier for a rare material

•Problems with expensive custom made windows
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the windows won't fit
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the windows won't fit because the owner ignored the specs laid out by the architect
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the windows won't fit because the owner measured how big the windows should be with a tape measure
?Extra bonus points (or finish the drink) if the tape measure wasn't long enough to measure the window and the owner measured the space by getting someone to stand where the tape measure ended to start the legnth again and then add up the measurements from these two readings
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the windows won't fit because the owner measured in imperial units and either messed up the conversion to metric or accidentally put the imperial measurements down as metric (or vice versa)
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the windows aren't ready on time
?Extra bonus points (or finish the drink) if the windows aren't ready on time because the process needed to create them is very rare and the supplier is either backed up or unreliable

•The build involves a listed building
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the owners ignore the preservation officer
?Extra bonus points (or finish the drink) if the owners have to undo whatever it was they did when they ignored the preservation officer

•There is partial collapse of a building
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if it is the listed building
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if the collapse happens because clever self supporting structures don't self-support

•The build is in some way eco friendly
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if this involves the build being partially or wholly below ground
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if this means that the owners will be able to sell electricity back to the national grid
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if this means that the building can only be lived in by the present owner and can never be passed on
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if this involves live vegetation
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if this involves making a "feature" out of recycled rubbish
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if this involves composting toilets

•There is incompetent use of heavy machinery
•Access to the site is difficult for some reason (such as steep gradients or narrow pathways
?Bonus points (or an extra drink) if this means that deliveries involve insane feats of lorry driving
?Extra bonus points (or finish the drink) if this leads to windows being carried to the site on skateboards

•The house is a pre-fab or kit house
•Win by default (or finish the bottle of drink) if Kevin McCloud predicts that the project is doomed to failure because of lack of an architect but has to eat his words at the end of the build when he is proven wrong

•Win by default (or finish the bottle of drink) if the owner punches Kevin McCloud because of his constant predictions of gloom during the build


http://carina.org.uk/granddesigns.shtml

Edited by RacingBlue on Friday 14th November 11:55


Edited by RacingBlue on Friday 14th November 11:56

Halmyre

11,199 posts

139 months

Friday 14th November 2014
quotequote all
LordHaveMurci said:
Brilliant. Well done Kev.

But just as well GD isn't on the BBC, can you imagine the outcry?