Discussion
Just seen this on BluRay - what a pile of tosh.
It fails on every level - as a nod to it's inspiration it under uses Dreyfuss and the Aligator referance is too small. The cast are wasted....Ving Rhames killing himslef for no obvious reason (or gain). Shue does her best but cant do enough.
The plot - what there is, is plotless and has nothing like as cool a backstory as the original - right, so 2 million years in an underground cave and the developed keen eyesight and grew to be 6ft long by eating themselves??????
The gore is (more so the close up stuff) like something from 1980.....in fact, i saw Nightmare on Elm St the otherday and it's on a "scary" par with that - crap on CGI is still crap!
It's not scary, not in anyway.....and you dont care about anyone so when people die, so what.
And the tits......surley tits in horror are to add a little spice to the mix - not so here. Kelly (what the hell was her US agent thinking) Brook is, literally, hired breasts - she is even introduced as such! Her "ballet" scene was ridiculus.....what was it supposed to be? erotic? why....it's a horror, are you supposed to bang one out before the fake fish pop up again? I just prayed it would end with a violebt death to show us that it was tounge in cheek...but no, it was literally a soft porn scene for no obvious point (a bit like the entire...soft porn on a boat plot line)
Grim....had big hopes for a brain out romp but this was brain out and replace with one from a complete retard.
Do directirs of stuff like this not watch Jaws (or even Pirahan/Aligator) and see what they are supposed to be doing? All this had in common with Jaws was a singing Matt Hopper, a nasty dolly zoom and water.
It fails on every level - as a nod to it's inspiration it under uses Dreyfuss and the Aligator referance is too small. The cast are wasted....Ving Rhames killing himslef for no obvious reason (or gain). Shue does her best but cant do enough.
The plot - what there is, is plotless and has nothing like as cool a backstory as the original - right, so 2 million years in an underground cave and the developed keen eyesight and grew to be 6ft long by eating themselves??????
The gore is (more so the close up stuff) like something from 1980.....in fact, i saw Nightmare on Elm St the otherday and it's on a "scary" par with that - crap on CGI is still crap!
It's not scary, not in anyway.....and you dont care about anyone so when people die, so what.
And the tits......surley tits in horror are to add a little spice to the mix - not so here. Kelly (what the hell was her US agent thinking) Brook is, literally, hired breasts - she is even introduced as such! Her "ballet" scene was ridiculus.....what was it supposed to be? erotic? why....it's a horror, are you supposed to bang one out before the fake fish pop up again? I just prayed it would end with a violebt death to show us that it was tounge in cheek...but no, it was literally a soft porn scene for no obvious point (a bit like the entire...soft porn on a boat plot line)
Grim....had big hopes for a brain out romp but this was brain out and replace with one from a complete retard.
Do directirs of stuff like this not watch Jaws (or even Pirahan/Aligator) and see what they are supposed to be doing? All this had in common with Jaws was a singing Matt Hopper, a nasty dolly zoom and water.
Tiggsy said:
Just seen this on BluRay - what a pile of tosh.
It fails on every level - as a nod to it's inspiration it under uses Dreyfuss and the Aligator referance is too small. The cast are wasted....Ving Rhames killing himslef for no obvious reason (or gain). Shue does her best but cant do enough.
The plot - what there is, is plotless and has nothing like as cool a backstory as the original - right, so 2 million years in an underground cave and the developed keen eyesight and grew to be 6ft long by eating themselves??????
The gore is (more so the close up stuff) like something from 1980.....in fact, i saw Nightmare on Elm St the otherday and it's on a "scary" par with that - crap on CGI is still crap!
It's not scary, not in anyway.....and you dont care about anyone so when people die, so what.
And the tits......surley tits in horror are to add a little spice to the mix - not so here. Kelly (what the hell was her US agent thinking) Brook is, literally, hired breasts - she is even introduced as such! Her "ballet" scene was ridiculus.....what was it supposed to be? erotic? why....it's a horror, are you supposed to bang one out before the fake fish pop up again? I just prayed it would end with a violebt death to show us that it was tounge in cheek...but no, it was literally a soft porn scene for no obvious point (a bit like the entire...soft porn on a boat plot line)
Grim....had big hopes for a brain out romp but this was brain out and replace with one from a complete retard.
Do directirs of stuff like this not watch Jaws (or even Pirahan/Aligator) and see what they are supposed to be doing? All this had in common with Jaws was a singing Matt Hopper, a nasty dolly zoom and water.
but thats all the reasons why it was so awesome!It fails on every level - as a nod to it's inspiration it under uses Dreyfuss and the Aligator referance is too small. The cast are wasted....Ving Rhames killing himslef for no obvious reason (or gain). Shue does her best but cant do enough.
The plot - what there is, is plotless and has nothing like as cool a backstory as the original - right, so 2 million years in an underground cave and the developed keen eyesight and grew to be 6ft long by eating themselves??????
The gore is (more so the close up stuff) like something from 1980.....in fact, i saw Nightmare on Elm St the otherday and it's on a "scary" par with that - crap on CGI is still crap!
It's not scary, not in anyway.....and you dont care about anyone so when people die, so what.
And the tits......surley tits in horror are to add a little spice to the mix - not so here. Kelly (what the hell was her US agent thinking) Brook is, literally, hired breasts - she is even introduced as such! Her "ballet" scene was ridiculus.....what was it supposed to be? erotic? why....it's a horror, are you supposed to bang one out before the fake fish pop up again? I just prayed it would end with a violebt death to show us that it was tounge in cheek...but no, it was literally a soft porn scene for no obvious point (a bit like the entire...soft porn on a boat plot line)
Grim....had big hopes for a brain out romp but this was brain out and replace with one from a complete retard.
Do directirs of stuff like this not watch Jaws (or even Pirahan/Aligator) and see what they are supposed to be doing? All this had in common with Jaws was a singing Matt Hopper, a nasty dolly zoom and water.
Just ordered the errrrr, 2D version of this....
SWMBO wouldn't come to the cinema with me to see this, can't think why. I tried convincing her it had been nominated for two oscars and the plot involved a complex, rich yet tragic love story, but as soon as she saw Kelly Brook's name she refused
SWMBO wouldn't come to the cinema with me to see this, can't think why. I tried convincing her it had been nominated for two oscars and the plot involved a complex, rich yet tragic love story, but as soon as she saw Kelly Brook's name she refused
JFReturns said:
Just ordered the errrrr, 2D version of this....
SWMBO wouldn't come to the cinema with me to see this, can't think why. I tried convincing her it had been nominated for two oscars and the plot involved a complex, rich yet tragic love story, but as soon as she saw Kelly Brook's name she refused
Watching this with your other half is like sitting down with them to flick through a lame softcore porn channel (think C4 11pm in 1992), a stupid straight to video moster flick with CGI from a 6th form project and any random "fishing up the amazon" Discovery Channel show.SWMBO wouldn't come to the cinema with me to see this, can't think why. I tried convincing her it had been nominated for two oscars and the plot involved a complex, rich yet tragic love story, but as soon as she saw Kelly Brook's name she refused
Tiggsy said:
JFReturns said:
Just ordered the errrrr, 2D version of this....
SWMBO wouldn't come to the cinema with me to see this, can't think why. I tried convincing her it had been nominated for two oscars and the plot involved a complex, rich yet tragic love story, but as soon as she saw Kelly Brook's name she refused
Watching this with your other half is like sitting down with them to flick through a lame softcore porn channel (think C4 11pm in 1992), a stupid straight to video moster flick with CGI from a 6th form project and any random "fishing up the amazon" Discovery Channel show.SWMBO wouldn't come to the cinema with me to see this, can't think why. I tried convincing her it had been nominated for two oscars and the plot involved a complex, rich yet tragic love story, but as soon as she saw Kelly Brook's name she refused
you not seen this yet Callyman? 
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