Bad Films I watched this weekend

[Pommygranite]

KrazyIvan said:

50 shades of ste

I will be stunned if they make the rest.

I think we all know there is no correlation between quality of a film and whether a sequel will be made.

[anonymous-user]

groundcontrol said:

Stunned you actually managed to derive a plot from that. I couldn't tell what it was about, nothing as far as I could tell.

Oh I had to paraphrase the text on imdb or some other site. If I had not done that I would have needed to find a way to express white noise in written format.

Maybe I should have just typed what you did

[Asterix]

hebangsthedrums said:

The Sweeney (2012) - so bad it was funny. I'm pretty sure they get a generic cockernee caper script, then just add extra 'slaags' and 'princesses' whenever Ray Winstone is cast. Also Plan B - stick to music. Or maybe don't even do that...

Not fair on Plan B - the script was abysmal. He was extremely good in Harry Brown.

[Adam B]

Enders game - childish plot, laughable ending, hang your head in shame Harrison Ford

2/10 and only because I am on holiday and half pissed

[Silver Smudger]

Adam B said:

Enders game - childish plot, laughable ending, hang your head in shame Harrison Ford

2/10 and only because I am on holiday and half pissed

A really good book, that I totally cannot imagine translated onto film.

[jimmyjimjim]

It was like the old joke of someone trying to translate from Greek to English, but only possessing a Greek to Latin dictionary and a Latin to English dictionary.

Except that in this case, it was from Urdu to English, but they still had the same dictionaries.

[papercup]

Its a children's film - why are you watching it?

[Adam B]

papercup said:

Its a children's film - why are you watching it?

A) didn't know it was
B) only 1 film channel available to me in my holiday villa in Thailand

[irocfan]

papercup said:

Its a children's film - why are you watching it?

open to debate TBH - a 12a does allow children, however it doesn't necessarily make it a children's film (the source material on the other hand is most certainly not kiddies stuff)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ender%27s_Game

[ehonda]

Top Dog

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2626460/

Football hooligan nonsense. Knew it was going to be bad when 2 characters walk in to a working mans club belonging to a rival and ask for '2 pints please'. Directed by Martin Kemp. He's a better actor. There's a completely unnecessary black and white montage of stuff that we've already seen too. Complete pish.

[Brigand]

groundcontrol said:

garyhun said:

The Tree of Life.

Brad Pitt, Sean Penna and Jessica Chastain (old Murph in Interstellar).

The story of a family in Texas, and especially the eldest son witnessing the loss of innocence and struggles with his parents' conflicting teachings.

It's pointlessness is only matched by its pretentiousness imo. 2/10

Stunned you actually managed to derive a plot from that. I couldn't tell what it was about, nothing as far as I could tell.

I love this film, but find it very hard to describe to someone what its actually about. I think the above description is about as close as I can get, although I usually just refer to it being a very "arty" movie, that is less a film and more some celluloid artwork. Watching it with some headphones on and the lights off it can be a peaceful experience, visually sumptuous but I have to be in the right mood for it - its not something I look to for a storyline.

[RyanTank]

22 Jump Street.

I didn't really remember the first, but got the feeling (via many references in the film to it being "EXACTLY LIKE THE FIRST ONE"), I can only imagine that I found that pretty ste too.

Sure there were one or two chuckle moments, but overall it was crapo.

[Johnnytheboy]

toasty said:

chris watton said:

Hooli said:

The Deer Hunter, it was on TV sunday. Never seen it before & no idea at all why anyone likes it or raves about it as some do. Unmitigated ste. Drunk annoying yanks for 2 1/2 hours with a bit of badly done war film inbetween. No characters or anything, just utter dross.

This was one of the first videos I ever rented way back in 1983! I too found it boring (I was only 16, though) and have never watched it again since.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's such a dull film with one exceptional scene.

I can't stand it either. The characters are utterly unlikeable and the war scenes are comically bad.

Anyway... I watched that Tarantino thing: Death Proof last night.

Wow that's bad. Why can't his characters just shut up for a minute?

[Asterix]

Johnnytheboy said:

Why can't his characters just shut up for a minute?

Because Tarantino believes his own hype and thinks he's fking Shakespeare - he's not, he's a gobste.

[renmure]

Exodus: God and Kings.

Can't really say it was terrible, but it really wasn't very good and certainly wasn't a patch on The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston and Yule Brynner from way back in 1956.

[p1stonhead]

Asterix said:

Johnnytheboy said:

Why can't his characters just shut up for a minute?

Because Tarantino believes his own hype and thinks he's fking Shakespeare - he's not, he's a gobste.

He has done some of the best long dialogue scenes ever.

[Asterix]

p1stonhead said:

Asterix said:

Johnnytheboy said:

Why can't his characters just shut up for a minute?

Because Tarantino believes his own hype and thinks he's fking Shakespeare - he's not, he's a gobste.

He has done some of the best long dialogue scenes ever.

He's done a few, no doubt - however, he doesn't know when to stop. Now it just smacks of trying to be too clever for his own good.

[Bullett]

Divergent - This kept popping up on my Amazon prime feed so I thought I would give it a go.
Big mistake.
It was awful.
Despite being 2+ hours it felt both rushed in the plot whilst the actual scenes dragged. The first hour plus was all training with no plot development (a lot like Enders game). The actual plot made little sense, there was no logic or reason behind why there were 5 factions or why the blues wanted to take over or why anyone submitted to the system. Why they used the sorting hat but could then pick any faction.
3/10

[Silver Smudger]

Bullett said:

Divergent - This kept popping up on my Amazon prime feed so I thought I would give it a go.
Big mistake.
It was awful.
Despite being 2+ hours it felt both rushed in the plot whilst the actual scenes dragged. The first hour plus was all training with no plot development (a lot like Ender's game). The actual plot made little sense, there was no logic or reason behind why there were 5 factions or why the blues wanted to take over or why anyone submitted to the system. Why they used the sorting hat but could then pick any faction.
3/10

While not fantastic, It was better than at least the first Hunger Games film, I thought - No idea why Hunger Games movie did so well in comparison

(Yes, I have 3 daughters - No, I could not be bothered to leave the room when they were watching!)

[curlyks2]

Shadow Boxer

Just no. Even with full leave-brain-at-door-reality-suspended approach, it's just crap, especially the "chemistry" between Cuba Gooding Jr and Helen Mirren.