Teach 10 year olds about pornography
Discussion
Tumbler said:
I firmly believe the answers lie in our parenting, not in our education.
Unfortunately the ones popping babies and tying up the sexual health clinics didn't get the parental requirement memo so the state has to step in to take up the slack. You're right social issues like this should be a family thing; when it's not by just pretending it isn't there causes the outcomes we have now and more importantly it costs the tax payer money by not taking preventative action! Edited* made no f'in sense
Edited by muffinmenace on Wednesday 24th October 21:56
Lost_BMW said:
The radio report was specifically about teaching children about pornography (OK, go on I confess to a tiny bit of trolling, not giving them porn!) at 10.
There's a difference between teaching kids about pornography and giving them pornography. Getting them to appreciate what pornography is the reality that it's not real and is just there for people to service themselves. Ensuring that the sexual acts in them are not always going to go down well with their girl/boyfriend and you need to know what it's all really about.
Somehow the cynic in me thinks a journalist has picked some quotes from the proposal, taking them out of context and then run a story with it. Doing such things with the hope of selling some papers or pulling in listeners is not the sort of country we live in.
Edited by muffinmenace on Wednesday 24th October 21:57
muffinmenace said:
Unfortunately the ones popping babies and tying up the sexual health clinics didn't get the parental requirement memo so the state has to step in to take up the slack. You're right social issues like this should be a family thing; when it's not just pretend it isn't there as the outcomes are what we have now and it costs the tax payer money!
And no amount of information via schools or clinics is going to make any difference to those children which are unfortunate enough to not be parented, I would add that I don't believe the failure to parent is isolated to those from a lower social demographic, I know of plenty well educated high earning parents who seem unable/unwilling to devote time to being a parent.Terminator X said:
10 years old is too young imho. Small %age of kids popping out babies so why the need to tar em all with the same brush? What's needed is profiling to target the at risk kids, will never happen though of course in this new PC world ...
TX.
How many 10 year olds have unrestricted access to the Internet, either via their own phone or unsupervised access at home via a computer?TX.
What we need is for our children to understand the difference between, pornography, violent pornography, pedophilia and a loving consential relationship between adults, life is about choices, in order to make good choices you need good information and informed debate.
Tumbler said:
Lost_BMW said:
Mr Snap said:
nickbee said:
chippy17 said:
well if you want your children to have detailed info about sex aged 10 then fine but I certainly don't, in this case knowledge is corruption and the loss of childhood
You hope that your child remains unaware of sex until after they're 10?? I saw my first sex education video at primary school so I'd have been 10 at most and I was born in 1979 so that's nothing new. Back then kids needed information on sex before they hit puberty and found themselves at the mercy of natural instinct. That event might have happened at 11, it might have happened at 15, so 10 was the right age.However, these days children have access to the internet. Pornography accounts for 90% of the internet. At some point (long before they're 10) they WILL see it so you have two choices. You can do the responsible thing and address the issue earlier so that when they are inevitably exposed to it they know what it is and why it's inappropriate but also what's normal and what isn't. Or you can bury your head in the sand and accept that your child's understanding of 'normal' will be dictated not by you but by whatever video their friend's older brother has on his mobile. This might not be the choice you'd like but it's the only choice you have and no amount of bleating about innocence and childhood will change it.
Chippy, you really need to talk to your children's school about their sex education policy. It isn't about premature sexualisation, it's about giving them appropriate information at the time they need it.
I just think we are pushing sexual knowledge on children at too young an age, you say you were taught about sex at 10 i say you were taught about where babies come from and how the body changes...
chippy17 said:
I am not saying that children are not aware of 'sex' at 10 or even before what i am saying is their minds view of it is very different, therefore i do not want them to be subjected/exposed to too much information about sex at this early age. My eldest is a girl and is 9 and yes I know sure she is aware of certain aspects about 'how babies are made' but that does not mean I want her to be aware of sex, these 2 things are different.
I just think we are pushing sexual knowledge on children at too young an age, you say you were taught about sex at 10 i say you were taught about where babies come from and how the body changes...
It is not uncommon for girls to start exploring their bodies as they being to develop, this my include masturbation, her hormones will be a very powerful motivator, she may go looking for pornography, she may just stumble across it, girls around the age of 11 swap sexual images via their mobiles, they need to understand the consequences of this, they also need to understand how they feel about things and have a safe place to explore their emotions, for me this should happen under the guidance of a parent, but it seems too many parents seem unwilling, or unable to provide this. I just think we are pushing sexual knowledge on children at too young an age, you say you were taught about sex at 10 i say you were taught about where babies come from and how the body changes...
There is an ongoing sexualization of our children, a quick trip to buy appropriate clothing will show you this, ask your daughters mother if she remembers Jackie Magazine, it was bombard with letters from young girls struggling to deal with how they felt about sex. Children are now reaching puberty at a far younger age, my mother is 75 her first period was around the age of 17, my sister is 50 hers was at 15, I am 41, mine was at 13, my daughters were 11 and still at primary school, at that point, the pupils toilets didn't even have sanitary bins! We can't ignore the fact that our childrens bodies are preparing them for child birth younger and younger, the consequence of this is that we as adults and parents need to prepare their minds to deal with the turmoil of emotions that hormones bring.
Sex and emotions form the single biggest part of our lives, as a mother of two daughters, I want them to have safe, nurturing and fulfilling relationships, this will not happen by magic, it takes an element of knowledge and understanding, it requires having a safe sounding board, somewhere you can ask the most stupidest (to them) questions and not be ridiculed or given the wrong answer. A child can type something like "sex and periods" in to Google, they will then be faced with a wide range of answers, the first page alone will contain several terms they maybe unfamiliar with or even confused by, leading to more 'Googling' and more confusion, all of which could have been avoided by parents excepting that their children are curious, they want to know and they want to understand what is happening to them, why sex is for adults, why at the age of 11 they feel 'horny' what are they supposed to do with this feeling, why, why, why it's like them being three all over again.
I think it's very important that children are informed that Porn is fantasy, and I think they DO need to be told this, in fact I think many adults need to be told this. It's not immediatly obvious that porn is a fiction and becoming less so.
Plus people (not just children) need to understand that the objectification of human desire is manipulated for material gain by those marketeers involved in commmercial industry. We don't hide that to adults around food and cars etc... But on the fringes of culture in the shadows of taboo things exist that can be very confusing to young or immature minds, porn is just one of them.
Plus people (not just children) need to understand that the objectification of human desire is manipulated for material gain by those marketeers involved in commmercial industry. We don't hide that to adults around food and cars etc... But on the fringes of culture in the shadows of taboo things exist that can be very confusing to young or immature minds, porn is just one of them.
IainT said:
Some seem to be conflating 'teaching about pornography' and 'showing pornography'.
Well, we're always told learning in schools should be as concrete and practical as possible... supported by real life examples and illustrations.I see a burgeoning market opening up here, think I may set up a company "Practical Porn for Primaries" maybe a dot com...
chippy17 said:
without wishing to sound too prudish and old fashioned but IMO this sort of thing and attitude has a lot to answer for, the people advocating 10yr olds being that sexually aware are borderline child abusers and frankly these lefty a
holes are borderline peodo's
it is saying to nutters that it is almost acceptable
As I understand it, it's more about explaining that porn is (often) fantasy, and not a how-to. Stopping a teenage boy from finding porn was impossible back in the days of porn-faries leaving mags in fields, but the content and quantity available was nothing at all compared to what a kid can find within minutes.holes are borderline peodo'sit is saying to nutters that it is almost acceptable
So you have the issue of your teenage daughter having her first sexual experience(s) with a guy who's been watching all sorts of rougher porn. Now I'm not anti porn at all, but I can see how that could be quite unpleasant for both parties.
chippy17 said:
My eldest is a girl and is 9 and yes I know sure she is aware of certain aspects about 'how babies are made' but that does not mean I want her to be aware of sex, these 2 things are different.
What you do or don't want is irrelevant; before long she is going to see pornography and then she'll be pretty damn aware of sex. I have a daughter too and I don't like it any more than you but going into denial about it will not help our chidren one bit. If you make her aware of pornography, you can teach her that it's just make believe for grown-ups, that it's not real and that there's no need to think about it until she's older. If you don't educate her, then she'll be shown a video of some young girl getting gangbanged and assume that's normal behaviour.Tumbler said:
chippy17 said:
I am not saying that children are not aware of 'sex' at 10 or even before what i am saying is their minds view of it is very different, therefore i do not want them to be subjected/exposed to too much information about sex at this early age. My eldest is a girl and is 9 and yes I know sure she is aware of certain aspects about 'how babies are made' but that does not mean I want her to be aware of sex, these 2 things are different.
I just think we are pushing sexual knowledge on children at too young an age, you say you were taught about sex at 10 i say you were taught about where babies come from and how the body changes...
It is not uncommon for girls to start exploring their bodies as they being to develop, this my include masturbation, her hormones will be a very powerful motivator, she may go looking for pornography, she may just stumble across it, girls around the age of 11 swap sexual images via their mobiles, they need to understand the consequences of this, they also need to understand how they feel about things and have a safe place to explore their emotions, for me this should happen under the guidance of a parent, but it seems too many parents seem unwilling, or unable to provide this. I just think we are pushing sexual knowledge on children at too young an age, you say you were taught about sex at 10 i say you were taught about where babies come from and how the body changes...
There is an ongoing sexualization of our children, a quick trip to buy appropriate clothing will show you this, ask your daughters mother if she remembers Jackie Magazine, it was bombard with letters from young girls struggling to deal with how they felt about sex. Children are now reaching puberty at a far younger age, my mother is 75 her first period was around the age of 17, my sister is 50 hers was at 15, I am 41, mine was at 13, my daughters were 11 and still at primary school, at that point, the pupils toilets didn't even have sanitary bins! We can't ignore the fact that our childrens bodies are preparing them for child birth younger and younger, the consequence of this is that we as adults and parents need to prepare their minds to deal with the turmoil of emotions that hormones bring.
Sex and emotions form the single biggest part of our lives, as a mother of two daughters, I want them to have safe, nurturing and fulfilling relationships, this will not happen by magic, it takes an element of knowledge and understanding, it requires having a safe sounding board, somewhere you can ask the most stupidest (to them) questions and not be ridiculed or given the wrong answer. A child can type something like "sex and periods" in to Google, they will then be faced with a wide range of answers, the first page alone will contain several terms they maybe unfamiliar with or even confused by, leading to more 'Googling' and more confusion, all of which could have been avoided by parents excepting that their children are curious, they want to know and they want to understand what is happening to them, why sex is for adults, why at the age of 11 they feel 'horny' what are they supposed to do with this feeling, why, why, why it's like them being three all over again.
I cannot comment one way or the other regarding ages of first periods getting sooner as i have not looked into that subject but I think it varies greatly...
chippy17 said:
I am not sure what is more aorrying the fact that an 11 year old has a mobile or the fact that they swap sexual images via them, this is a sign of very worrying times for the human race
Frankly I'm amazed that you haven't noticed how many children have a mobile phone, many from a fairly young age, does your daughter not have any friends who have one, what about social networking and email?They are all part and parcel of todays lifestyle, failure to equip our children with the appropriate skills to use these safely is what should be a concern.
Apologies for linking to The Sun, but how would you describe this picture in terms of pornography? I've deliberately picked this picture as they currently front a popular show that is aimed at a fairly young audience and is scheduled in a prime time TV slot.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/46087...
chippy17 said:
I am not sure what is more aorrying the fact that an 11 year old has a mobile or the fact that they swap sexual images via them, this is a sign of very worrying times for the human race
It's a conversation that must have been going on for centuries.Mind you, that the current generation even exists is a miracle. By rights breeding in Britain should have died out with the generation of children who learned about it from finding the grown-ups' copy of The Joy Of Sex. To find out that people with beards got laid was shocking. Very shocking.
Tumbler said:
chippy17 said:
I am not sure what is more aorrying the fact that an 11 year old has a mobile or the fact that they swap sexual images via them, this is a sign of very worrying times for the human race
Frankly I'm amazed that you haven't noticed how many children have a mobile phone, many from a fairly young age, does your daughter not have any friends who have one, what about social networking and email?They are all part and parcel of todays lifestyle, failure to equip our children with the appropriate skills to use these safely is what should be a concern.
Apologies for linking to The Sun, but how would you describe this picture in terms of pornography? I've deliberately picked this picture as they currently front a popular show that is aimed at a fairly young audience and is scheduled in a prime time TV slot.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/46087...
btw we live in a very rural area
imo a 9 year is not going to see this image and think the same way that a grown up does, a 9 year old is not going to immediately think of sex and porn because it is just not in her brain at this moment in time, I personally think these kinds of costumes on the show you refer to before 9 is wrong, I am no prude btw I am as red blooded a male as the next man!!
gtdc said:
chippy17 said:
I am not sure what is more aorrying the fact that an 11 year old has a mobile or the fact that they swap sexual images via them, this is a sign of very worrying times for the human race
It's a conversation that must have been going on for centuries.Mind you, that the current generation even exists is a miracle. By rights breeding in Britain should have died out with the generation of children who learned about it from finding the grown-ups' copy of The Joy Of Sex. To find out that people with beards got laid was shocking. Very shocking.
but I do think the sexualisation if children is getting younger and i think that is wrong there is no need to talk to a 9 year old about porn
the Joy Of Sex, excellent forgotten about that I am sure my parents had a video of that that I nicked as a teenager, my first 'porn film' ah the memories!!
Edited by chippy17 on Thursday 25th October 17:17
I had a conversation with my dad about this a few years back when my little brother was 13(or so).
My mother rumbled his porn browsing as he hadn't deleted his history (amateur!). Anyway, she doesn't like that sort of thing (objectification of women etc). Anyway my dad asked me if there was anything I (the family's resident nerd) could do about it (block it)?
I said "yes. But frankly it won't work. You're asking me to pit my (not inconsiderable) nerd knowledge against a 14 year old boys desire to look at boobies (and more) on the internet. I will lose that one."
The outcome was my dad had a few words with him about what was and was not "normal/ok" and I took the piss out of him for getting caught (I never did...
honest...) and then showed him Incognito mode in Chrome.
Job Jobbed.
I think the issue isn't that porn distorts the view of what's normal. It's more that because we're too bloody up tight as a society that no-one talks about it normally so how are they meant to know what's NOT normal?!
The only "press" that sex gets is the weird fked up stuff that footballists and 'celebrities' get up to...
Get it out in the open and then it's not something fked up that has to be learnt about in dark rooms at night hoping your parents don't come in....
Anyway...
My mother rumbled his porn browsing as he hadn't deleted his history (amateur!). Anyway, she doesn't like that sort of thing (objectification of women etc). Anyway my dad asked me if there was anything I (the family's resident nerd) could do about it (block it)?
I said "yes. But frankly it won't work. You're asking me to pit my (not inconsiderable) nerd knowledge against a 14 year old boys desire to look at boobies (and more) on the internet. I will lose that one."
The outcome was my dad had a few words with him about what was and was not "normal/ok" and I took the piss out of him for getting caught (I never did...
honest...) and then showed him Incognito mode in Chrome.Job Jobbed.
I think the issue isn't that porn distorts the view of what's normal. It's more that because we're too bloody up tight as a society that no-one talks about it normally so how are they meant to know what's NOT normal?!
The only "press" that sex gets is the weird f
ked up stuff that footballists and 'celebrities' get up to...Get it out in the open and then it's not something f
ked up that has to be learnt about in dark rooms at night hoping your parents don't come in....Anyway...
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