Public sector watch

[V8mate]

About time we had a central repository for the stories from our public sector which you just couldn't make up.


I'll start with today's Essex County Council ban on triangular flapjacks

[Digga]

I remember there was some shortbread-shaped-object they used to serve at school dinners that was colloquially known as "concrete 'n' custard". I bet that stuff would've hurt if it were thrown or catapaulted with the right technique. Where do they end with this nonsense?

Edited by Digga on Monday 25th March 11:04

[greygoose]

Surely circles would be better to avoid those painful corners?

[V8mate]

greygoose said:

Surely circles would be better to avoid those painful corners?

You would have thought so. They've actually increased the number of corners!

And I could eat the off-cuts

[Mr_B]

So they still get a knife in the canteen, just not the dangerously shaped flapjacks. A most productive days work there by someone.

[V8mate]

Mr_B said:

So they still get a knife in the canteen, just not the dangerously shaped flapjacks. A most productive days work there by someone.

It'll be samosas next. And then toast by the end of the week.

[Mr_B]

For some reason, I thought of it from the public school boy perspective and the dangerous crumpets.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3jIE3b-bhY

[crankedup]

V8mate said:

About time we had a central repository for the stories from our public sector which you just couldn't make up.


I'll start with today's Essex County Council ban on triangular flapjacks

Sod the flapjacks! its Lord Hanningfield which is of interest in Essex. He took a number of County Council staff on a conference jolly, obviously in the days when he was leader of the Council. Three days conference landed the tax payers with a bill of 15k. The current administration is chasing for return of some of this money apparently.

[kowalski655]

Thrown stuff has always been dangerous



Ban ALL food,let the little sods starve

[andy43]

Of course the sensible approach would be to stop the kids throwing food.
But I suppose that stifles their creativity

[Digga]

kowalski655 said:

Thrown stuff has always been dangerous



Ban ALL food,let the little sods starve

I too was reminded of that.

Anyway... Good Afternoon Dragons, I'm looking for 250k for a 1% stake in my new business which will be setting up vending machines in schools to sett flapjack throwing-stars.

[MrBrightSi]

They need to thin out the school population more, i wish they'd put one of those cow catchers on my car on the way home, dislike my finish time being near school chucking out time.

[turbobloke]

Appointing the former Border Agency bint to run HMRC is less funny but still hilarious and it made the news today because some MPs spoke sense in a rare moment of lucidity for such types.

[Puggit]

Council experts can help plan your commute

GetReading said:

Individuals will be able to have their own personalised travel plans created for them under a new project from Reading Borough Council.

A team of travel advisors will be visiting businesses and community groups and dropping in on householders in Whitley, Whitley Wood, Lower Caversham and Caversham Park Village.

That's right folks, there's enough in the pot in Labour controlled Reading Borough Council to waste on helping people work out their easiest commute.

[essayer]

The comments on the Independent have reaffirmed my faith in humanity slightly http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/sch...

[turbobloke]

essayer said:

The comments on the Independent have reaffirmed my faith in humanity slightly http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/sch...

Worth a snip for a smile...one nest of comments starts off as follows.


AlterJoe • 2 days ago

The danger of incorrectly cut flapjacks has been ignored for far too long. They *must* be cut into circles and individually wrapped in cotton wool. Otherwise, it's only a matter of time before a precious child is seriously injured.
298


jobsmith AlterJoe • 2 days ago

Children might choke on cotton wool. Apart from this caveat I believe your proposal is sound. At last we hear , the voice of common sense and I salute you.
131


CrystalForce jobsmith • 2 days ago

Circular flapjacks - Sounds like a load of Hobnobbery to me
131


WhistlingNeil CrystalForce • 2 days ago

Dust hazard , hobnobs. Need to use a breathing mask when eating them.
64


jobsmith WhistlingNeil • 2 days ago

Breathing masks can create a false sense of security and encourage risk taking. They should be banned. Also, if a child slips on a banana skin in the school canteen and falls on his face, the mask might cut into the cheek bones, causing permanent scarring and mental trauma.


pdso jobsmith • 2 days ago

The answer here is perfectly simple. Ban bananas.
39

[speedy_thrills]

Good, a step towards banning flapjacks from schools. Also it's a well established fact of food science that triangular things taste better than their square counterparts which raises flapjack to the same status as cardboard.

[Art0ir]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-221...

[V8mate]

Art0ir said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-221...

[RedWhiteMonkey]

I think the double yellow lines thing is a publicity stunt to get Swindon in the news.