Who and what is an Alpha Male

[Blue Cat]

I have been involved most of the afternoon in the News Forum on a thread about feminist and someone made a comment than a woman could be looking for a "richer alpha male mate to dominate her"

and it got me thinking

What exactly is an Alpha Male
Who is an example of an Alpha Male - is it the same for a man or a woman
Are you an Alpha Male - how do you know
Do you work with one or someone who thinks they are one

I am really interested in views on this, as I have met people who think they are but not one who I think is

[Tampon]

Can if worms

I see myself as a alpha male. I am big and loud and I like to be in charge most of the time. I tend to hold court in social groups and feel the need to perform.

I feel challenged some times by other strong males and tend to get into banter "fights" until the group is laughing at them and with me

I am insecure sometimes

I know women who are the same.

[mikees]

Tampon said:

Can if worms

I see myself as a alpha male. I am big and loud and I like to be in charge most of the time. I tend to hold court in social groups and feel the need to perform.

I feel challenged some times by other strong males and tend to get into banter "fights" until the group is laughing at them and with me

I am insecure sometimes

I know women who are the same.

Those are character traits that I would not necessarily use the phrase "alpha male" to describe................

[Tampon]

mikees said:

Those are character traits that I would not necessarily use the phrase "alpha male" to describe................

Fair enough, it was a honest answer really. I find groups of men tend to "listen" and I am no looker but have had luck with women because of it. It isn;t ment to be a willy waving thing.

I can dominate people, sometimes I realise I am doing sometimes I don't. I don't always like it when I realise I am doing it. That why I put the bit about being insecure sometimes

I tend to be called "alpha", after a while I tend to settle down once I have "established" it. I am aware though when another "aplha" comes along I am aware of it.

I don't see being Alpha as a good thing or a bad thing, just as a role in a social heirarchy. I admire and would like to be like others who don't act like me. I have inhereted it from my mother so it is a hard thing to stop.

Getting married and growing older has calmed it down now, inc the insecurity but I am still aware of it from time to time.

Edited by Tampon on Wednesday 5th February 21:04

[VinceFox]

Tampon said:

mikees said:

Those are character traits that I would not necessarily use the phrase "alpha male" to describe................

Fair enough, it was a honest answer really.

I can dominate people, sometimes I realise I am doing sometimes I don't. I don;t always like it when I realise I am doing it.

I tend to be called alpha, after a while I tend to settle down once I have "established" it. I am aware though when another "aplha" comes along I am aware of it.

I don;t see being Alpha as a good thing or a bad thing, just as a role in a social heirarchy. I admire and would like to be like others who don't act like me. I have inhereted it from my mother so it is a hard thing to stop.

Alpha posturing is a sign of insecurity.

[Countdown]

Tampon said:

Can if worms

I see myself as a alpha male. I am big and loud and I like to be in charge most of the time. I tend to hold court in social groups and feel the need to perform.

I feel challenged some times by other strong males and tend to get into banter "fights" until the group is laughing at them and with me

I am insecure sometimes

I know women who are the same.

I'm not sure if seeing oneself as an "Alpha Male" necessarily means it's an accurate description. I doubt that any of the characteristics you say you have are the same as what other people think of you. Very few people (in my opinion) are that self-aware.

[Countdown]

VinceFox said:

Alpha posturing is a sign of insecurity.

Very definitely this. And it is usually very apparent to the rest of the group.

[citizensm1th]

got to agree your not an alpha male

your need to enter into " banter fights" shows this

id say your a little insecure and use your size and presence to give the appearance of control when deep down as you say your insecure.

A real " Alpha Male" would not feel the need to enter into a Banter fight to prove his Alphaness

I have only ever met one or two who I would consider to be alpha males and they were both senior nco,s with years of experience. but even these people when removed from there comfort zone had the same doubts and insecurities of anyone else.

[Tampon]

Countdown said:

I'm not sure if seeing oneself as an "Alpha Male" necessarily means it's an accurate description. I doubt that any of the characteristics you say you have are the same as what other people think of you. Very few people (in my opinion) are that self-aware.

I am

I know I am a dick sometimes and people cannot stand me. But I am also aware of when I am in control. Almost like a game sometimes.

Like I said I don't think I am the bees knees, just comments on what I notice myself doing. I don't think I am "harder" than anyone, nor do I think I am "the Alpha goatee sport red bull thorwing Pher".

I took one for the team and stuck my hand up, be interesting to see what others see themselves as.

[Tampon]

citizensm1th said:

got to agree your not an alpha male

your need to enter into " banter fights" shows this

id say your a little insecure and use your size and presence to give the appearance of control when deep down as you say your insecure.

A real " Alpha Male" would not feel the need to enter into a Banter fight to prove his Alphaness

I have only ever met one or two who I would consider to be alpha males and they were both senior nco,s with years of experience. but even these people when removed from there comfort zone had the same doubts and insecurities of anyone else.

Fair enough. Although the insecure thing is occasional, I thought I would be honest in the spirit of the conversation.

I don't think insecurity derides "alpha" infact I think it would drive it.

I would say engaging in "fights" to decide social heirarchy is extremely alpha. Unless you know of a different alpha to the one I know?

Where would you place yourself in a social group normally?

Edited by Tampon on Wednesday 5th February 21:22

[VinceFox]

Tampon said:

I am

I know I am a dick sometimes and people cannot stand me. But I am also aware of when I am in control. Almost like a game sometimes.

Like I said I don't think I am the bees knees, just comments on what I notice myself doing. I don't think I am "harder" than anyone, nor do I think I am "the Alpha goatee sport red bull thorwing Pher".

I took one for the team and stuck my hand up, be interesting to see what others see themselves as.

Ok, i'll join in...

I feel utterly removed from society. I go to great lengths to avoid being in public or around others, or to let any new people in. I suspect it's partly due to being fked over by those close to me in my past, but i've moved further from the world over time to a point where i now find socialising claustrophobic, tedious and bitterly unrewarding.

[Tampon]

VinceFox said:

Ok, i'll join in...

I feel utterly removed from society. I go to great lengths to avoid being in public or around others, or to let any new people in. I suspect it's partly due to being fked over by those close to me in my past, but i've moved further from the world over time to a point where i now find socialising claustrophobic, tedious and bitterly unrewarding.

So you're an alpha male at a party for one?

[Justin Cyder]

I'd say this satsuma I had last night exhibited Alpha male characteristics.

[VinceFox]

Tampon said:

So you're an alpha male at a party for one?

I prefer high functioning sociopath.

[Tampon]

Justin Cyder said:

I'd say this satsuma I had last night exhibited Alpha male characteristics.

I would say the way you ripped it apart and spat the seeds and peel on the floor shows for the little lady to clean up shows some pretty strong alpha genes in you son...

[Tampon]

VinceFox said:

I prefer high functioning sociopath.

I dont think I function at a high level in anything, so you have one up on me !

[Countdown]

Tampon said:

I am

I know I am a dick sometimes and people cannot stand me. But I am also aware of when I am in control. Almost like a game sometimes.

Like I said I don't think I am the bees knees, just comments on what I notice myself doing. I don't think I am "harder" than anyone, nor do I think I am "the Alpha goatee sport red bull thorwing Pher".

I took one for the team and stuck my hand up, be interesting to see what others see themselves as.

How can you be in control when, in your words, you act like a dick sometimes and people can't stand you? Assuming you're not in prison or anywhere else where physical strength defines the pecking order, how do you assert your alpha male status?

I've worked almost my entire working life in office environments. People giving it the "Billy Big bks" are tolerated ONLY if theyre in a position of power. A co manager or a subordinate doing it would be told to FRO no matter what HE thought HIS status was.

[VinceFox]

Tampon said:

I dont think I function at a high level in anything, so you have one up on me !

Your self awareness/depracation is significant. In written form your intent is ambiguous but i'll hedge a bet you're a reasonably decent person on the inside.

[mattnunn]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/alpha-m...

the fellas at the daily mash definitely alpha people

[Ozzie Osmond]

Countdown said:

I've worked almost my entire working life in office environments. People giving it the "Billy Big bks" are tolerated ONLY if they're in a position of power. A co manager or a subordinate doing it would be told to FRO no matter what HE thought HIS status was.

I think that probably applies in many walks of life. These macho guys typically achieve very little although, as you suggest, some clever ones rise a long way.