Difficult relationship advice.
Discussion
Advice for a close family friend please.
My friend Inga has been with her bloke Scott for as long as either of them can remember.
They've had their ups and downs. She's always been the major breadwinner. He's had one or two periods of contributing decent cash, but generally is a "taker" from the relationship in financial terms.
Scott has children at university from a previous relationship (which Inga pays for), whereas she pays full fees for her own kids doing the same. There are numerous other instances of this nature.
Still, Inga loves him despite of all his faults. He's rugged, manly (in spite of having a massive drinking problem). They complement each other well.
Scott has started talking about how he wanted out of the relationship, felt she was holding him back, etc. Seems to have been something of a midlife crisis and now after months of prevarication he's decided he's going to stay. Close call though. He's made all sorts of demands about wanting more freedom, more of the family money to spend on himself, perhaps even seeing other people. He has offered Inga no choice in this.
My darling Inga is pretty pissed off. The resentment is building and I think Scot is unaware of the backlash he is going to suffer.
What should she do?
My friend Inga has been with her bloke Scott for as long as either of them can remember.
They've had their ups and downs. She's always been the major breadwinner. He's had one or two periods of contributing decent cash, but generally is a "taker" from the relationship in financial terms.
Scott has children at university from a previous relationship (which Inga pays for), whereas she pays full fees for her own kids doing the same. There are numerous other instances of this nature.
Still, Inga loves him despite of all his faults. He's rugged, manly (in spite of having a massive drinking problem). They complement each other well.
Scott has started talking about how he wanted out of the relationship, felt she was holding him back, etc. Seems to have been something of a midlife crisis and now after months of prevarication he's decided he's going to stay. Close call though. He's made all sorts of demands about wanting more freedom, more of the family money to spend on himself, perhaps even seeing other people. He has offered Inga no choice in this.
My darling Inga is pretty pissed off. The resentment is building and I think Scot is unaware of the backlash he is going to suffer.
What should she do?
Do you think it likely that even though Scott has decided to stay, hs internal conflicts will mean that the little fat devil on his shoulder will refuse to accept the "wrong answer" from his conscience, and will press for a further referendum, sorry, marital discussion in the near future?
From now on, Inga should never offer Scott a coffee again. He can get his own.
Inga shouldn't ask if he wants anything putting in the bin, if she's already going.
No more invites on nights out, just assume he'll arrive anyways.
Inga shouldnt even save his number in her phone... just remember the last three digits, should he text her (she shouldn't text him)
Also, if they have a flag together, perhaps fade the colours Scott chose to represent his aspect of the relationship. Like, really fade them. So that they're practically invisible from a distance.
Inga shouldn't ask if he wants anything putting in the bin, if she's already going.
No more invites on nights out, just assume he'll arrive anyways.
Inga shouldnt even save his number in her phone... just remember the last three digits, should he text her (she shouldn't text him)
Also, if they have a flag together, perhaps fade the colours Scott chose to represent his aspect of the relationship. Like, really fade them. So that they're practically invisible from a distance.
Edited by THX on Friday 19th September 09:13
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