James Bond Racist

[Moonhawk]

Deleted (must read thread before posting)

[Roy Lime]

I think this should just about cover it.

Bond 24

We begin with our hero having just completed a successful counselling session in which he was able to reconcile his bi-curious nature with a cisgender identity. It seems his issues were caused by his parents, Colin and Peter, accidentally exposing him to a news report containing flash photography when he was six.

Meanwhile, the evil Doctor Brit White has hatched a nefarious plan to frack for shale gas and try to sell it for a profit.

Bond’s boss (who isn’t a lesbian, but why would it matter if she was?) sends him to put an end to the evil doctor’s scheme. Bond spots Brit White driving along a motorway and gives chase in his Q-Branch Nissan Leaf. Ignoring the warning signs, White drives his Range Rover through some roadworks at sixty so, for safety reasons, Bond stops the pursuit and calls for aerial support. Unfortunately, due to tory cuts, there is only one police helicopter in the area and it is tied up hovering over the home of someone who might have written the word “Muslim” on Twitter.

This time Brit White escapes but that doesn’t stop Bond, who cunningly looks up his address on the Companies House website. That night, Bond rings the doorbell and is met by the evil doctor’s evil henchman, Handjob. Not happy at being disturbed during dinner, Handjob raises his voice at Bond. Knowing that it is his right to work without being bullied or abused, Bond reaches for his Walther before remembering that the department has removed it, as negotiating is always a better way. Instead he relies on a few well-placed postmodern ironic jokes about the tories and soon charms Handjob into bed, where he whips out a consent form before engaging in some mutually-satisfactory safe sex.

Afterwards, while Handjob is asleep, Bond uses his Asperger’s skills to work out the correct PIN to unlock the evil henchman’s iPhone and acquires Brit White’s telephone number. Giving the evil doctor a call, Bond is able to persuade him to change his ways and build a solar panel farm instead; a bit like Scaramanga’s in The Man With The Golden Gun.

THE END

[CAFEDEAD]

I think there might be an opening on Top Gear for you.

[moorx]

R666 said:

In the books James bond is white, therefore a black James Bond is a no

As others have said, race has changed between book and film/performance in other instances - Lincoln Rhyme is white in Jeffrey Deaver's books, but was played by Denzel Washington in 'The Bone Collector'.

[turbobloke]

Justayellowbadge said:

The spy who discussed our commitment and had me sign a consent form before he loved me.

From Russia with a mandate to effect positive change.

The world is not cold enough.

That first title is a must

As a variation on the third 'The civil service pension is not enough, it's more than that'.

[AJS-]

Mark-C said:

Impasse said:

Mark-C said:

OK so Elba as Bond may not be everyone’s cup of tea but Morgan Freeman would be bloody brilliant as John McClane

In the same way that Tom Cruise would make a good Martin Luther King?

You do know only one of them was real?

Are you trying to say Martin Luther King was fictional?

[Chim]

moorx said:

R666 said:

In the books James bond is white, therefore a black James Bond is a no

As others have said, race has changed between book and film/performance in other instances - Lincoln Rhyme is white in Jeffrey Deaver's books, but was played by Denzel Washington in 'The Bone Collector'.

Quite a lot different, the essence of Bond is his Britishness, this defines the character and has been played on in every film ever made, in recent films they have been tapping into this even more and looking at his past in order to explain his character, a very british past. Suddenly popping up with a black guy in the role would be stupid and would, in my opinion, make a complete mockery of the character and the image that has been built over decades and many films.

The question that should be asked is why, there is no sound reason to take this turn, its not as if we have ran out of white blokes to make the film with. The only reason for casting a black actor in the role would be to sate the looney left and PC brigade as its certainly no way in keeping with the character or necessary in any sane way.

[MarshPhantom]

Chim said:

Quite a lot different, the essence of Bond is his Britishness.

So black people can't be British?

[Oakey]

That plot further above sounds better than the plot of Spectre

[Watchman]

MarshPhantom said:

Chim said:

Quite a lot different, the essence of Bond is his Britishness.

So black people can't be British?

Quite..!! A lot of people here are defending their "whites only" position on the basis that anyone who disagrees is a rabid-lefty. That sort of defensiveness is exactly the sort of behaviour that the rabid-lefties are liken to engage in.

We've had several generations of black Brits now. Given that ALL of us likely have a mix of different groups of people contributing towards our DNA, why are whites any more allowed to be Brits than any other group?

[Snozzwangler]

I can't wait for Goodluck Jonathan to pay Prince Philip in the upcoming royal biopic.

[Chim]

Watchman said:

MarshPhantom said:

Chim said:

Quite a lot different, the essence of Bond is his Britishness.

So black people can't be British?

Quite..!! A lot of people here are defending their "whites only" position on the basis that anyone who disagrees is a rabid-lefty. That sort of defensiveness is exactly the sort of behaviour that the rabid-lefties are liken to engage in.

We've had several generations of black Brits now. Given that ALL of us likely have a mix of different groups of people contributing towards our DNA, why are whites any more allowed to be Brits than any other group?

Oh FFS, here we go, did not think it would take long for them to crawl out of the cupboard.

Yip, whenever I see a picture of a black guy I automatically think British….it's in the blood.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Snozzwangler said:

I can't wait for Goodluck Jonathan to pay Prince Philip in the upcoming royal biopic.

Oh ffs. Prince Philip, Mohammed Ali, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King....these are/were real people. James Bond is a fictional character.

I would be against Denzil Washington playing Andy Warhol, but that's not what's being discussed here.

It's not difficult to grasp. A made up person can be any colour your imagination can stretch to.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Chim said:

Watchman said:

MarshPhantom said:

Chim said:

Quite a lot different, the essence of Bond is his Britishness.

So black people can't be British?

Quite..!! A lot of people here are defending their "whites only" position on the basis that anyone who disagrees is a rabid-lefty. That sort of defensiveness is exactly the sort of behaviour that the rabid-lefties are liken to engage in.

We've had several generations of black Brits now. Given that ALL of us likely have a mix of different groups of people contributing towards our DNA, why are whites any more allowed to be Brits than any other group?

Oh FFS, here we go, did not think it would take long for them to crawl out of the cupboard.

Yip, whenever I see a picture of a black guy I automatically think British….it's in the blood.

Ian Wright, Kelly Holmes, Don Warrington....give me a few minutes and I could name a dozen quintessentially British people who are black.

Who's the most British, any of the above or that ginger bearded Islamic militant tt in East London who always follows Anjam Choudhery about.

[Chim]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Snozzwangler said:

I can't wait for Goodluck Jonathan to pay Prince Philip in the upcoming royal biopic.

Oh ffs. Prince Philip, Mohammed Ali, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King....these are/were real people. James Bond is a fictional character.

I would be against Denzil Washington playing Andy Warhol, but that's not what's being discussed here.

It's not difficult to grasp. A made up person can be any colour your imagination can stretch to.

Made up it may be, the books and the films are though and always have been a a caricature of what it is to be British. A black guy in no way fits with that.

Still, lets forget all that and just embrace our multicultural society instead, show the world the new and PC version of our nation, no more little England but proud, loud and diversified Uk.

bks to that, time and place and the Bond films are not it.

Ps, do me a favour and type in quintessentially british in google, go to images and let me know how many images of Black guys it throws up

Edited by Chim on Sunday 29th March 19:08

[Impasse]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Oh ffs. Prince Philip, Mohammed Ali, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King....these are/were real people. James Bond is a fictional character.

I would be against Denzil Washington playing Andy Warhol, but that's not what's being discussed here.

It's not difficult to grasp. A made up person can be any colour your imagination can stretch to.

Apparently Sean Bean is going to portray Hermione Granger in the final Harry Potter film.

[mybrainhurts]

Roy Lime said:

Stuff that made me chuckle

Chuckle ------------------->

[Halb]

Wjat makes Bond stand out in the cinema world is his Britishness. That can be any colour. Film Bond stopped being anything like book Bond a long time ago. Sean and George were identikit DM copies. People threw a tizzy when the lighter haired softer featured modelly Roger took over, only to swing back to DM Bond with hardnut Tim, then a softer yet still classic look Bond with Pierce. Classic Bond was then thrown out the window and people squealed that a short, blond, scouser had become Bond. But I think he has been ace. If saddled in sub-par films. The question has been asked where does the line end...but looking at it from the other way where does the rigid holding onto something end? Especially since book-Bond hasn't been around for decades. The answer is the bottom line, as always. The American audience moulds the JB brand as much as anything. Would a black Bond sell? In the US it might, if it as packaged as still essentially British, which is could easily do. Being British isn't about being a colour, I've met some über-British lecturers were were non-white. More English than the English as Simon Schama would say.

turbobloke said:

That first title is a must

As a variation on the third 'The civil service pension is not enough, it's more than that'.

Pension Plans are Forever

From the BBC With Love

The Man with the Golden Pension PLan

[MarshPhantom]

Chim said:

Watchman said:

MarshPhantom said:

Chim said:

Quite a lot different, the essence of Bond is his Britishness.

So black people can't be British?

Quite..!! A lot of people here are defending their "whites only" position on the basis that anyone who disagrees is a rabid-lefty. That sort of defensiveness is exactly the sort of behaviour that the rabid-lefties are liken to engage in.

We've had several generations of black Brits now. Given that ALL of us likely have a mix of different groups of people contributing towards our DNA, why are whites any more allowed to be Brits than any other group?

Oh FFS, here we go, did not think it would take long for them to crawl out of the cupboard.

Yip, whenever I see a picture of a black guy I automatically think British….it's in the blood.

You sound like Hitler watching Jesse Owens at the Munich Olympics.

[mybrainhurts]

MarshPhantom said:

Chim said:

Watchman said:

MarshPhantom said:

Chim said:

Quite a lot different, the essence of Bond is his Britishness.

So black people can't be British?

Quite..!! A lot of people here are defending their "whites only" position on the basis that anyone who disagrees is a rabid-lefty. That sort of defensiveness is exactly the sort of behaviour that the rabid-lefties are liken to engage in.

We've had several generations of black Brits now. Given that ALL of us likely have a mix of different groups of people contributing towards our DNA, why are whites any more allowed to be Brits than any other group?

Oh FFS, here we go, did not think it would take long for them to crawl out of the cupboard.

Yip, whenever I see a picture of a black guy I automatically think British….it's in the blood.

You sound like Hitler watching Jesse Owens at the Munich Olympics.

No, he sounds like a normal person who's sick to the back teeth with people whose lives are consumed with pushing bloody "diversity". Please shut up, other cultures DO NOT need your help.