Just found out my neighbour is the Green Party candidate...

[Sway]

Always seemed a nice chap...



Just asked me if he can count on my vote. Told him that I'd prefer to have a proper chat to avoid insulting him.

Is there any way this is going to end with continuing good neighbour relations? How can I let him know that I feel the very worst place I could place my cross is for his party, due to their desire for a return to medieval lifestyles, a complete economic ineptitude and, worst of all am a 'denier', without him feeling a need to 'educate' me?

bks. Sometimes I wish I was more comfortable lying...

[Blaster72]

What does he drive?

[Sway]

Honda Jazz...

Should have realised there was something odd about him! (He seems to care for his elderly mum full time, only moved in a few months ago).

[Butter Face]

Just say yes. He'll never know and it's not like he's going to win a seat anyway so there won't be any hurt feelings

[Blaster72]

Oh dear, he drives a Jazz. Best just to lie and tell him you'll vote for him.

That and always make sure you leave the house before he does, every Jazz I've seen on the road seems to have a top speed of about 20mph.

[FourWheelDrift]

Sway said:

Is there any way this is going to end with continuing good neighbour relations?

Lie.

Then invite him to an evening post-election barbeque, with extra patio heaters.

[Grumfutock]

A Jazz? Should he be riding a horse and wearing hemp underwear?

[Shambler]

Hammer frozen dolphin foetus into his lawn.

[manic47]

I'll own up - a friend is standing in my constituency for the Greens... She knows very well I won't vote for her as their policies are ludicrous IMO.
Now the real confession, my wife knows Natalie Bennett... She describes her as lovely but utterly delusional.

[Magog]

Shambler said:

Hammer frozen dolphin foetus into his lawn.

Linda McCartney's surely.

[Sway]

Shambler said:

Hammer frozen dolphin foetus into his lawn.

Seeing as I'm the originator of that meme, it would be considered however he doesn't have any lawn.

Bugger.

[Butter Face]

Sway said:

doesn't have any lawn.

Not very green is it.

[funkyrobot]

Rip the A out of his car's model name and replace it with an I.

[supersingle]

Make it up to him by inviting him to a seal clubbing.

[Jasandjules]

Tell him you hope in time he is executed for his part in the excess deaths of thousands of elderly due to his AGW bull**t. That should be subtle enough.

[supersingle]

Make it up to him by inviting him to a seal clubbing.

[Sway]

Jasandjules said:

Tell him you hope in time he is executed for his part in the excess deaths of thousands of elderly due to his AGW bull**t. That should be subtle enough.

That echoes my true thoughts pretty damn closely!

With the seal clubbing thing - seals were on the beach 150m from my front door last summer, hoping they arrive soon - can have a legitimate sporting excuse for the baseball bat next to the bed...

[Studio117]

show him your pickled blue whales penis?

[BoRED S2upid]

Invite him in Rig up a live webcast and we can all have a laugh.

[Negative Creep]

Tell him about how much you love ISIS. After all, they want to allow membership of all terrorist organisations so he should have no problem living next door to one of their supporters