how to become an mp?

[MK4 Slowride]

ipitythefool said:

shirt said:

worth perserving for the £58k starting salary.

That's lower quartile earnings on PH though.

I was going to say, you'd make more money auctioning Dogs

[Mr POD]

V8mate said:

shirt said:

you need to join a party that has something in common with your political beliefs. i am choosing the conservatives as they want to be in power, as do i.

1. Join local Conservative association.
2. Sleep with old women with blue hair
3. Inform Conservative Central Office that you'd like to be a candidate
4. Attend selection centre.
5. Pass selection centre; get put on 'approved candidate' list
6. Apply to constituencies with no sitting Conservative MP
7. Sleep with more blue-haired wome to persuade them you're the right guy for the job.
8. Get knocked back; you'll never match up to Alan Clark
9. Go to 6 and repeat until a constituency accepts you as their candidate
10. Go round houses, knocking on doors, getting abused for being the stinking Tory-boy Thatcher-spawn that you are
11. Win election.
12. Go to Westminster, collect salary and shag young researchers.

Or stand as a PistonHead Independent on a one issue manifesto. Give roads BACK to the users.

[Digga]

Mr POD said:

V8mate said:

shirt said:

you need to join a party that has something in common with your political beliefs. i am choosing the conservatives as they want to be in power, as do i.

1. Join local Conservative association.
2. Sleep with old women with blue hair
3. Inform Conservative Central Office that you'd like to be a candidate
4. Attend selection centre.
5. Pass selection centre; get put on 'approved candidate' list
6. Apply to constituencies with no sitting Conservative MP
7. Sleep with more blue-haired wome to persuade them you're the right guy for the job.
8. Get knocked back; you'll never match up to Alan Clark
9. Go to 6 and repeat until a constituency accepts you as their candidate
10. Go round houses, knocking on doors, getting abused for being the stinking Tory-boy Thatcher-spawn that you are
11. Win election.
12. Go to Westminster, collect salary and shag young researchers.

Or stand as a PistonHead Independent on a one issue manifesto. Give roads BACK to the users the country back to the populace.

EFA

Politicians on all sides have forgotten whom thery represent and from where the state is funded. They all need to be reminded.

They also ought to have the decency to attempt to field a half edcent cabinet/shaddow cabinet rather than the sunshine bus-fulls of gurning crooks and gomos we have become accustomed to.

[shirt]

MK4 Slowride said:

ipitythefool said:

shirt said:

worth perserving for the £58k starting salary.

That's lower quartile earnings on PH though.

I was going to say, you'd make more money auctioning Dogs

thats basic back bencher pay though, and even with £100k 'allowances' i'd be claiming below the average



standing as a PH independent in london would be good, there's enough of you down there and obtaining publicity with lots of shiny metal parked up on the mall would be easy. my tax payer funded westminster flat could be the new dosshouse for DD casualties!

[Prof Beard]

V8mate said:

shirt said:

you need to join a party that has something in common with your political beliefs. i am choosing the conservatives as they want to be in power, as do i.

1. Join local Conservative association.
2. Sleep with old women with blue hair
3. Inform Conservative Central Office that you'd like to be a candidate
4. Attend selection centre.
5. Pass selection centre; get put on 'approved candidate' list
6. Apply to constituencies with no sitting Conservative MP
7. Sleep with more blue-haired wome to persuade them you're the right guy for the job.
8. Get knocked back; you'll never match up to Alan Clark
9. Go to 6 and repeat until a constituency accepts you as their candidate
10. Go round houses, knocking on doors, getting abused for being the stinking Tory-boy Thatcher-spawn that you are
11. Win election.
12. Go to Westminster, collect salary and shag young researchers.

You forgot to add (a necessity for all main parties) - ensure you have not got: principles, morals, or a conscience

[shirt]

i have principles and morals, but they are flexible. my conscience is wipe clean

i've got a copy of 'who runs this place' at home too, so i'd know more about accountability than most.

[eddie1980]

Concerning the world by starting in Shorpe?? Well at least that bit is original, they wont see that coming.

I'd vote, you cannot possibly be any worse then the current options.

[Prof Beard]

shirt said:

i have principles and morals, but they are flexible. my conscience is wipe clean

i've got a copy of 'who runs this place' at home too, so i'd know more about accountability than most.

Sorry - you've just blown it - you have exhibited the trait I missed off the list - HONESTY!

[shirt]

eddie1980 said:

Concerning the world by starting in Shorpe?? Well at least that bit is original, they wont see that coming.

I'd vote, you cannot possibly be any worse then the current options.

i work in scunny. "The Rt.Hon Shirt MP, Shorpe / Cleethorpes" lets people know the big guns have been brought to the debate.

[Jasandjules]

If you are or could become black/asian and female and ideally disabled in some way I think you'll jump the lists for selection.................... Cynical, moi?