Splitting up with girlfriend in a joint owned mortgage...
Discussion
PurpleMoonlight said:
Apparently not.
She lets you pay for everything then wants half ....
She hasn't said she wants half, they haven't sat down and discussed any finances yet.She lets you pay for everything then wants half ....
OP is just trying to figure out as much as possible to cover himself for when discussions do take place.
We don't know yet whether she'll simply accept a clean split and walk away, or whether her family will get involved and fight her side for half the money.
This thread is basically research and advise so he can go into the situation with some knowledge, and kinda plan for the worst case scenario.
Yes she has.
jamesu said:
She has said that she wants half of the £11k we've put down, but will that happen because both parts (£5k and £6k) were from my family as gifts to me. Not us?
She has also said she wants half of everything, which is really grinding my gears because she hasn't paid for any furniture at all.
She has also said she wants half of everything, which is really grinding my gears because she hasn't paid for any furniture at all.
smithyithy said:
You're right my bad.
But with a strong argument from OP's side she could be convinced otherwise i think, unless she has outside interference,
Thing is though unless she is stupid she would know the price they paid v market price is notably higher as such expects a 50:50 share of that gain. But with a strong argument from OP's side she could be convinced otherwise i think, unless she has outside interference,
What about her input into stamp duty/sol fees/setup payment on the mortgage - even if zero the deeds show 50:50/Joint ownership.
The other problem is its possible that with new tight lending conditions - original poster stated they sorted it pre the change - could mean on his own he fails their lending criteria/they offer him a lower mortgage amount what then? Bank of mum and dad?
Also to exit will involve solicitor fees for her and him to change the title deeds plus for him Admin cost for the mortgage at the very least.
Is the relationship repairable? Does it need mediation sessions or is it dead ? This way would be vastly simpler.
End of the day you need to be very careful with how this is played be hard and she could turn and demand all she is entitled be too soft she walks over you cleans you out, bring in the dad and other relations guns is a risk it could backfire.
Talk to her 1 on 1 first
smithyithy said:
jonah35 said:
Yes, the house would be fifty fifty and when they buy it the bloke would have signed up to buying a jointly owned property.
So as soon as they sign the dotted line, the bloke is essentially giving her half of his £30k?f
k ever getting married.Question: would she be willing to pay him half of any negative equity to walk away?
No, didn't think so...
Edited by Funk on Sunday 2nd November 15:58
Funk said:
My sentiments exactly, I would never buy a property jointly unless both of us went in equally and paid equally.
Question: would she be willing to pay him half of any negative equity to walk away?
No, didn't think so...
In which case unless you as an individual can buy with mortgage the place you live then fine - actually IF then a partner lives with you for x period of time then even though not on deeds nor married they have rights. Question: would she be willing to pay him half of any negative equity to walk away?
No, didn't think so...
Edited by Funk on Sunday 2nd November 15:58
Welshbeef said:
Funk said:
My sentiments exactly, I would never buy a property jointly unless both of us went in equally and paid equally.
Question: would she be willing to pay him half of any negative equity to walk away?
No, didn't think so...
In which case unless you as an individual can buy with mortgage the place you live then fine - actually IF then a partner lives with you for x period of time then even though not on deeds nor married they have rights. Question: would she be willing to pay him half of any negative equity to walk away?
No, didn't think so...
Edited by Funk on Sunday 2nd November 15:58
Funk said:
Which is why I don't live with anyone else!
Lol - find the right one its never going to become a problem - also have to say if you've not yet had children even though there are times they are a pain in the backside the joy and self actualisation they bring and the love & total dependency they give you is so special. It changes life from being your life to being about seeing the little ones grow up and become happy in whatever they choose to do. There is only so much happiness £ brings you but kids and a loving wife/partner are priceless
Du1point8 said:
I would sit the departing GF in the same room as the 2 people who gifted the money and let the Ex explain that she is taking their money and allow them to rip her a new one.
Been sitting reading the thread thinking exactly this... If shes a borderline dolite working in a pub I doubt she'd have enough about her to be able to justify what shes doing to them.If she's still being a t
t, play hardball - House on the market, by the book split every cost 50/50 (gas, leccy, lawyers, estate agents etc...) make her struggle whilst you manage as you'll be £600 a month up (before the additional stuff) as you'd split the £1200 you are currently putting in the pot for bills - she'll get in a big hole and either walk away or shaft herself forever more.16plates said:
Been sitting reading the thread thinking exactly this... If shes a borderline dolite working in a pub I doubt she'd have enough about her to be able to justify what shes doing to them.
If she's still being a tt, play hardball - House on the market, by the book split every cost 50/50 (gas, leccy, lawyers, estate agents etc...) make her struggle whilst you manage as you'll be £600 a month up (before the additional stuff) as you'd split the £1200 you are currently putting in the pot for bills - she'll get in a big hole and either walk away or shaft herself forever more.
Depends how much she earns though doesn't it. If she's still being a t
t, play hardball - House on the market, by the book split every cost 50/50 (gas, leccy, lawyers, estate agents etc...) make her struggle whilst you manage as you'll be £600 a month up (before the additional stuff) as you'd split the £1200 you are currently putting in the pot for bills - she'll get in a big hole and either walk away or shaft herself forever more.Also if she refuses to pay anything more into the joined shared costs there really is little you can do to make her pay. It sounds like all the bills are in OPs name anyway so if he doesn't pay the full amount then its him who would eventually end up with CCJs there is nothing forcing her to pay up no contract nothing heck she may elect to not work then what?).
If of course all the bills are in her name or some then yep she would cause herself issues.
End of the day maybe flowers and a nice bottle of red and home cooled meal could resolve these problems.
PurpleMoonlight said:
Yes she has.
A lesson learned for the future - always get this stuff down in writing. Clearly she's not morally entitled to the 11k but as you didn't enter into a legal arrangement. I would have thought that the furniture is yours (as is anything else you have a receipt for). Tell me you have kept the receipts (and anything else) in a safe place away from the SwTits!jamesu said:
She has said that she wants half of the £11k we've put down, but will that happen because both parts (£5k and £6k) were from my family as gifts to me. Not us?
She has also said she wants half of everything, which is really grinding my gears because she hasn't paid for any furniture at all.
She has also said she wants half of everything, which is really grinding my gears because she hasn't paid for any furniture at all.
She is coming round today to talk things through, i'm not holding much hope but if it does finish completely at least it should be on good terms.
Morally she isn't entitled to barely anything, but she will take all she can get if it comes to it, a lesson learned indeed.
Really really appreciate all the help from everyone.
Morally she isn't entitled to barely anything, but she will take all she can get if it comes to it, a lesson learned indeed.
Really really appreciate all the help from everyone.
jamesu said:
She is coming round today to talk things through, i'm not holding much hope but if it does finish completely at least it should be on good terms.
Morally she isn't entitled to barely anything, but she will take all she can get if it comes to it, a lesson learned indeed.
Really really appreciate all the help from everyone.
Good luck. Morally she isn't entitled to barely anything, but she will take all she can get if it comes to it, a lesson learned indeed.
Really really appreciate all the help from everyone.
Personally, I like the idea of making her pay half for everything until the place is sold. Hopefully she can see things from your side, but that's a bit of a reach.
PurpleMoonlight said:
jamesu said:
She has said that she wants half of the £11k we've put down, but will that happen because both parts (£5k and £6k) were from my family as gifts to me. Not us?
She has also said she wants half of everything, which is really grinding my gears because she hasn't paid for any furniture at all.
Never under estimate the sense of entitlement engrained in all women.She has also said she wants half of everything, which is really grinding my gears because she hasn't paid for any furniture at all.
selym said:
jamesu said:
She is coming round today to talk things through, i'm not holding much hope but if it does finish completely at least it should be on good terms.
Morally she isn't entitled to barely anything, but she will take all she can get if it comes to it, a lesson learned indeed.
Really really appreciate all the help from everyone.
Good luck. Morally she isn't entitled to barely anything, but she will take all she can get if it comes to it, a lesson learned indeed.
Really really appreciate all the help from everyone.
Personally, I like the idea of making her pay half for everything until the place is sold. Hopefully she can see things from your side, but that's a bit of a reach.
As standard I would demand she back dates all the money owed... £800 a month all in per month, she contributes £100 with is 1/8th... as thats what she can afford.
If she wants "her" half of the money she would be paying £400 from now on and the 3/8ths arrears that she was not paying whilst there.
She puts less on the line with regards to risk, then gets less out, simple maths, you don't get 50/50 if you didn't put it in...
After all sale costs she would be getting 1/8th of the equity at a push.
Pretty certain that would turn her mind and she would be paying 1/2 the solicitors fees on sale, etc... she would be getting very little back.
She's presenting you with a pro-rata bill - I suggest you do the same based on the calculations above!
Also the point about sitting her down to make her explain to your relatives why she thinks she's entitled to the money they gave to you as a gift would be high on my list. But then I get angry and indignant about arrogants who think they're entitled and that the world owes them, I would struggle to let it go.
Also the point about sitting her down to make her explain to your relatives why she thinks she's entitled to the money they gave to you as a gift would be high on my list. But then I get angry and indignant about arrogant
s who think they're entitled and that the world owes them, I would struggle to let it go.Du1point8 said:
If she is playing hard ball with the £11k I would go this route:
As standard I would demand she back dates all the money owed... £800 a month all in per month, she contributes £100 with is 1/8th... as thats what she can afford.
If she wants "her" half of the money she would be paying £400 from now on and the 3/8ths arrears that she was not paying whilst there.
She puts less on the line with regards to risk, then gets less out, simple maths, you don't get 50/50 if you didn't put it in...
After all sale costs she would be getting 1/8th of the equity at a push.
Pretty certain that would turn her mind and she would be paying 1/2 the solicitors fees on sale, etc... she would be getting very little back.
And you would convince her to do that how?As standard I would demand she back dates all the money owed... £800 a month all in per month, she contributes £100 with is 1/8th... as thats what she can afford.
If she wants "her" half of the money she would be paying £400 from now on and the 3/8ths arrears that she was not paying whilst there.
She puts less on the line with regards to risk, then gets less out, simple maths, you don't get 50/50 if you didn't put it in...
After all sale costs she would be getting 1/8th of the equity at a push.
Pretty certain that would turn her mind and she would be paying 1/2 the solicitors fees on sale, etc... she would be getting very little back.
She has a legal document joint ownership on the deeds and a joint mortgage - the OP by taking on a joint mortgage has legally agreed to pay the whole amount if the other doesn't pay. Also if all the utilities are in his name then he is liable - it appears this way as she pays for the grocery only ... So actually she may stop paying for that suddenly he is £150pcm down.
I can see this turning out badly and what if she brings back a male friend to move into the spare room with her... Totally entitled to do this a crock of s
t could hit the fan. Gassing Station | Finance | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff