Baby Costs - !!!!!
Discussion
Without knowing your outgoings this is pointless. You're both earning good money and IMO if things are that right there must be somewhere that money is going?
I've had to really look at my spending and upon adding up the £10's / £20's here and there it's staggering.
Friends of ours are in a very similar situation, he earns a bit more but she earns a bit less. She works 3 days per week which pays for the childcare and gives her a few hundred £££'s to herself. They have twins. They both still have nice things and the twins have everything they need. The one area that they tightened was their shopping. They figured out that he had spent £700 in Waitrose on last minute dinners etc on top of their usual weekly shop.
I've had to really look at my spending and upon adding up the £10's / £20's here and there it's staggering.
Friends of ours are in a very similar situation, he earns a bit more but she earns a bit less. She works 3 days per week which pays for the childcare and gives her a few hundred £££'s to herself. They have twins. They both still have nice things and the twins have everything they need. The one area that they tightened was their shopping. They figured out that he had spent £700 in Waitrose on last minute dinners etc on top of their usual weekly shop.
For us, when the first came along any associated costs were basically just what we would have been spending on socialising anyway. I think we were actually better off for a while. Also bear in mind that so many baby 'essentials' are anything but. The problem is, until you've done a bit of parenting, you won't realise this. Some of the overpriced and unnecessary rubbish in Mamas and Papas and Mothercare beggars belief. Try to resist buying things you don't actually need.
Consumables added maybe 20% to the shopping budget, and clothes don't get much use, so don't spend a fortune if you can help it. Supermarket stuff is actually pretty good and cheap enough that you won't resent binning the odd 'soiled' item.
But what I don't get is - why doesn't your wife stay at home with the children? I think a full time parent is great for their development. Why would you work all day to pay a stranger to bring them up for you? Especially as there doesn't seem to be any financial incentive.
Anyway, babies are cheap. Wait until they start school...
Consumables added maybe 20% to the shopping budget, and clothes don't get much use, so don't spend a fortune if you can help it. Supermarket stuff is actually pretty good and cheap enough that you won't resent binning the odd 'soiled' item.
But what I don't get is - why doesn't your wife stay at home with the children? I think a full time parent is great for their development. Why would you work all day to pay a stranger to bring them up for you? Especially as there doesn't seem to be any financial incentive.
Anyway, babies are cheap. Wait until they start school...
rich83 said:
rich83 said:
Why is your wife working just to pay childcare? Why doesn't she stay home? Makes no sense to me
Just incase you missed it the first time around...She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
IanMorewood said:
Hire a nanny at circa £18k p.a. plus lodging on a fixed term contract, look after the kids at the weekend to let the nanny have two days a week off fix your holidays and his/hers so they coincide.
Don't shag the nanny or your annual income will be all gone.
Or get an au pair at an even cheaper rate.Don't shag the nanny or your annual income will be all gone.
blueg33 said:
My wife had a very good Job earning £50k plus 20 years ago. She quit to raise children, now the eldest is 19 she can't get a job doing what she used to do, all she can get is jobs on the minimum wage or fractionally more. If she had stayed in work, even if all her income went on childcare, we would still be better off now had she not given up work.
She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
but how much better have your children's lives been by having that full time parent? It is something which is hard to answer and difficult to quantify. Money isn't everything. We make sacrifices for our children.She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
LimaDelta said:
blueg33 said:
My wife had a very good Job earning £50k plus 20 years ago. She quit to raise children, now the eldest is 19 she can't get a job doing what she used to do, all she can get is jobs on the minimum wage or fractionally more. If she had stayed in work, even if all her income went on childcare, we would still be better off now had she not given up work.
She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
but how much better have your children's lives been by having that full time parent? It is something which is hard to answer and difficult to quantify. Money isn't everything. We make sacrifices for our children.She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
blueg33 said:
My wife had a very good Job earning £50k plus 20 years ago. She quit to raise children, now the eldest is 19 she can't get a job doing what she used to do, all she can get is jobs on the minimum wage or fractionally more. If she had stayed in work, even if all her income went on childcare, we would still be better off now had she not given up work.
She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
That's a big gap though - a lot of women go back to work when the youngest starts school full-time, and that's when they're four now.She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
Without knowing anything about what your wife did, there can't be many non-professional people in £50K jobs 20yrs ago who have stayed in the same job and smoothly gone to £100K salaries. Anything could have happened in the mean-time - elbowed out, firm taken over / gone bust etc etc.
Sheepshanks said:
blueg33 said:
My wife had a very good Job earning £50k plus 20 years ago. She quit to raise children, now the eldest is 19 she can't get a job doing what she used to do, all she can get is jobs on the minimum wage or fractionally more. If she had stayed in work, even if all her income went on childcare, we would still be better off now had she not given up work.
She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
That's a big gap though - a lot of women go back to work when the youngest starts school full-time, and that's when they're four now.She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
Without knowing anything about what your wife did, there can't be many non-professional people in £50K jobs 20yrs ago who have stayed in the same job and smoothly gone to £100K salaries. Anything could have happened in the mean-time - elbowed out, firm taken over / gone bust etc etc.
Don't assume she was non-professional. She had a reasonably senior job in one of the UK's largest companies. The company still exists.
Edited by blueg33 on Sunday 29th March 22:25
We are kind of similar. We have a 7m old, we live with my mum, I'm a maturw student, wife a full time mum. I also run a business which means we can, within reason, have whatever we need/want
Buying buggy and all other kid stuff was a fair amount of money. Probably £5000 spent on 'fixed kids assets' to date. If we have more kids, they'll ve used again. If not they'll be worth almost nothing
My advice is to budget. Look at big outgoings and small outgoings. Thibk carefully about what you need and cut out what you don't need. Example. s
t Starbucks coffee is expensive. Buy quality coffee from say Monmouth and your coffer is now enjoyable and costs 30p a cup. Blah blah. Just budget.
Buying buggy and all other kid stuff was a fair amount of money. Probably £5000 spent on 'fixed kids assets' to date. If we have more kids, they'll ve used again. If not they'll be worth almost nothing
My advice is to budget. Look at big outgoings and small outgoings. Thibk carefully about what you need and cut out what you don't need. Example. s
t Starbucks coffee is expensive. Buy quality coffee from say Monmouth and your coffer is now enjoyable and costs 30p a cup. Blah blah. Just budget. Edited by MrJuice on Sunday 29th March 23:25
blueg33 said:
rich83 said:
rich83 said:
Why is your wife working just to pay childcare? Why doesn't she stay home? Makes no sense to me
Just incase you missed it the first time around...She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
rich83 said:
blueg33 said:
rich83 said:
rich83 said:
Why is your wife working just to pay childcare? Why doesn't she stay home? Makes no sense to me
Just incase you missed it the first time around...She has had her minimum wage job now for 18 months, she is way more capable than the job demands. Had she stayed in work, i reckon her salary would be over £100k now, so even in the last 18 months, giving up that job has cost us £150k before tax
Lotus82 said:
I am not going to outline my financial situation. Well aware not sharing these figures may annoy some but I fear it will only stoke the fire.
The point of the thread is a bit baffling then, unless it was just to have a moan? With the final cryptic comment, it's almost as if you were trolling.What sort of things did you think people might say? The solutions are to earn more / spend less.
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