A petty parking issue

[matt21]

Since January a bloke down the street has started parking outside my house. Completely legal, no massive issue, but bizarre as he has parking much nearer his house. He goes to work after me, back before me, and has decided to park his hire car where I used to park mine.

Not the end of the world. I got on with life. On Monday our paths crossed as he just had parked up when I arrived home. I hadn't bothered saying anything before, but thought I would politely ask why he was parking where he was.

Got the exact answer I expected. With no eye contact he claimed it was a public road, he car park where he wants, blah, blah, blah. He is right.

If there was no parking, or he was polite I wouldn't have minded. His cockiness was annoying! Any hints of tips to piss him off legally without damage to his property or risk to mine?

If you are thinking that I should just get on with life you are right, but I fancy a bit of a wind up here.

[hotchy]

Park an ugly monstrosity right outside his house instead?

[edc]

Tell him you don't park your car there any more as somebody had vandalised it in the past.

[roofer]

Why is he hiding his car ? Who's looking for him? Fishy.

[ashleyman]

If possible, go out each night and put the wipers up on his car! Front and rear.

My friend who was local to me used to do this to my car ALL THE TIME and it was so annoying. Eventually someone walked past saw they were up and snapped one off. We then agreed however funny he found the prank, probably best not to do it now just in case they get snapped off again.

Or put a cone on the roof. Take a half day and park your car in the spot so it's taken for when he arrives back.

He'll know its you though...

Edited by ashleyman on Thursday 26th May 00:58

[Efbe]

I have a knackered old trailer that gets left in front of my house for this very reason.

[CerberusRogue]

urinate on his door handle. I'm sure that I read on this very forum an epic tale of anti-Porscheness, where I was regaled with a fine story of epic revenge. Shame, the thread seems to have disappeared....

[X5TUU]

knackered old caravan £200 on gumtree ... job done!

[V8RX7]

Either park in front of his house - with a quick parp of the horn when coming and going.

Or let a tyre down - using the valve so he has to either pump it up or change it.

Dog poo under the door handles...

However now he knows it's you, there may be revenge.

[HTP99]

Just park outside his house.

I have a neighbour who is really precious about parking and they have "their spot"; oddly it is opposite their immediate neighbours house and not theirs, in the past I have taken "their spot" when I've been back before them and there is no where else to park, this annoys them; I know it does as he parks right up to the bumper of my car with a cm or so to spare, gets out, has a look and wanders off giggling with his girlfriend.

Now I park there whenever I can, even if there is a space elsewhere; I only do it because it annoys him.

[blueg33]

Life is short, there are plenty of bell ends, chill and don't add to the bell end count.

Failing that, I understand that a hit can be arranged for a similar price to a banger from ebay

[dazwalsh]

He just sounds like a cock, i would create lots of devious revenge, like faking a missed delivery card from a delivery company with the collection depot on some trading estate the other side of the city.

I would also sign him up for all manner of st, catalogues for every car manafacturer, every wedding venue within a 100 mile radius, lots of religous publications, that sort of thing.

If i knew his email that would get a hammering too with all sorts of obscure newsletters and crap.

Anything done to his car and he would suspect it was you, but filling his entrance hallway with forrests of junk mail every week would make me giggle inside.

[BoRED S2upid]

We have this we have a very wide front lawn must be 30 m and both our cars on the drive so the neighbours tend to park outside including one with a massive van. I tell guests and relatives to park there at every opportunity but there is very little you can do.

[andburg]

Put a sign up "Parking reserved for convicted paedophiles" sure he'll park elsewhere

[hornetrider]

Just park in front of his house. Maybe he's parking by yours to leave a space outside his for a visitor or other car in the household?

[steveo3002]

handfull of bird seed on the car ?

[vanordinaire]

It's his car, his life, public road nothing to do with you. He's already made that clear and you agree with him but you're on here wondering how to make a tt of yourself? Leave him alone to get on with his life while you get on with yours.

[Thankyou4calling]

andburg said:

Put a sign up "Parking reserved for convicted paedophiles" sure he'll park elsewhere

Now that is funny!

[bristolbaron]

Both ourselves and our neighbours have two very young children so parking outside our own houses makes the world of difference.
The neighbours get really funny when other people park outside their house because of the kids. We never park outside of theirs because we understand the difficulty, however they will always park outside of ours if 'their' space isn't free!

[matt21]

Some brilliant suggestions! Already pinch the space from time to time. Off for a two week vacation. May leave the snotter in the space if I can and drive empty.

Love the paedo and junk mail suggestions.

Will keep you posted