Lending Small amount of cash to friends

[xjay1337]

Maybe so.

We had a lot of talk over the weekend about money etc.

I have made it completely clear to her that while I am in debt to her I am not going to be forced into a position of guilt where I cannot buy anything myself.
We have spoken about her holding this money over my head and that not being healthy, she agrees she has done so and will try not to . I know this is easier said than done.

Will see how it goes

[dartissimus]

Robbo 27 said:

ChunkyloverSV said:

Yep learned this the hard way. Never lend friends money.

Its also a good way to decline giving the loan, 'I value your friendship too much and every loan I have made to a friend has gone wrong.'

"I'm sorry but I'm out of my comfort zone"

[Blown2CV]

xjay1337 said:

Maybe so.

We had a lot of talk over the weekend about money etc.

I have made it completely clear to her that while I am in debt to her I am not going to be forced into a position of guilt where I cannot buy anything myself.
We have spoken about her holding this money over my head and that not being healthy, she agrees she has done so and will try not to . I know this is easier said than done.

Will see how it goes

OK some interesting further info arriving on this page!

how have you got yourself into a position where, even though you earn a lot more, the other person ended up paying in entirety for a holiday? I mean if most of her 'income' is a loan then yea she probably will want it paying back as she is borrowing in order to lend... Also, if she during the course of your relationship has decided to go back to Uni and re-train (is that what happened?) did you guys not discuss and agree how you would make that work financially at all?

[xjay1337]

Blown2CV said:

xjay1337 said:

Maybe so.

We had a lot of talk over the weekend about money etc.

I have made it completely clear to her that while I am in debt to her I am not going to be forced into a position of guilt where I cannot buy anything myself.
We have spoken about her holding this money over my head and that not being healthy, she agrees she has done so and will try not to . I know this is easier said than done.

Will see how it goes

OK some interesting further info arriving on this page!

how have you got yourself into a position where, even though you earn a lot more, the other person ended up paying in entirety for a holiday? I mean if most of her 'income' is a loan then yea she probably will want it paying back as she is borrowing in order to lend... Also, if she during the course of your relationship has decided to go back to Uni and re-train (is that what happened?) did you guys not discuss and agree how you would make that work financially at all?

I explained before why I didn't save. I didn't really want to go so I didn't prioritise saving for it.

It wasn't quite entirely to be clear. She paid for my flight (minus £300) and my share of the hotels. I provided just over £1000 spending money (which was for food / fuel etc). She also put in an equal share of spending money.

We had spoken about going back to University before we bought the house while we were renting, I want to support her goals so I even said don't worry about money, I would cover all of our joint bills. This was before our outgoings went up with the new house etc and also without any additional stresses due to holidays etc. At the time I could have comfortably done this.

Specifically since moving into our purchased house, and her going back to Uni we did discuss that she would not be able to contribute any more (or equally) to the house.
She says once she graduates and goes into work (which should be pretty much immediately out of Uni) then she can pay an equal share which will take approx £300 off my outgoings.

I'm also glad that the car goes back in February 2020!

Edited by xjay1337 on Tuesday 3rd December 15:22